(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 212

Ouch. That will soon teach him.

I can't help but feel dating at the minute is such a competition. There's not really time to get to know someone properly because you have to get rid of all these other potential dates too. It's nightmarish. I feel like I'm always under pressure to move along faster than I'd ideally want, because I don't want to be beaten.

At the same time though, I'm pretty sure that's led to some situations where I've dated someone for like 3 months and then realised that I'm not developing any feelings for them, because they're not actually right for me. It's such a mess.

Still, I'm soon moving to a new city with a very different reputation. Hopefully I'll bump into someone I actually have a connection with.

 

I wonder where it comes from, I know part of it is media, you see movies like Say Anything or The Notebook and the message is get the girl no matter what don't give up, but that can't be all of it

 

There's a difference between not giving up on a person and not giving up on a scam/tactic that you will use on anyone until it works.

 

I'd bet on a combination of stupidity and insecurity.

 

Dominick can get into way better, but patriarchy, men treating women as if they're objects to be won and that men are somehow owed the woman that they want, etc.

 

Ew. People are so fucking gross. I would prob save it too hehe

 

Right?! He essentially said they are in an open relationship and that I could verify with her if I wanted to so I fully plan on it!

Also it's kinda funny cause I was just awkwardly like noo I'm not ready to hook up with anyone. Then like the next week I met someone and began hooking up with him....someone that he turned out to be friends with hahaha whoops ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

I know it's still hard but you seem like you're feeling a lot better and that's so awesome to see.

 

Dudes are dominated by their dicks. Trust me I know, mine makes me wear a gimp suit.

 

You're the sweetest ever thank you
(It is still hard sometimes but I AM feeling a lot better :D)

 

They're Kia Sorentos. That's all they are.

Also, I don't think it is biological for men to be terrible. Male-ness is constructed by systems of oppression, therefore, those systems produce terrible subjects. For example: quantifying sexual intercourse like one counts the number of shoes they own. There is no objective value aside from enhancing males and hurting women. You can sleep with sixty or so people, and still be a shitty useless dude. Also, most men are shitty and useless.

 

Guys always wanna jump to sex almost immediately and I'm like ew no and I think they interpret it as me not liking them, which I do stop liking them when they won't stop pushing so I guess they're kinda right

 

it's always been a weird feeling that pretty much any time I see someone say "guys do..." or "guys are..." I can't relate at all. Gender norms, huh?

 

same, like every time on Reddit it's like "things that women should know are true for every guy" I'm like hey not me

 

Depends what you're talking about...

 

It definitely led to some crises of questioning masculinity at various times that I just did not remotely fit what everyone told me, until I got old enough to realize that shit didn't matter and have some confidence. It's depressing to me that there are enough men who fit that type to make it the default assumption.

 

I never related to the dating stereotypes associated with women. Like those sucky "bro" movies where guys talk about women like we're nags or always wanna talk about feelings all the time or whatever. I always tried to distance myself from it a lil too much like "I'm not of those other girls" when I was younger. As an adult I realized a lot of women are nags because a lot of men are useless and want someone to baby them but naw

 

I've always been into the football, but that's the most "masculine" I get

 

yeah until recently I always felt bad about it but recently I've realized traditional masculinity can be awful so it's good I'm not like that

 

sports are cool

 

Haha. This is like the liberal equivalent of "notallmen", but more depressing because you should know better. Or maybe it is like a humble brag thing. It is both a matter of positionality within the overall cultural superstructure, as well as individual acts. And, in any case, the idea of the "good feminist" has become such an appropriated concept that it is almost the 21st century "I have a black friend". It is like a white person saying they're anti-racist. That's cool, but you'll always be suspect as fuck.

Maybe I'm just being a cranky asshole, though.

 

So British.

 

not all testosterone?

 

Yep yep.

TW: abuse
The Dangers Of Dating Faux-Feminist Men - The Establishment

 

I've definitely felt more lonely than usual since moving out.