(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 18

I never fought much with my exes cause I'm very passive and genuinely things roll off my back. It's not that I just hold it all in, I legit stop caring. I'm kind of a big picture person and I feel like in the grand scheme of things most things ppl fight over are kinda pointless and silly so it's hard for me to stay mad.

 

it depends , generally with age differences I feel like connecting could be difficult , but my cousin is like 9 years younger than her husband and they're perfect for each other

 

I feel like this is how we both are. Like there is a lot that's happened that I think others would fight about, but we always look at things like "Is this really an issue?" Or "will we even remember this a few months from now?". She lives 70 miles from me and we only see each other once a week, but we're very close still and have made it work.

 

What are peoples' thoughts of dating in this day and age in general when it comes how frequently friendships, and relationships are being created via text messaging, and, or a dating apps? I have come to feel very cynical about it, such as this whole thing about "playing the game" of dating, and when it's too soon to text, or how much you are supposed to say, or hold back.

 

My relationship of a year and a half exists because of the app Hot or Not. We are very happy, and are both very committed to the other. She's my best friend. So, I'm perfectly fine with it. Whatever works for people works for people. And due to my mental health issues I would have never met someone any other way. So, I guess that's how I feel about it. Thankful for it all.

 

Yeah, not everyone needs/wants to use those sort of apps, and that's fine. They'll connect with people other ways. For those who need/want to use them, that's great. Now they have a good tool to help them find someone they might've otherwise never met.

 

Yeah. I would have never met her if it wasn't for those apps, and that's the saddest thought in the world to me.

 

I guess my angle is that I have become tiresome how to play this game of when to text, and how much much, or how little you are supposed to say. I had a situation recently where I had been talking to this lovely girl, and she seemed to be interested in me, until my over analysing became an issue and I would worry why they hadn't texted for so long, and now they don't appear to want to speak at all, with no reason given. This has left me sceptical about online dating, and how I should conduct myself. I am glad these apps exist because otherwise I wouldn't have the confidence to go up to a woman in a bar, or some another social situation, but I guess you can see the conundrum I am in.

 

I think it's really just meeting the right person, the same way it is in "real life". I talked to a lot of people in that app, and most ended the way you describe, but me and my girlfriend just connected and it's worked itself out. I don't know. Just my experience, for me it worked. That's about all I can really say.

 

One of my pet peeves is when people pull the 3 day rule or whatever. I'm too old for games and if someone likes you they aren't going to be like hmm they texted me the next day so now I don't like them anymore. I have always hated people not texting me for long lengths of time after a date.

 

Ah yes the three day rule, where you are supposed to wait three days supposedly in order to talk to that person again. It's ridiculous.

I think I might get too attached too easily, which ultimately is always going to be my downfall, even if we haven't met yet, which was the case with this girl who I met on Tinder. There was obvious chemistry, but I have no idea why she stopped talking. One of life's great mysteries.

 

Agreed. People overanalyze stuff like this a lot.

 

The way things seem, or as least how they've been going for me, is I'll meet someone online and then we'll text constantly for a few days, then when it drops off that's how you know it's over. Which leads to be panicking about long times between texts

In other news, i think i got sidelined and that's why this girl has been talking to me on and off since January and its gone nowhere. Time to cut it off i suppose

 

I guess everyone is different. I'd date 5 years older than me at the most and 3-5 years younger at most . 5 younger only because I'd date someone that much older than me...

 

I absolutely hate this aspect of dating right now. It's a total pain. I don't want to play games, but because there's increasingly this ingrained thing of needing to delay messages to avoid seeming too interested, I have to try to guess when I should say hello again after a date. However, because I don't care about that sort of thing (I'll pretty much talk whenever I'm free), I'm absolutely shocking at judging it.

I'm pretty sure I'm currently fucking up a situation because of this. Better still, is that Whatsapp tells you when your message has been read, so I can see I'm being ignored. Such fun...

I definitely over-analyse in this situation too. Because I meet people through Tinder, I just assume they're dating multiple people and that I'm dealing with an unknown level of competition. It's not an enjoyable mental space to reside in.

 

Just started something with a girl who I've been friends with for a little under two years. Never really thought about a romantic element until recently, I don't think she had either. Kind of at this wonderful "not sure what this is, but let's just be around each other" phase of the whole thing, but I feel oddly reassured about the situation given how long we knew each other platonically before anything happened.

 

I am going to look at an apartment this weekend. This past weekend, she had a man she used to date over the house, which is fine, but as they got progressively more drunk, they insisted that I hang out with them. I declined, so drunk people being drunk, decided they would antagonize me. This man proceeded to go on and on about how cultural appropriation isn't a thing, with her basically taking his side. I just left and went upstairs. And then was asked the next day why I was mad. I need to ask one of my friends if I can stay with them until I get my housing situation sorted out.

 

I know you two broke it off but that is just disrespectful. I would never do that to someone I loved enough to get engaged to
and marry.

 

wow what the fuck. idk how it all went down but it might be helpful to remember moments like this when you start to get down about everything because you deserve a lot better than the way this person treats you.

 

Shit. I'm living with my ex right now and am trying to stick it out until our lease is up in September.

It's actually not so bad. She's been being extra nice to me because she thinks she broke up with and hurt me, but she doesn't know I haven't been in love with her for like 6 months. I've been anxiously awaiting this break up for some time now.

 

Doesn't this hinder both of you moving on with your lives? Sucks to be stuck in a lease like that though.

 

Sort of. If I wasn't in the process of changing jobs I'd probably move out, but that just seems like so much work that I don't want to do right now. Plus, she's gone all the time at school/work/an internship, so often it feels like I live alone, anyway.

 

Guess that makes sense. I stayed with a guy way too long just because I didn't want to pay the rent by myself lol. It's nice that she isn't around much!

 

Haha, that actually describes my situation somewhat too. For the last few months it was a relationship of pure convenience. Pretty sure the last time we had sex was in like November (which, now that I think about it, is decidedly inconvenient for me). Lol

 

What the hell, that's kinda fucked up @yourfaveweapon