(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 182

Thanks dude for the kind words. I appreciate it!

 

Oh boy, this was my ex and his girlfriend two years after my ex and I broke up! She left me messages anonymously and he would look at my blog all the time

 

That moment when I'm booking a hotel and I change the number of adults from the default 2 to 1.

 

I still think polyamory is ideal. I love my bf very much and he loves me but really how practical is it for two people to only sleep with each other the rest of their lives ...? I'll see how it plays out but I just really don't think humans are made that way.

 

I think I'm too boring for polyamory. I like what I know and hate going outside of that box so I'm okay in that sense, but being with one person for the rest of my life seems rare. People grow and change so much I guess I wonder how people grow in a compatible way. I guess lots of hashing it out. I'd be content with a few meaningful relationships that represent that time in my life well. I'm not opposed to being with someone forever, but I'm cynical.

 

I'm pretty traditional as far as relationships go and I can pretty easily see myself sticking with one person. But first I'd have to find someone which is not going well

 

Wonder how common it is to find a really attractive person -- someone who could have desirable options at the snap of a finger, if needed -- who's genuinely opposed to polyamory (on emotional/rational, not religious, grounds) and only wants a lifelong, monogamous relationship.

I mean, I'm sure they're out there. It's just interesting to think about; as someone with few options, I don't really like the idea much, but I know it's mainly cause I'd probably get a raw deal if I were to enter into a polyamorous/open relationship. It's not hard to imagine some type of open relationship being an ideal setup if it's between two people with sufficient, and fairly equal, outside options.

 

I don't oppose it in theory, but feelings are hardly a rational thing, could easily lead to resentment if one partner is seeing more action outside of the bounds of the relationship than the other.

 

Have you talked to him?

It would seem to be that way, however, most people don't grasp what polyamory is and when they do understand it, they find quickly that they aren't able to handle any of the jealousy that would occur. My girlfriend is polyamorous but has pledged to be monogomous because I'm too insecure to pursue anything poly.

 

Not in a serious way, no. We have discussed it in a hypothetical way before and he was pretty opposed to it, but I really don't understand why if your gf is saying " sure go on dates with pretty girls and sleep with them" that you'd say no. He's also not even a jealous person, I actually am, so maybe I would be the one unable to handle it!

Although I do think the big difference falls under the fact that I am very outgoing and he is very introverted, so it would probably be unfair, which I don't want of course.

I can probably be happy with monogamy but it doesn't feel natural. I also cannot talk about this irl because my friends are very close minded and love my boyfriend and would be like what the hell iswrong with you???

 

This is honestly probably me. I am fairly jealous but in my head this all sounds good, haha. Doubt it ever goes super smoothly.

 

ya I don't get how polyamory works. I definitely can't imagine telling a girl I'm in an open relationship and then her being down with that. I guess I could see how excluding that information in a hookup could work but I don't really have the ability to just hook up with a random girl.

 

Going for dinner with my boyfriend and his dad and step mum tonight

 

I'm the extreme jealous boyfriend type. Sooooo

 

I don't know if I could get one partner let alone multiple partners

That being said anyone who marries their high school sweetheart and only has one partner their whole life doesn't seem exciting

 

There are a lot of reasons I wouldn't want to be in an open relationship. Partially because it feels like that means I'm not good enough, partially because its not that easy to meet people and dating sucks so why would I want to keep doing it when I'm in a relationship. Plus, like Jacob said being upfront about the fact that you're in that relationship would make it even harder to meet someone. Anyway that's how I feel about it!

 

The "don't ask, don't tell" policy between partners seems to work well. At the very least, it lays the groundwork for being able to discuss it later on. Another way to ease into it is to engage in a threesome a couple of times to make the idea of another person acceptable, after which you allow your partner to be by themselves with this person and it sort of normalizes it.

 

Ahh. Doing the poly thing then.

 

u kno it

 

I'm the jealous type so I've never entertained the idea but I've also never been asked to partake in that kind of relationship.

Marrying your high school sweetheart is a common thing down here. My parents did and they still seem to like each other.

 

My parents also got married as soon as my mom graduated from high school. They're still together but I wouldn't say happy. They seem like casual acquaintances most of the time, but maybe that's normal after 40+ years.

 

My view on polyamorous relationships has been quite a ride. When I was in high school, I thought they were gross, and kinda looked down on folks for it. I was raised by three scorned women so I have always taken relationships pretty seriously, but I used to be a real moron about it. Now, at 25, I totally get it. It's not for me whatsoever, but the couples I've met that are on the same poly wavelength are some of the happiest I've ever seen. I've seen a couple crash and burn after having kids and trying to maintain that style of relationship, though. I'll always be old-fashioned in that sense myself, I would love to be with someone for 50 years, and I take great pride in always being 100% faithful through all of my relationships, even the awful ones where it would have been very easy for me to not be.

 

My girlfriend has told me if I wanted an open relationship we could have one, but I have zero interest in trying to get another girl into bed. For me, personally, if I did, I wouldn't be with my current girlfriend. If he's not willing to explore polyamory, you either have to choose monogamy or a new relationship, to be quite frank.

 

I donno about the poly thing. Maybe if my partner was only with women I wouldn't feel jealous. Maybe if we had a sub. That be cool.

 

My girlfriend works with a guy who has been married for 20 years, the last 10 of those, they were a poly couple. They have four kids, both of them have stable, multiple relationships outside of their marriage that are 1+ years in length and it's mind boggling for me just from a time-management standpoint. This dude works a fairly high stress job, always taking home 2 hours of work with him and then he's got a date night with one of his girlfriends, a date night the next night with another, then date night with his wife, then family night and he's been trying to get back into writing so he sets goals of like 20,000 words written per month. I don't know how he does it.