(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 547

Brb marrying @dadbolt

 

A friend brought up an interesting point that people nowadays kind of treat marriage like leasing a car - you like it and have it for a few years and then you get sick of it and put a bunch of money in a new one, rinse and repeat.

 

Believed this was about LP#5 and got very excited

 

prenup prenup prenup. Imagine having to break up with someone and still being like, oh, I still have to buy you gifts and food and shit even though we're not together. I think marriage is fine and I don't have many qualms with it, especially since it simplifies a lot of legal things, but I want as little legal obligation towards another human being as possible (with the exception of kids).

edit: I used gifts and food as an example of a bf/gf situation I know that's not the case in divorce lol.

 

sorry

 

Unfortunately that's how alot of people treat it and it's sad.

I'm no different my brother turned 30 in April and is engaged for a 3rd time and 2 kids with different mothers and one of my grandmother's has been married 8 times that we know of maybe more. I've been around it but damn if I'm gonna let that define me.

 

Why though? Just because of the acrimonious divorce and whatnot?

I know you always joke about being dead inside and maybe this is more of that but I truly feel like life is still beautiful for you, maybe it's just taking it's sweet ass time.

 

lol just trying to stay on brand my dude

thanks for the nice words though!

 

Everyone in my family has been divorced pretty much. My grandma was telling me about her divorce from my grandpa which happened before I was born, and apparently he expected her to be his mom basically and even WASH HIS HAIR and she was like wtf no lol. All the divorces have made my view of marriage pretty cynical. I think it can work but with no real examples of it, it doesn't really seem realistic I guess. I suppose all the remarriages have worked so far.


My coworker was recently telling me about her wedding ceremony that lasted like an hour or two and I was like giiiirl if I had known u then and been invited I'd have been so mad omfg nobody, literally nobody, wants to sit thru that.

 

I used to judge people SO hard for getting married/ having kids before I deemed them "Ready" (to be fair most people I know were having kids with people they hardly even knew and thus marrying them because that's what you're 'supposed' to do)

but like my quarter life crisis combined with pregnancy scare really made me realize different?? lifestyle choices? make? different? people... happy??? WHO WOULDA THOUGHT.

like of course we all praise having one marriage and kids with one person as the end-all be-all but it's like...why tho.
it's possible to have totally functional and healthy marriages/children relationships etc etc
idk idk
i really regret being 26 and not settled down.
I never wanted to settle down but now I'm like shit I wanted to be a young mom and I shot that in the foot.

 

My parents are still together but it's interesting to see how my mom is coming to grips with the past 30 or so years of her life. She's sort of realizing how fucked up all of it was and how she basically sacrificed her prime years to raise a family for my dad. I think she was really unhappy for a long time and is finally able to verbalize it and find the right words to explain why, cuz she's been reading more feminist literature which has helped a lot.

 

I did the break up thing and it went a lot better than I thought

 

glad it went well
you're our official breaker upper now

 

That's me 100%. I don't do PDA stuff and it's a decent strain on my current relationship. I just don't like to be touched too much, to be honest, no matter who it is.

But "young" isn't a number. It's a state of health and mind. I feel as "young" as I did when I was 25 and I'm 31 now. I just have a better job and am in a better place mentally, emotionally.

 

I think the key is to complain about all the other problems in your life first

 

Did you cry like Costanza so she didn't get mad.

 

Why’d you break up was she a snorer

 

Haha this hits home for me

 

I either snore, or am constantly lied to. I'll never know for sure.

 

Just to add to the marriage thing, I don't know if I'll ever do it again. I just don't see the benefit to it. I'm not yet divorced, and my SO and I have been going to couples therapy for about a month now to see if it's fixable, but just the process behind divorce is so infuriating that it completely diminishes the appeal of a wedding/marriage.

 

nailed it. once bitten, twice shy.

 

I snore.

 

I don't snore, and I thank the good lord everyday for that.

 

So does everyone else

 

My coworker and I were talking about our vacation days and I asked when the big day was, when she was getting married cause she was, but then she told me she ain't and I saw that the giant rock on her finger isn't there and hasn't been there for a minute. Ooops.