The Parenting Thread • Page 32

Going back this afternoon to an ultrasound place off post to get an earlier tell of if we're having a boy or girl... tried this past weekend but the baby's legs were blocking any view. Doing the gender reveal at Disney World this weekend so that should be fun.

 

Every time my kids get vaccines, they look at me like "et tu Mom?" And every time I'm like "you're okaaaaay; this is not a bad thing" (while trying not to cry because they are crying)

 

Felt so terrible when my son was a baby. He’s just there being a baby then all of a sudden bam and he’s crying.

 

Yeah my toddler screams anytime he has to go near the bed/table because he is generally scared of sitting on things that tall, so I expect the tears with him. I forgot about how chill they are when they are only two months old just hanging out and then the tears. I was like nooooo.

 

My dude has honestly never been scared or afraid of going to the Dr. He fusses a tiny bit during shots but that's only because he hates being restrained.

The Dr actually has commented on the fact at how comfortable he is even she checks his ears because my wife always messes with his ears do he's just used to it

 

When my son got his very first shot he didn’t even cry at all. Now he’s 3 and he doesn’t mind going to the doctor but it’s been a while since he’s had a shot. Not looking forward to the next one though

 

Does he freak out about things like that or even in general like when he gets hurt?

 

No not really. When he was about to be two he broke his leg and we were in he hospital for almost 48 hours before they did anything about it. He handled it extremely well.

 

That's great that he's handled it well, hope he does better than you think he will when he gets another shot.


My wife took the little one on a playdate at the park earlier this week and of course he sat in an antbed and got bitten alot (like close to 50 or so) and he took it like a champ, didn't cry or fuss at all. Just walked over to her and said "Mommy, hurt!" He's actually done pretty well with the itchiness too.

It's just crazy to see how tough children can be at such a young age.

 

Ash turned two yesterday. This week has been real rough, just crying about everything, slowly showing signs of temper tantrums (first time he's done it), just overall asshole kid.

 

Congrats and welcome to the toddler stage

 

It's brutal man. He's been truly a saint up until a week ago. He naps well, goes to bed well, eats only healthy foods, plays well, shares, the whole nine yards. But since the beginning of the month, there's more "mine", a lot of "no" talk, just dropping everything and throwing a fit. It's super stressful for me, as a first time dad. Harder when mom and I don't live together and can't get a consistent way to handle the situation.

 

Yeah that's definitely pretty rough man, have things gotten better between y'all at all?

We are definitely in the fits stage too. If he doesn't get what he wants he loses his mind instantly, good good times!

 

It's been weird, as it has for the past 8 months. This weekend she put an offer on a new house (better schools, closer to her business, etc.). And said if accepted (it wasn't), she would like me to move in with her and have a "fresh start." I told her what difference does a "fresh start" have if it's your current house now, or a new one? And that I wasn't ready to move back in, since there's a lack of foundational stuff that needs be addressed.



What do you (and others in this thread) do when your child is in a fit? Do you walk away and ignore him? Do you get on one knee and rub his back and hold him? I've never raised my voice to him, and don't plan on it, but I know some parents do and their kid stops. But I don't want him to fear me or be scared of me. It's a tough call, but the behavior is not okay so I'd like to stop it before it gets too out of hand.

 

My son turned 3 in September, his really bad temper tantrums started probably around 2 1/2 years old. I mean, like, kicking, screaming, punching, throwing, crying for upwards to 40 minutes - maybe even longer. We've tried everything, putting him in timeout, sending him to his room, yelling, calming him down by talking softly, etc.

Honestly, it's probably different for each kid and for each situation. I don't think anyone has the right answers because if they did, the problem would be solved for a lot of parents.

For us, I actually think walking away, or at least semi-ignoring the tantrum - works best for us. Often times, kids probably do it for attention or for our reaction and if you don't give it to them, they calm down. Like, when we put him in his room, I'll go back up 5-10 min later and he'll be sitting on his bed or on the floor playing with cars and he'll start talking to me like nothing happened.

