(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 134

Hey Girl: The Best of ‘Feminist Ryan Gosling’ (PHOTOS)

 

My old rm had a feminist Ryan gosling meme book and would tear out the pages and leave them for me like whhhhhy am I bombarded with that meme? What did I do to deserve it

 

I don't get guys texting me to ghost :/

 

Pretty gross.

 

i agree, extremely gross and i feel awful about it.

 

damn i was already feeling bad but @Dominick right im such a fucking creep. shit. i deserve this. idk, i probably dont deserve to be living much less being romantically involved with anyone.

 

Woah woah that's not what was said.

So you felt a little hurt when someone left you and had a mutual one-off with a different girl (who had a bf, remember, so it isn't like she was looking for a serious thing with you either)
That doesn't make you a bad person. Mistakes are made, and we learn from them.

Or am I missing part of the story?

 

Everyone makes poor decisions. It's a fact of life. All you can do is learn from it and offer apologies when the situation calls for it. @CoffeeEyes17

 

what the fuck is "ghosting"?

 

I am wary of all aggressive feelings directed at women. Self-hatred is a non-answer that, in the end, justifies bad behavior and reproduces toxic dynamics. One needs to learn from these instances and try to do better. The alternative is resentment.

 

youre all right and i thank you. this was a bad moment in a bad point in life and it was awful of me to do that.

ive learned a rough but important lesson from this. i need to just be alone for a while.

 

idk why but I was thinking about my one long term relationship and how it was crippled by mental issues.
Props to anyone who successfully maneuvers a relationship while dealing with depression, whether it's with themselves, their partner, or both. it's fucking hard.

 

@Dominick is so wise I just want him to guide me through life. Like a Dear @Dominick column or something

 

I told a girl bye because it seemed obvious that she wasn't interested and we started talking months ago, she responds with a "it wasn't a hint, I think I made it clear" and its like then why were you talking to me for months when it was obvious I was into you? You just wanted someone to casually message on okc who you were into? That's just weird. I get people who want to be friends but it didn't seem like she want that either, just someone to message while she was bored. Oh well, she was a giant yawn for someone who's "exciting" and goes to music festivals all the time. I didn't expect much but we hit it off at first and then it became apparent that she completely lost interest yet kept responding with short, boring answers that went nowhere so the experience overall was questionable.


I've noticed if a girl says she doesn't like being touched that generally means its not that she doesn't like being touched but she doesn't want you to touch her (I.e.: Do you like cuddling?). I guess I never noticed that as a thing. Its cool to now be aware of it and not look like a jackass as much now.


And no master Dominick, I didn't expect her to "have" to like me or sleep with me. Lol

 

..... That "massa Dominick" comment is hands down the weirdest thing I've seen on this site so far

 

Sorry, been watching too much revenge of the sith. Love jar jar binks. Enjoy the site, its not that weird.

 

Haha. Thanks!

Well, that's good. Glad you're learning something.

Suspect as fuck.

 

I really hope that's sarcasm... I'm not sure with you sometimes

 

50/50

 

I woke up today and re-read this several times to make it stick in my head. I appreciate you Dom. Thank you for calling me out on that. I needed it. I'm a massive hypocrite and I need to rectify that. So again, thank you sir.

 

I needed somewhere to talk about how great my relationship is without annoying everyone around me.
If sexual abuse and emotional abuse stuff is triggering for anyone here then maybe you should skip this. This is also really personal but I feel fine posting it here.

Backstory: I've been sexually abused and emotionally abused by multiple guys since I was a teenager. My first sexual and romantic relationships were totally abusive. When guys weren't straight up abusing me, they were pressuring me into sex when I didn't want to have it (which I've read is also a form of abuse). Sometimes sex (specifically penetrative) is physically painful for me and they wouldn't respect that. This made sex (all kinds of it) very anxiety-provoking for me.

Anyway, four years ago I met a guy who became one of my best friends. He always had other long-term relationships so I never considered dating him. Then his last girlfriend broke up with him in December, and I realized I was interested in him and there were signs he was interested in me too. I had to be the one to ask him if he wanted to date because he was very passive. We started dating three months ago. The first three months were really fun, but it was kind of weird because we never talked about sex (I didn't want to have it at the time, it just felt weird not talking about it), and he became less physically affectionate. I started feeling like maybe he wasn't happy with the lack of sex, and the idea of sex freaked me out, so I left him a little more than a week ago thinking it was the right thing to do. But I was miserable, and I realized how much I missed him, so I told him everything I was feeling and we got back together. He told me he was afraid he had made me uncomfortable so he stopped being as physically affectionate. We decided we'd be better at communicating this time around and now he asks if I'm comfortable instead of just guessing. He told me there is no pressure to have sex, he's fine with waiting until I'm ready if I ever am, and he's not unhappy without it. This made me trust him more, so I decided I was ready to have sex with him last night and I felt totally okay with it. He kept making sure I was comfortable with everything so that helped. He knows all about my trauma and he's just been super understanding, I didn't even expect him to understand why I left him for a week. He also knows I'm bipolar and that I've had substance abuse issues. He knew this before we started dating, so I kind of thought maybe he wouldn't date me, but he's been super understanding and supportive about that too. He's so nice to me in general, one of the nicest people I know and he's so interesting and we have plenty of things in common and we always have fun together. I actually feel a lot closer to him since we get back together, so I told him I loved him for the first time last night and he said it back and said he was planning on saying it soon anyway. After being abused sexually and emotionally by multiple guys, it's so great to be in a healthy relationship with someone who supports me and respects me. And it's nice to know I can have a healthy sex life despite everything that's happened to me. I'm just so happy with him. I'm so glad we got back together and I'm so glad I met him.

Also another thing that really gets to me is I met him the day after I got out of the psych ward. I was depressed because I was lonely and after meeting him I met a lot of my friends through him and my life instantly felt better, but he was the most important to me. I was in such a bad place and I don't know how long it would have lasted or what the results would have been if I hadn't met him and everyone else when I did. Of course they didn't make my depression go away forever, nobody can do that, but I'm much better off with him and my friends in my life.

I feel like I could go on and on, sorry this is so long.

 

Good read. We have a Mental Health thread if you ever feel the need: Mental Health Thread

 

It's when someone basically stops speaking to you to end things. Typically, it seems to be acceptable up to and including the first date or two, but it's a pretty crappy way to stop seeing someone if you've been seeing each other a bit.

Personally, I don't feel too bad doing it if a first date doesn't go well. After that though, I let people know if I don't want to continue.

 

i accidentally ghosted someone earlier this year, i intended on meeting up with her to end things but i kept having things come up that interfered and explain what happened till eventually it was too far gone for it to even make sense to do so. she just eventually stopped texting me to try and meet up. i feel bad about it still, its not how i would have wanted to finish that.

 

I don't think I've ever actually ghosted someone