(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 171

Can't believe nobody made the "well... if its warm joke" (Well I guess I just now did, and I'm not proud of that fact).

I am however proud of this thread.

 

I got two phone numbers last night. Most of the conversation consisted of Trump, then it took a twist into how I despise giving hand jobs. So, that was cool.

 

...go on.

 

Whoa, that got weird for a second. Weirder than the Sex/food/WoW thread

 

I mean, I really hate giving hand jobs. And I basically said, every man comes into a situation thinking that he is going to orgasm, and my role is to fuck that perception up. And so and on so forth. Then, I told the joke I made earlier in the thread about only having three moves with women.

 

Weird is what we do best.

 

Speaking of HJ's, did anyone watch The Overnight?

 

Well, my girlfriend of 5 1/2 years and the person I was planning on marrying and spending the rest of my life with just broke up with me.

With me being extremely introverted, having social anxiety, and panic attacks all the time I'll probably be single for the rest of my life. This shit is depressing.

I don't post much but reading this thread along with the mental health thread made me feel more comfortable about posting.

 

That's the worst. Just know that it will get better.

 

Make sure you allow yourself to grieve, whatever that ends up looking like for you. I'm very sorry, I know how awful that is.

 

Yeah, I don't really recommend it but I drank for like 3 days, didn't go to work, and went through the sad-angry phase. After a week or so, just surrounded myself with friends and started working out every day and playing sports and stuff to keep my mind off it. Started feeling better about myself after about 3 months...just takes time. It's also VERY hard not to contact the other person, but you should definitely try your best not to. Makes it SOOO much harder if you don't.

 

if you've read both threads then you know I am in the same boat. I'm really sorry. I know it doesn't mean much but at least we are in it together, and if you need anyone to talk to, I'm here!

 

Yup. Working out and blocking all possible methods of communication got me through it.

My situation was an abusive one, though, so obviously not all situations are the same - but I definitely recommend an embargo on communication while grieving. It offers clarity (and in some cases, allows you to save your pride which can be a HUGE comfort later on).

 

Yeah my ex wanted to keep hanging out with me and my friends after breaking off the 5 1/2 year relationship. Tried it once, and then had to tell her hell nah. Kinda fucked up on her part, cause it just inspired hope that wasn't there.

 

That really fun moment when you get tagged in that "love your significant other challenge" and you end up crying uncontrollably

 

I'm so sorry. Got asked if I was married the day after a bad breakup and burst into tears in full public. Not my finest moment, but I know how badly that sucks.

 

ugh. That's shitty. Why is it all so shitty.

 

I could give you a lot of platitudes about how it gets better, or how time heals, or how things happen for a reason - but none of that helps and there are a lot of factors that go into making those things true. Perception is so much of the battle. So all I'll tell you is that it sucks. It hurts. You grieve. You start to get better. You grieve again. Some days are easier than others, but healing isn't linear. Grief isn't linear. The end of a long term relationship is like a death, no matter who instigates it or why it ends - and it's okay to treat it as such.

But be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to feel it without judgement. Whenever I used to start down the self-flagellating path of asking myself if there was anything I could have done differently, I would say this to myself: "It is what it is. It's done. Get over it." I was harsh with myself because that was what I needed to shake it off, to steel myself against those thoughts. To remind myself that there is no other way that it could have been other than what it was. You have to give yourself permission to find that thing that will help you through this - and most importantly, you have to give yourself permission to truly want to move on. That's when healing starts.

But again, healing isn't linear. It will take time, and tears. I am always here if anyone needs to talk.

 

All of this. I was told once while I was going through a bout of grief to let myself feel. To sit back and observe the emotions and not feel pressure to change them. I will say, though, that you do still have to place a lot of trust in time.

 

The placing trust in time was something I didn't want to admit 7 years ago during my first big breakup. I'm glad that I'm confident and well equipped with that knowledge, for this one, today.

 

This is much appreciated. Especially when it feels like anyone I've opened up to about it just wants to tell me what to do and judge me if I don't do what they think I should do. I am certain everyone deals with things in different ways and NEEDS to deal with them in their own way. Am I making some mistakes as well? Probably. But this is what's happening. This is how it's going. I can't force myself to do what others are telling me to do.

 

I have indeed. I'm really sorry it happened to you. It's a terrible feeling. I suppose we can be partners in crime!

 

It is, but this thread and forum help a lot. For me it's easier to be a bit vulnerable since I don't know anyone on here in real life. I'm not afraid to sound pathetic haha
That said, partner in crime reporting for duty! What do you want to do first? Crank calls? Mail an envelope of glitter to our exes?? I don't know this is my first break up, is this how you do it?

 

Ahhh, don't worry. I'll sound pretty pathetic soon. Once I get comfortable enough with you friendly people.
I was going to suggest the ole lighting a paper bag full of dog poop on fire and leaving it at our exes front door. But maybe we can workup to that one. The glitter idea sounds like a good one. Let's do that!

 

Misery loves company and I'm here to party.

Gonna join the recently ended relationship club. It's been a little over 3 years (lived together for 2) and my gf and I decided to part ways when our lease is up at the end of next month. So, as of now we're broken up but roomies. We've been on pretty different wavelengths for the last year or so and we decided to cut ties before we flat out start hating each other. I know it's the right decision, but since we're still around each other all the time everything seems normal. Still though, fact is I'm losing my girlfriend, dog, and apartment in the next few weeks. Ya know that split second where you burn your hand on the stove and it doesn't hurt yet but you know damn well you fucked up and agony is coming? That's where I am right now.

But yeah, if shit gets too heavy for anyone pm me or something. Cheers to new beginnings.