Sexism/Feminism/Womanism Discussion Thread Social • Page 87

totally.

and I fall under this. I don't give the idea too much thought because I hate my dad and don't want anything that ties me to him so I am eager to someday hopefully take someone else's name.

 

I'm honestly hoping that if I ever marry someone with a cool last name, I can take it

 

If I end up marrying some man who *really* cares, I'll legally change my name because I don't care what private legal documents say. But - something tells me I won't marry someone who gets bent out of shape about that stuff. And that's assuming I ended up with a man in the first place. I wouldn't expect my spouse to take my name either, regardless of gender.

But publicly/professionally? Unless your last name is cooler than mine, not a chance in hell. Anna Maria Susana Acosta flows beautifully (despite non-Latinxs inability to pronounce any of those names except "Maria"), and I'm not stunting that.

 

damn! upon research i didnt realize how big of a "patriarchal" issue this actually is. It's much more difficult, legally, for a man to take the womans last name than vice versa. If a man were to take the womans last name, he has to go the legal process of actually changing his last name...whereas a woman's name changes instantly upon marriage (for the most part).

thats crazy.

I feel like this is an underrated internalizd migogynistic/patriarchal issue.

 

It's not instant. Men and women go through almost the exact same process for a name change.

 

i dont think that's accurate as that's not what im reading. I'm seeing, it varies state to state but more often than not, for a man to change his last name after marriage, he has to go through the legal process of a name change whereas a woman does not. Sure you have to go to the DMV and do that stuff for a woman, but there's no legal burreacray of doing the last name change.

From what i'm reading; "According to a lawyer, nine states — California, New York, Hawaii, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Oregon, Iowa, Georgia and North Dakota — currently have laws that specifically allow a man to change his name upon marriage"

 

The marriage license. That's the main document wives can use to do the social security and license changes... for husbands it's not that simple. They have to do the official court name change thing which takes a long time and has many more hurdles.

 

Yeah my only experience with name changes prior to my sister getting married was that episode of Friends where Phoebe changes her name to Princess Consuela Banana Hammock so I thought there was this big form and a long line at a courthouse or whatever but my sister just like checked a box that she was changing her name on the marriage license and that was it. It def wasn't a whole process. Changing everything afterwards is, but the actual act of changing your name is very simple and on a form u have to fill out to get married anyway. Couldn't be any easier. My sister actually asked them if that was it lol. I think changing your name outside of marriage is more of a process? That's been my impression

 

The thought of my future wife taking my last name is kind of jarring. We’ve made it this far with our current names, plus I associate you with your original name only, and all of a sudden you’re just part of the club? Also my sister got married last weekend and hyphenated; her last name is now 18 characters...

 

I can't imagine hyphenating. I already have 4 names. If I add on any more, I'm going full Targaryen and creating an entire title.

 

I prefer the idea of just creating your own new family name with your spouse. Hyphenating isn't really sustainable for your kids who might then go off and get married and suddenly your grandchildren have got like four last names.

 

In my case I don't expect any woman to take a name she can't pronounce. Güereña is a bit of a mouthful.

 

I will change my last name to St. Nate.

 

Taking a partner's name has always seemed really weird to me. I'd rather my spouse just keep her own name and I keep mine.

 

Quick rant: I'm tired of men telling me what words I should or should not be offended by.

 

I walk into work this morning and walking towards my office I overhear a conversation

"Hey did you hear about the redemption for Cam Newton?"

(I assume he's referring to the apology)

"They found some old racist tweets from that Jourdan chick, so Cam is totally in the clear now"

I hate 2017

 

The news cycle has been so exhausting as of late.

 

The stuff with Weinstein is so upsetting, espesh because people would always make jokes regarding him and his actresses and the casting couch. I always thought that they were just sexist jokes in poor taste, like women can't possibly get a job on their acting alone, but now I'm like okay it's an extra awful joke in light of everything. Like it was an open secret but ppl still put that on the women and mock them for it smh.

 

Also I'm not a huge film buff but why are so many people speaking out against Harvey (which is awesome) but people still support Polanski and Woody Allen? Like actors are coming out of the word work against Harvey, but have praised the other two? Do Polanski and Woody just have more award clout, or...? like what makes his allegations different enough that lots of celebs are speaking out, vs the ones that celebs are still working with and protecting?

 

That's what I've been wondering about all day.

 

I'm reading more about it and it seems like some high-profile actresses are speaking out, so I wonder if that's it? Like it happened to their own so they are more supportive, vs the other two who took advantage of people more vulnerable and since it doesn't directly impact these actors they can pretend it's not their business and dismiss it? idk idk.

 

Weinstein had a critical mass of allegations i think, with Polanski/Allen there were far fewer victims so building that case and momentum is a lot harder. which is bullshit sadly but.

 

Lindsay Lohan Defends Harvey Weinstein: ‘I Feel Very Bad for Him – Everyone Needs to Stop’

stopped giving a fuck about her a while back, fuck off