Mental Health Thread • Page 98

I listen to a bunch of shit when I'm down. Real aggressive street rap gets my motivation going. Sad emo music allows me to wallow a bit which can be nice. Extreme metal gets some of my inner rage out. All good stuff

 

This is my Jazz playlist that really relaxes me when I need it.

 

Two very important songs for me:

"I don't want to die today, I want to live and love and write it down"

"I wanna dance in the open breeze
Feel the wind in my hair, hear the ocean sing
I got good things to feel in my life"

Both songs about saying no to death

 

I called for a referral to a therapist from my company EAP this weekend. I still haven't gotten a call back, but I'm hoping they get back to me soon. Or I might call tonight again.

I'm starting to binge on candy and junk food. It's bad.

 

And by starting, I mean I've been doing it for like a month or so now

 

I guess this one's pretty on the nose, but

survival never goes out of style

 

Have my first appointment with a therapist this Friday. It feels kind of weird cause I've been in a pretty good place for the past few weeks, but it should be good in the long run.

 

Love The Graduate. A band that never had even an ounce of success that they deserved. That whole record is fantastic, and that song in particular is a favorite of mine as well. Good choice.

 

Man that album really saved me in high school.

 

the graduate were one of my fav bands back when they were around. glad i got to see one of their final four shows

 

I have an extremely rare neurological disorder called essential palatal myoclonus. Essentially (heh), there are a set of muscles back behind my uvula that are inflamed indefinitely. The muscles constrain and contract themselves causing a strong sensation of pressure in the middle of my head that I can do little about. My soft palate moves on its own 24/7 and makes a loud clicking sound when I open my mouth or am resting. This is my seventh year with the disease and recently I feel I am losing my mind over it.

 

I been super frustrated with work and it's stupid shit and how they make me compensate for it and my girl is doing a "tell me how i am" thing (not in a bad way) pointing out how I have a "Devil may care attitude" and "Nonchalant Josh is always only a distance away when you're forced into situations you don't fuck with. You may do something once or twice but you let it be knowing you ain't with it, but once Nonchalant Josh pokes his head in it's over." Saying "I try to think I'm nonchalant, but not like you. Outside me and your family.... i know you don't really give a shit about much. Even when you care you still are like "Eh, I don't give a fuck," then you kinda close up on shit and really distance yourself."
Kinda was a pin point description of where I'm drawing my source of frustration with work from at least from a personal angle internally. Their incompetence and bullshit being the spark.

I'm just tired of compensating from every angle in my life. Be it family toxicites. Relationship bumps and bruises. Work literally at every turn doing me wrong then expecting me to "be tested" for what they did wrong themselves. Not to mention you're technically overworking me (no breaks, first day off in awhile, and 20 hours over the limit im allowed to work weekly) atm as well so no time for anything atm. I'm just really fucking tired of the nonsense.

 

I want a Reese's cup.

 

This is bad.

 

My go-to move lately appears to be to forget to eat dinner. I'll remember to eat breakfast in the morning because it's a routine habit in my get-ready-and-go-to-work mode, and then I usually eat a lunch when at work. And then I come home and don't have the desire to eat again.

 

I have the unhealthiest eating habits, I'll go days without eating, go days with nothing but cups of tea/milk, days i'll eat a bit more cus I've smoked or get togethers with fam, my girl, or friends. im starting to see my body show me how unhappy it is im doing this but i dont really have a intention of it so im never really thinking "hey lets not eat today" or whatever.

 

I wish I could be motivated in at least one aspect of life

 

Day 8 of this spell. *sigh*

 

Going to a therapist for the first time Monday. I have no idea what to expect.

 

Sorry to hear you're struggling, but you'll get through it! *hug*

 

Things are.....stressful. I'm actually legitimately job hunting for ANYTHING even shitty part time food shit and I've had no bites. I've called this outpatient rehab place every day this week with no one answering or returning my calls. My legs are still buzzing because my brains dopamine levels aren't back to normal, my anxiety is through the fucking roof, I'm pretty sure I was having heart palpitations when I was trying to nap earlier because I was so worked up. Day 19 sober and shit is just not feeling good. I think I know what it is. The first time I got sober the prospect of recovering was new and exciting, I had a lot to look forward to and everything fell into place pretty easily. This time? There's no glamour. Truth is, sobriety fucking sucks. But it's better than being dead or living like a zombie. I just managed to avoid most of the worst of post acute withdrawal last time but now the PAWS is hitting hard. Fuck

 

every time I hear this song I think of my brother and the baby he gave up for adoption. parents stopped sending him pictures too and refuse to stay in touch. kills me.

 

hang in there man, I believe in you.

 

I lurk this thread mainly for my wife...she's having a rough time and is now pregnant with our 4th. A girl after 3 boys, and the anxiety for some reason is at an all time high with the thought of labor (and the other 3 couldn't have gone any better). Reading through this thread from time to time has helped not only in my approach, but also my understanding. Gave me the courage to bring up treatment, which we had never talked about before, and it was discovered she had a severe iron deficiency and was prescribed tablets, which she can't swallow. We've been successful in supplementing with a spinach omelet with an extra yolk every day along with vitamin C , and she's been closer to herself than ever over the past couple weeks. Starting to buy baby clothes and is calling the baby by name for the first time (we're in the 3rd trimester) and is starting to get excited again.

Your stories, and struggles have helped us immensely, and none of you never knew, so thank you :).

 

I remember not hearing back from people at college and that felt like no one had my back, can't imagine what you're going through, but your chorus friends have your back. So just don't give up, and keep pushing on man. I hope things will start to get better for you soon.