Mental Health Thread • Page 99

Last 24 hours been something else. Last night my computer shit out (had to drop a few stacks on a new one today). Had to be at work for 5am today and my car was frozen shut and broke the car handle off my door, blah. THOUGHT I broke my lock earlier on a break but luckily I fixed it. Went to work today and got chewed out for staying to 2 am (2 hours over shift) Monday night (which was the dawn of this not-so-crazy storm we got here in the North East so everyone was crazily running around and of course we got a ton of traffic. Like you REALLY think I wanted to be there 2 hours after closing esp leading into my day off??? lmao - we stayed to make it as manageable for you as possible despite the chaos. now "our DM is looking into what we did those 2 hours" and I'm like fuck, do it. my coworker is afraid they'll write us up, but I could give a shit less. we stayed over to help, write us up if you need to, ill write you off as asshole and not care lmao.
that said my bosses boss' henchmen came in and busted her ass back today so karma came quick today.

 

it's another night of my work being understaffed and me having to work by myself for 5 hours especially during that night time rush. Sigh forever.

 

I worked 55 hours last 'work' week and 70 hours overall before a day off, my manager always leaves before me before shifts we both end at the same time on. annoys me tbh. like..... this is YOURE STORE.... I get you have kids but tbh at this point as rude as this is gunna sound,.... fuck your kids, I have a family, girl, and tbh just things to do of my own. if we go in at the same time and end at the same time and you're pitching to me the importance of me being an example and youre higher position than me,..... why are you leaving before me and strapping me with what you wont do?

 

I don't know how to deal with stress in ways that don't make me spend money and/or put copious amounts of grease and/or sugar in my body

I don't even remember what it feels to be relaxed (have i ever known that feeling?) omggggg so many gray hairs are probs occuring

 

This is my Mom. She's functional when it comes to her own everyday shit but when it comes to perceiving the world she thinks everything is tied to her somehow and people and the world is watching her/out to get her. The will complain but not fix is even more fitting been watching the same since I was 4-5 years old lol.

 

The past three days have been fine in terms of life events but ducking abysmal in terms of mental health. I don't know what's going on but it's kind of scaring me. Sigh.

 

Schizophrenia is super hard to diagnose. Unless she hurts herself or others you can't force her to get help. There are 5150s but she has to be a threat to herself and others before they'll even bring in Psych. I've worked with a couple patients one with no meds and one who takes meds but missed his appt to get a scrip refill. Schizophrenia is a really tough one.

 

I would like to spend time with every one of you

 

Every mental health seminar I've sat in on said basically the same thing about Schizophrenia. Doctors don't know the cause. It's most likely genetics and then environmental triggers that bring it to the forefront. That's not all cases and it's extremely unpredictable. There are different symptoms like the patient who wasn't on meds stared at the tv monitor in the exam room which was off and was despondent but then he would look at me say something random then go back to staring. I think the tin hat crazy schizo portrayed on tv has everyone assuming all schizo is like that. I'm not a doc I just observe lol

 

Seriously when I'm not using/spending all my money on drugs to make myself feel better I fill that void by buying myself shit I definitely don't need. I've spent like three hundred bucks this week on shirts and vinyl and random shit for the apartment like I bought a big thing of body lotion that I haven't even used yet because ????? Also I've eaten out or ordered delivery almost every night this week

 

I do that too, buy stuff I don't need. It's better these days, but whatever the buying thing does to my brain I bet it lights up similarly when I drink alcohol. There has to be some overlap with the gratification or whatever.

 

I was constantly told by my counselor in my first go in rehab that the problem with addicts is we crave instant gratification. Extremely true in my case.

 

lol yeah it does not compute when ppl have actual healthy ways of coping like exercising or meditation or something. I wish! The worst is when I'm stressed and instantly crave junk food but it doesn't even sound good, yet my brain is like you must dooooo it.

 

I feel like every single thing you should never say to someone who has depression my mom has said to me today and it's only 10 a.m. I'm so sick of everyone making me feel like a lazy sack of shit who is just a burden on everyone. They have no idea what it's like to have to deal with this shit every single day. And saying BS like "if you just thought more positively things would be better" or "why don't you just change it?" IS NOT FUCKING HELPFUL!!! I try to tell her all the time that that isn't how it fucking works and it makes me feel worse and yet she just keeps repeating the same hurtful unhelpful things over and over. Just stop!!

 

I don't know if this will be useful or helpful to you, but this is a quote that I find really illustrates how hard living with depression can be. I often have trouble putting this stuff into words - especially when trying to explain it to someone who has never dealt with depression or a similar mental illness - so I always save good quotes I come across.

 

Been through the same exact thing but with my friends. "Just change your mentality". If it was that easy it wouldn't be a problem.

 

I'm getting stress/anxiety migraines.

I think I finally figured out that this is the trigger.

Idk what to do about it.

 

I am absolute shit with my words and feel like when I try and explain things it just makes everything even more confusing for everyone so this was awesome and really helpful! Thank you

 

I also enjoy this video on depression, as well. I come back to it like once a year.

 

I have had a constant dull pressure in and around the left side of my chest and it's been there since last Wednesday night and it's freaking me out. I went to the doctor over the weekend and got an EKG and they said everything looks normal and they prescribed me a few day's worth of Lorezapam (sp?) because they said it might just be anxiety. I took it for a few days and felt better but ran out yesterday. Lo and behold, the feeling returned again this morning.

Anyone experience this kind of feeling? I'm kind of freaking out.

 

im struggling so hard not to snack on bad shit and eat like 5 meals a day rn because i lost a lot of weight in my relapse and detox and while the reason i lost the weight sucks, i was a good 15 pounds overweight and need to keep myself where im at right now. but...im so hungry all the time cuz my brain needs more dopamine....and i crave soda or sweet drinks constantly....ughhhh

 

i have but only when messing with stimulants, mainly coke. its always just been anxiety for me and when i come down i even out. never had it not because of drugs but if your EKG was good its probably stress/anxiety. give it a week or two and if its still bad get a second opinion id say

 

re: craving junk food, i'm not sure if this will also help y'all but finding a rewarding but low-stakes game and just playing it for hours on end until my brain rewires itself for high scores sort of does the same thing as junk food for me.

on an unrelated note, i'm currently unemployed (since like mid feb tbh) and just mooching off my parents and i feel like a loser for not having a thing to go to every day and feel like everyone i know is laughing at me

 

@Kiana I feel you so hard on the food struggle

It's a real problem. I feel so out of control with it. :(

 

It's ok to not be ok, as long as you keep going. Trust that those around you can be supportive if allowed to be, and although it's hard to go through these struggles, they're never too deep to get out of. Just keep going. Some people feel like a burden to those around them, and in my experience, with my family (which includes a lot of shit heads) there's never a degrading word about someone who is struggling, and if there is, leave them out of your life completely. There will be no void and that negativity can be filled with positivity, but to get there is a choice. Best of luck, just keep going.