(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 546

All anxious about going home. We got into a brief text fight yesterday before I just cut it off. It will go one of three ways:

• She will hole up in our bedroom and not acknowledge me because that's how she deals with most stuff.
• She will not come home after work, not let me know where she is/when to expect her, and probably show up once I'm in bed
• She will be nice/sweet and act like it never happened

All three options suck lol

 

The first option sounds like something I'd do whoops

 

The first option is the most likely. I get it, too, but she really acts like I don't exist when she gets like that which is no bueno.

 

I just really like talking things out... preferably immediately. I'm really good at not holding grudges. I like to hash it out, figure out what we did to upset each other, apologize, and make the most of the rest of the day. I have dated exactly zero people that operate the same way lol

 

Sounds like me at Thanksgiving with relatives

 

i used to be really bad about this. I've gotten way better about it but sometimes it's a matter of needing to decompress/sort out my thoughts before i jump into those kinds of conversations.

 

I def understand this but the severity of the issue has no bearing on the severity of the response a lot of times. It'll be like, "I forgot to mow the lawn last night" and then she will ignore me for a day

 

I can relate to this. There have been many times in past relationships where I can sense that something was off but wouldn't get any sort of actual response from the other person when I tried to talk to them about it (or I was told that I should know why they're upset, which was the worst). Then other times, I'd want to talk something out and be told I'm just being dramatic and to get over it.

This happened a lot in my last relationship. It was very frustrating.

 

oh i understand where you're coming from and wasn't trying to defend her behavior. just talking about my experiences when I've been guilty of doing the same stuff. totally get that it's not the best way to act if you're trying to keep your partner in mind.

 

I feel super trapped right now. I am swinging wildly between 2 things: being SUPER over the "non-relationship" situation, and feeling like i'm an idiot and he doesn't care about me at all.....and, being so in love and just grateful that I Get to spend time with him, no matter the title or circumstances.
urrrggh

 

i want to send the girl who ghosted on me one last text. just something like "i had a lot of fun talking and hanging out with you. take care of yourself." i don't expect it to lead to anything, just some kind of closure for myself. would you guys recommend against it?

 

i personally wouldn't bother. if she ignores that too it won't make you feel any better about the situation.

 

I've broken up with only two people before and it's so difficult. I wanted to break off my relationship but I felt trapped and like I couldn't so I kept it going longer than needed. It's tough.

Today was a weird day too. For some reason like every bad memory of my last relationship kept flooding back into my head and I just feel exhausted now

 

GF and I have not talked about "serious" stuff like kids or marriage or anything because seriously what the fuck we've been dating for like 3 weeks or something.

But today she kind of hinted at talking about it since I received the invite to my cousin's wedding and she's fucking 20 years old (my cousin that is) and good lord you should never get married before you're legally allowed to drink. Christ talk about rushing things.

Anyway. Inevitably the conversation will arrive and I'll have to admit that I want nothing to do with kids or marriage and she'll get upset and things will end and work will be terribly awkward. I'd have no issue staying friends after the break up (although I've never done that before) but that will depend on how pissed off she gets I suppose.

Anywhoo, back to eating chili cheese Fritos and being unproductive

 

About the conversation with parents having kids in their thirties: no real problem with it, they have so much life experience and they're totally sure they want kids, you know? But I'm almost 21 and my parents are in their early fifties. My dad has diabetes and a bunch of other health problems and says he won't be alive for another 20 years and it really freaks me out. And my mum is starting to have high blood pressure at times, she's sore and might need to take medication soon. I'm glad my parents waited to have my sister and I, but it's scary now when they come home and talk about their whole bodies in pain and my dad taking like 8 tablets a day. My dad's health problems also makes me paranoid about any single thing I put in my body but THAT'S A DIFFERENT CONVERSATION. Anyway. I love you all

 

Option 4 happened: she was a total asshole to me. Want to sleep forever.

 

sorry if i missed this earlier in the thread, but how long have you been together? has she always been like this?

no offense but she sounds like a terrible person - or at least handles things in a childish / awful way and treats you like most would a stranger on a bus or something. seems very bizarre.

 

my grandparents have been married for around 75 years (INSANE)

neither one of them expected to live into their 90's (they're currently 92 and 94 respectively)

they're both so bored and done with life the entire family is literally surprised they haven't just gone the murder/suicide route.

with never expecting to live this long they've blown through almost all of their retirement and have done everything on their bucket list. they literally say they're just waiting for the clock to run out and are disgruntled that it hasn't happened yet.

physically they're weak and it takes a long time to do the most basic things we take for granted in our 20's / 30's / 40's but mentally they're still sound, which has got to make it even more frustrating feeling trapped in a broken body.

in a lot of ways they're the coolest people i know because of how they disassociate themselves from the doom and gloom of death.

everyone thinks living forever, or at least super long is a great thing but it's always seemed awful to me and this just cements my feelings on it.

 

Just over two years. We had one prior rough patch early on, but it was after a bonafide crisis in her life, and I don't use that against her. She recently got a new job and made a bunch of new friends, which I was thrilled about, but since then I've only gotten whatever slivers of time she has left over from her time with them. Which was fine... two months ago. We live together. Now she's never home, which on top of sucking romantically means I'm left to take care of the home, clean, do all the yardwork and maintenance. I'm really not about it rn.

 

Thank you, @bigmike. I was starting to feel a little bad about being 30 and single.

I don't put effort into any relationship. I go on dates. I do not like PDA and I do not like clingy. Seems to be all I'm dating here lately. I really like my autonomy and space. I'm introverted as hell. Meh, whatever.

 

I tend to attract rly clingy guys who like write poetry and wear their hearts on their sleeves and wanna do the pda thing which is cool I'm just the total opposite and its always been an issue. Then i have my friends complaining that their partners are too closed off and don't ever wanna talk about feelings or be romantic so I think it's kinda funny! Like must find middleground!!

 

When you get to 90 that's how alot of people feel. Like they're just done

 

Re: marriage I don't feel like you should feel pressured into it. Marriage isn't for everyone and it's not always easy by any means but it's definitely gotta be something that both your partner and yourself are on the same page about. Marriage isn't something to be taken lightly even though alot of people feel that way.

 

hmm interesting i feel like that at 30