(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 761

ok after giving it some thought i was completely wrong

 

Getting back on topic, if any of u want attention when u go out wear this



I wore one like it on Thursday and got a handful of positive comments everywhere I went. It is a guaranteed success. Granted I got no numbers or dates (I mean, it's not a magic headband), but it makes u irresistible and is a conversation starter! U R welcome.


Image didn't work. Now you will never know what it is and will spend ur life wondering

 

i need to know now

 

Yeahhhhh Idk why but I'm pictures some ridiculous hat with cup holders and whatnot or some shit like that.

We need to know.

 

I call Clovis a small town when it's population is 100,000+

 

ur a small town

 

Living in a lonely world?

 

That's Detroit duhhhhhhhh

 

Ok luckily for u I have a picture of me in it that I will post instead. Read carefully : the monster over ur face is optional. Or if ur like me, ur face is the monster and it's super meta!!

 

Wait is the monster a snapchat sticker or something or is it actually on your face? I feel stupid that i can't figure it out lol. Anyways it'd be even better if there was something in the gift box.

 

it's an app sticker

I received the headband as an employee of the month gift so ur kinda talking to a big deal rn, fyi!!

edit: that may have added to my swagger so it's possible u may need to win employee of the month at ur job first to utilize the full power of the headband.

 

Wow man, I can't imagine the roller coaster of emotions you went through the past week. So happy it is working out, it's why honest communication is so damn important. I feel like stuff like this (not specifically this) is inevitable in a marriage long term. Good to hear man.



I think I may see a girl tonight who I befriended in Florida and now lives in NJ. It's pretty clear if we hang we are gonna do some foolin around. Not gonna lie, I NEED it after dealing with all this post break-up stuff haha. This stuff always falls through with me though, so, we shall see.

 

My stepmom was telling me how when she first started dating my dad he made her a mix tape and the first song was him playing Metallica on his guitar and it's so cute I can naaaawt. It's weird hearing about that side of ur parents! At least mine cause they don't rly show a ton of affection

 

V v curious what song it was. Don't know much about Metallica but would never expect them on a dating mix tape lol

 

I'm gonna guess it was Enter Sandman because my dad only knows how to play like two songs lol, the other one being a Slayer song. I guess Metallica is the more ~romantic of the two lol

 

10/10 tweet

 

Savage lmao

 

how can i get out of doing something on my birthday (that i have absolutely no interest in doing) without upsetting my gf who i am pretty sure really wants to do the thing?

 

Is it her plan specifically? I always let my gf know that I hated doing stuff for my birthday

 

Fake symptoms the day before. Play sick the day of.

 

3-4 days before that talk about your friend group or coworkers having the flu so you have a source to blame where you got sick from

 

Keep having weird relationship related dreams lately. In this edition a guy from high school asked me out. I remember thinking hmm I've never really been attracted to him, but I guess I'll date him. My dream self is desperate apparently.

 

But that requires being the sickest on my actual birthday, which is an extra bit of drama I want to avoid. And her whole family is going, +1s included. Like I just wanted to go to dinner at this awesome steakhouse and maybe see a movie. I hate that performance stuff like blue man group its so boring to me and now I'm just a dick. I'm 34 years old complaining about my birthday being ruined by something nice someone did

 

It wouldn't be the first one I've spent alone... My 23rd birthday my gf at the time was helping a friend and got in an accident in a parking lot and it wasn't major enough for me to drive over but not minor enough that she was home quickly

 

nah, you fake it early in the morning. tell them to go to the thing without you so they're not there catching your germs, and then as soon as they leave you sit on the couch in your underwear all day.