The Maine Band • Page 20

I never said it was taking advantage, I just said that I heard they were “dating”. Whatever that means, if true this is still very wrong to me with the age gap, regardless of it being consensual.

 

I get that and in the end it's your decision to share what you feel is right. It just seems a little odd to share things like this when you don't even know the full story you're trying to tell us. The Maine has always been a fan friendly band, so having a picture with John really means nothing. And even if your friend was telling the absolute truth, as he/she understood it, there's still the issue of whether your friend's cousin was being honest when they said this was happening. I knew a lot of people that age who made up much more ridiculous stories than this. I know you're not calling for a boycott of the band or anything, and I don't mean to pick a fight with you or try to silence anyone - certainly if someone comes forward with a story like this, I'l eat my words. This just feels too close to rumor mongering to me and is reductive to the conversation.

 

i get that, and that's why i took my time before posting this. it's definitely a secondhand account, if i knew more i would have been more public and intense with what i knew. but i wanted to at least say what i know, since i'm not making things up and it wasn't just random hearsay. i understand everyone feeling this way but i've learned it's never right to just be quiet about things in case there really is a major issue going on.

 

Didn't say you did. Just providing an account of personal experience. I do feel that if you genuinely think this is a thread that needs pulling, you should talk to your friend or her cousin instead of shaking trees just to see if anything falls on the internet though. Surely that'd be more effective?

 

i haven't spoken to her in like, four years. and i also don't want to bring up trauma if it actually did happen, not that i'm expecting there to be

 

"i havent spoken to her and didnt want to bring up the trauma but i also wanted to look woke on a music website so i decided to post about it anyways"

 

Maybe it's just me, but if someone else's personal business weighed down on my chest so hard that I could not stop myself from telling others about it, no less on a forum that takes these issues extremely seriously, I probably wouldn't have a problem talking to the person themselves about it first before dragging someone else's name. Imo there isn't a world where that's a crazier idea than using their story without their permission to evoke similar ones on the internet. It feels like you have good intentions, but I'm just saying.

Also, if there's any validity to your gut feeling, you're inadvertently going to bring up trauma for somebody even just by bringing it up anyway

 

please stop pretending this is what that is about, even as a joke. all that does is diminish the seriousness of how i take these things

 

I’m not joking. You’re diminishing the actual serious allegations and toxic abuse by coming into threads with half baked anecdotes just to stir up a hornets nest. It’s really, really weird and incredibly counterintuitive. I’d advise you to stop.

 

i am not trying to stir up anything, i have nothing against this band and i don't care what judgments people make, i'd rather more information be out there than less. sure, i'll back off now, but i sincerely disagree that i did a bad, wrong thing. i would say this about any band that i've heard even the littlest thing about, regardless of how sourced the information is. plenty of other less founded rumors get more traction on here

 

But Casey.....if the person who was involved......hasn’t shared this information......and you haven’t talked to them in 4 years......maybe don’t post about? What good is it going to do? Who is it helping? We get it, you’re super woke and want to look good for everyone but at this point it’s getting reductive. There’s literally no other reason you came in here than to stir things up. None. Zero. You’re not helping the victim, by the by if this DID happen it’s fucked up but I’d rather hear from the person involved, you’re not helping anyone reading, you’re not helping anyone but yourself. Knock it off.

 

shut the fuck up i don't do this for myself at all ever. why would i put myself in these situations and talk about these things for myself? i get nothing out of it. that mentality makes it seem like i shouldn't even ever try to be a voice to call out abusive members of the scene. should i stop? should i not be helpful at all ever? i disagree completely, so i'm stunned you would even say things like this.

 

very mature

i didnt say you should stop. i didnt say you shouldnt ever call out abusive members. dont really like trying to somehow bring "mentality" into this, as if i actually believe any of those things. but in this instance its pretty much useless to voice something that may or may not be true and doesnt have the victims permission to talk about.

 

Nobody's intentions here are bad and neither of y'all are involved in the situation at the center of your disagreement. Good lord.

 

right, which is why i didnt come in here with a flimsy allegation rumor.

but stuff like this really dilutes actual issues so its pretty important to discuss.

 

the way you said things makes it seems like all i do is try to say things in order to look better. using that term puts the way i react to things in a general sense as a pejorative, which i believe is messed up because i sincerely always have positive intentions in a way that's not in the very least self directed. i wouldn't have discarded so many bands i love and have a very powerful part of my life if it was simply performative. yeah, this story might not have been necessary to say here, might not have been the best course of action, but if you say that it wasn't done in good faith you are incredibly mistaken

 

i never said all of the things you do are performative. youve done great things for the scene. but somehow trying to twist my words into saying the opposite isnt cool either.

im sure it was with good intentions but im pointing out how poorly it came across and how damaging it can be, thankfully its The Maine thread so its not like its going to tear down all of the good things but its important for people reading to know this isnt the way to go about it

 

this is your first comment in this thread. the first thing you say is that i did this just to look "woke". i am not twisting words, you said it.

 

because this one particular instance came across that way?

ill say it again: you have done good things for this community, this scene, and you have taught me things that i appreciate. im sorry if it upset you.

 

okay. thank you. now i will stop talking about this and we are done here. there was a misunderstanding in our communication and this is it.

 

I think it's important to know when to stop talking and stop making these kinds of conversations all about ourselves and our own minor disagreements... none of us have anything more to add to the rumor, and if anybody came in here and read this who did have something more to add, I doubt they would want to wade into this kind of vibe. Just drop it, y'all.

edit: you're ahead of me, my bad.

 

So uh... how ‘bout The Maine huh guys...

 

Good band

 

I've never heard of them. RIYL?

 

Third Eye Blind

But for real I get a lot of 3EB vibes in this band