(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 1197

I didn't want to go crazy in the thread because it is only week one

 

holt shit I just punted a date so bad. drunk rn. firs td date i've gona on since my wife ;eft me. i got drunk and talekd about her, fuck mee

 

I don't know why I'm surprised that's actually a thing... What It’s Like Writing Pickup Lines for the Rich Dudes Who Outsource Their Dating Profiles

That was also a depressing read to start my day haha

 

My brother was literally just making a joke the other week about how it’d be a funny skit to have something like a call center except they manage people’s dating apps - reading from a script that included unsolicited dick pics and all.

 

Imagine that...

"You're quite a lot different in person. Not quite as charming and well spoken. Your dick is also a lot smaller..."

 

" make sure your profile pic has your face in it and no fish"

 

Yea trying to find a rich guy on Grindr didn't pan out like I wanted to so maybe I can exploit them in this way. I manage to go on dates every week and I'm in no position to be dating in the first place. I'm just lonely and want ppl to hang and talk to lol

 

there is already this lame service that literally writes fake dating segments for radio and it is the worst.

 

i'm just trying to con rich finance bros into giving me a bunch of their stupid money

 

can you dress up like a bitcoin?

 

Lmao

 

My uncle was a bitcoin.

 

so you have bitcoin and chihuahua heritage

 

He was a bitcoin by marriage, but...i like to embrace that side of my heritage anyway.

 

wife and I met up last night to talk about finances. We divided them up. Single income, here I come. She gets the mattress but I get the dog so I definitely won that one

 

My boyfriend will be here in two weeks!!

 

look out for my new horror series based on this, “Tails from the Crypto”

 

Update on the girl I was seeing:
Turns out she is an ex-con, AND an alcoholic. So that's over.

 

what if she was cool though?

 

sounds like a keeper to me.

 

She wasn't? We spent Friday night / Saturday morning together. She had a brunch at 1 and ended up back in my neighborhood. She texted me non-stop from 7:30 to 10 asking to come over (she was clearly wasted, texts were barely comprehensible).

I kept saying no, because I wanted a chill night alone. Then she accused me of having someone else over. Like, nah, I'm just in my shorts playing Overwatch, leave me alone. I told her to go home and sober up. She apologized in the morning, but I'm not hitching my ride to that.

 

Sounds like my kind of mutually destructive relationship

 

yeah that's actually super romantic

 

Receives onslaught of red flag drunk texts in the evening: “Aw heck ya she’s into me”

 

Oh. What kinda crime was she into?