Mental Health Thread • Page 128

No one should ever be happy to read this, especially not in this thread. :( Sorry you're struggling.

 

you're always here and i appreciate it so much. thank you.

 

I do this anxiety thing where I'll think up different scenarios of how a conversation will go so I can prepare/brace myself for it. I am always much more articulate, outspoken, and charming in these scenarios. Then reality happens and 99% of the time I don't say anything at all and stare intently at my lap because apparently if I can't see them they can't see me.

 

I wish I had someone to talk to about what I'm going through with my guy. I don't feel it's my place to post openly about it though. If anyone has any experience with hallucinogen-fueled (..sparked? inspired? idk?) mental illness flareups....or schizophrenia...? feel free to message me

 

life seems too overwhelming sometimes and i get anxious about just existing

 

I feel you, every decision seems overwhelming and it's like shit I have to not only do this but probably do this for another 50 years

 

When the contract for the warehouse ended I went right back out and job hunted.

Had 3 interviews and 2 job offers within the week, took a job close to my home (can walk there).

It's as a prep cook/dishwasher for an Italian restaurant. I get free food, and everybody is pretty nice.
Did the first week without any hiccups (surprisingly), but today I got a bit flustered. It was my first shift on my own, without someone working in the back with me. So I didn't pace myself well and got a bit disoriented. Apparently this was expected though as the chefs helped me clean. No one yelled at me or anything, my boss basically said "yea you'll get used to it, I'll put you on more weekend shifts with _____ and _____ so you can learn from them as well."

Had that feeling of defeat waiting for the bus home though. A waitress was there too, we'd chatted before. Don't know her name, don't really know anyone's name ahah, but everyone knows mine. I'm so quiet and the thoughts are so loud sometimes that I can't talk :/ like if I start talking I might just cry or get all manic or something when I'm over that threshold

But i was the only one mad at me and frustrated with me, everyone else seems reasonable about me gradually learning and becoming more efficient but I'm just kinda all or nothing.
I didn't eat supper cuz I didn't deserve it, two ppl asked me if I wanted anything.
I don't really deserve another $20 dinner, especially tonight cause I was so slow so no thanks

I'm also not sure what I'm doing longterm...
I should just go to bed. Just needed to talk to someone but friends are busy and family asleep

 

seriously im almost 25 and i already feel extremely worn down from being alive. how much longer do i have to do this and how much more worn down am i gonna get? humans got the short end of the stick look at this

 

I worked in a kitchen at a chain restaurant for about four years. This restaurant was probably one of the three busiest on the busiest road in my home city and it sucked. It was some of the toughest work I've done. I started as a cold prepper and moved into a baker role before I ended up moving away from my home town. It sounds like the people you work with were like mine. There's a weird familial camaraderie that takes place in a kitchen; you spend the whole night yelling at each other because you're all working towards a common goal -- putting out the best product possible -- and it's hot and sweaty and shitty but at the end of the night, you close up and you all walk out together and all that stress melts away. Some of my best friends I made at that job. You'll be great. Your coworkers will have your back and then one day it'll just click and you'll do great at the job and, hopefully, you make some awesome friends, too.

 

I feel like this would be so helpful to me to incorporate into my life. My sister is basically the bane of my existence and I've been debating cutting her out for awhile and this would help haha.

 

A lot of my anxiety focuses around a "crisis" cycle. Thinking I have disease x, fixating on it etc. I always forget how helpful therapy is even when i'm not in that crisis mode. Simply talking about life to someone who is not family or friend. Granted I still can get panic attacks just because, and have nights where I just feel "off" for no reason. Either way once I move to my new apartment I'm hoping to find someone nearby and start up again.

 

Can someone give me some tips/advice on getting through a rough patch with my dad? Not seeing eye-to-eye at the moment. We're very different people. I know he loves and supports me, but just based on the fact that we have such different views, and we treat people so differently, causes a lot of issues between us. Our relationship is 'civil' at the moment, but like, we just don't like being around each other.