Another thing is, when he's crying or screaming, we'll calmly say 'use your words - tell us what's wrong' and now he's starting to at least talk through whatever is bothering him and we've found that starts to calm him down. Once he does calm down, we'll talk to him later and be like 'hey, remember you got so mad you threw something or yelled, that's not OK. Big kids don't act that way.'

 

It's pretty much a mixture of ignoring, consoling, and stern talking/yelling at him (mainly just out of frustration) that sometimes works. Putting him in timeout with mostly too.

Which for us is him laying on his bed by himself and typically fussing because we got onto him. After his time is up we talk to him and let him know we still love him and why he got put there and what he needs to do better and it usually works for the most part.

Mine's definitely getting better but we haven't quite gotten completely there with the using your words. At of times THAT'S WHY he's frustrated is because we can't figure out what he's trying to say.

 

Yeah, it's hard since he's only 2 and can't say much, and I'm not sure he understands what a "time out" would be. Oh well, we'll keep trucking along.

 

Honestly I think consistency is key really

 

Anyone else struggle with this?

 

I have anxiety just reading that headline, it's one of our biggest fears as parents. Ash's mom and I did a very good job with what he eats, do this day, but I get shit from my dad all the time like "when are you going to give him real food." Like fuck off dad, the food you eat is not appropriate for a 2 year old.

 

I think the line at the end is where I struggle the most

"“Given that many parents now rely on grandparents for care, the mixed messages about health that children might be getting is perhaps an important discussion that needs to be had,” she added."


My mom is retired and watches Ash, for free, Wednesday through Friday. I feel like I can't have a proper "you can't give him that" discussion because I feel like I owe her so much since she sacrifices the majority of her week to take care of him. She does not take criticism well either, so if I say look, you're doing this wrong, I get a shitty attitude and a "fine, then find someone else" kind of vibe.

 

Yeah, same exact boat for me. Our parents both help to watch our son from time to time and it can be difficult to ask them of that favor but also set all of the rules for them as well. It's such a weird position to be in where you have to dictate how your parents do things, haha. But yeah..the amount of juice that gets handed out at BOTH grandparent houses is insane.

 

I do all the grocery shopping for them, so fortunately that kind of stuff isn't really an issue. It's just sometimes they'll be eating something, like a pizza and ask if they can give him some.

 

Just this morning I was feeding him his breakfast (banana, clementine, milk), and he at his clementine, half his banana and asked for some pistachios.

One time he asked for pistachios, and at the time I only had ones that were in the shell (which I didn't want to crack for him), so I decided I was going to give him cashews instead, because what 2 year-old would know the difference? He shook his head "no" and said 'stachio! Kid is the best eater.

 

I used to worry about my son suffering ill effects from hanging out with my mother-in-law too much. Like, she's over all the time, and has been since the day he was born. He's very attached to her. Granted, she's our primary childcare when my wife and I are at work, and even comes over at the drop of a dime if my wife and I want to go do something without the kids. We are very fortunate in that aspect. She doesn't work and she only lives a few minutes away and has no other grandchildren (other than our two kids).

From what I can tell, she doesn't spoil him with unhealthy drinks or snacks and she encourages him to do learning activities often throughout the day. Whether it be looking at books, drawing, painting, learning objects/numbers/letters, she seems to keep him occupied educationally. I used to be worried about him not getting enough social interaction because he wasn't in a childcare with other kids, but he's around my nephews and friends' kids enough where I think he's pretty good socially.

He's in preschool now, so he's not with my mother-in-law as much every day and doesn't seem as reliant on her as he was when he was 1 or 2 years-old.

My parents also live nearby but both work full-time and have other grand children from both my sisters, so they don't see my kids as much as my mother-in-law does. My parents probably do a little more spoiling in the food category just because maybe it's their way of making up for not seeing him as much or something.