 

I really feel like I'm losing it. my grading job appears to be over for the year. I don't actually talk to anyone outside of my mom. I just had to put down my cat who was only 7 years old and holy shit when can i catch a break. I don't know how much more I can take

 

That's super tough. Me and my dad are close and have similar personalities but our views are very different. I've just learned to meet him where he's at tbh. I wish his opinions would change but I don't think they will. I try to take his past and experiences into account and give him grace. There are some things I just won't bring up with him. I like to think that different people in life sort of give you different outlets. I've come to terms that my dad is not an outlet for talking about certain views or opinions, but instead he supports me in a different way (thru our shared love of music being one). I think recognizing this and being okay with it has helped our relationship. unfort idk how to really fix it, more just like... live with it lol.

 

I've suffered from depression for 7 years and today was the first time I forgot to eat. I've only eaten a tiny amount of pasta 7 hours ago. I only realised now because I feel ill. I'm scared and don't know what to do

 

Seriously considered suicide today to the point I was asking around about sleeping pills and looking up shotgun prices. I'm not even unhappy or sad anymore, just indifferent. Everytime I try to climb out of the hole the anchor breaks or lets go and laughs at me as I fall. I still have no way to do it, but god I am so eager to do so and tbh I don't want any ears or help anymore. I reached out enough, I've retried retries that were retrying other retries. I'm over it and I've pretty much decided that "if" is gone. It's just a matter of when.

 

Wish I could give everyone in here a hug/buy them a beer/shake their hand/whatever form of comfort they desire. You're all wondrous, beautiful people.

 

https://themighty.com/2017/06/jon-hamm-therapy-depression/

https://themighty.com/2017/05/forgot-to-take-antidepressants-what-happens/

Currently feeling an immense amount of guilt. I hate how sloppy and distant I become once each school year ends. Everytime I know I'll get to that shitty point, yet I'm not able to escape it. Even my closest friends, the ones I trust the most, I can't reach out to them because I'm so scared. I wish I didn't have to feel this way

 

This isn't really a mental health question/topic, but I guess technically it is. And it feels like the best place to post.

Has anyone used this to quit smoking? I've tried gum/cold turkey quitting a bunch of times but after a week pretty much give up. This seems so much easier than gum.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004VDQH5O/?tag=absolutepunk-20


feel free to move/delete if it's in the wrong spot

 

I'll be turning 29 in a few days and I find myself down more than ever. Somedays I can fake it, days like today I just feel hopeless. Depression runs in my family, I'm the only one not on pills. I believe we forge our own meaning in life but what's the point of that even? I can remember my last birthday feeling like shit, I'll never forget turning 28 because I was so down. A whole year has gone by and I feel the same. What the fuck is the point...of anything...I don't know if I could ever take my own life, it's something I worry about years from now. I've been unemployed for over a year now because I got injured at my own job and developed tendonitis in both my wrists, absolute nightmare for a musician. I had to stop working out regularly and have lost 20 pounds and sometimes even driving causes pain to flare up. I lost a decent paying job and now I'm fighting to work at Starbucks or a grocery store. My girlfriend left me a few months ago, moved across the country and got a fresh start, something I'd kill to have. This depression turned me into a shell of who I once was, she never attempted to understand but I don't blame her for leaving. I keep hoping I'll wake up one day and this cloud will be gone. I can't even bring myself to eat or work on my music. Every day that goes by that I don't touch my guitar I hate myself a little bit more. Fuck...really just needed to vent.

 

See, I thought anti-depressants would reverse that feeling.

 

ive started taking Adderall in addition to my normal Seroquel/Celexa mix and its been a HUGE improvement. im more focused, im sleeping better, ive lost about 15 pounds in the past 5 weeks or so (seroquel caused me to gain roughly 100 pounds in a year, its startling looking at my FB/IG pics and how quickly I gained weight) and im just generally more upbeat. i think my recent posts on here have reflected that, id like to think im less reactive and corrosive and more relaxed. i asked my doctor if this means i have ADD/ADHD and was misdiagnosed but he said no that often times BPD medication can be accompanied by Adderall to help relieve some of the stranger symptons (paranoia, restlessness, etc). basically im just coming in here to say im doing a lot better than i was doing 3 months ago.

 

Been doing good lately, but today has been hard. I don't know why it's been so bad, but I just feel so empty and alone today. I've had no motivation to do anything and I just feel like a piece of shit.

It sucks, because yesterday I felt probably the best I had felt in years.

 

Shit comes an goes Joe. Not permanent. Hit me up if u need anything.