Mental Health Thread • Page 54

Pretty scared about what's going to happen on Tuesday. Seeing my doc and letting her know that Prozac is giving me headaches even though it's helping me feel better. My fear is that I won't be able to find a med that doesn't make me feel dead inside (I definitely still feel emotions with this) and doesn't give me headaches while helping me feel normal and actually sleep. Life is hard.

*hug* You're awesome.

 

My uncle passed a couple months ago and I felt like such an asshole bc everyone was crying and I wasn't but yeah, I don't really feel anything sometimes.

 

I didn't cry when my grandma passed almost three years ago. Honestly, I didn't feel much of anything about it until I had a random urge to visit her grave a couple of months ago and I had a small breakdown, but I haven't felt much since.

 

I find sometimes I can intellectualize that something is sad but not actually feel it, I'm a robot monster, but not as cool as an actual robot monster sounds

 

Thank you
I actually legit have a headache right now -_-

 

My therapist said "Would you rather be out of control or numb?" I couldn't answer the question.

 

Yup didn't feel much of anything when both of my grandfathers died this year.

 

Today I started thinking about how angry and mean my lil sis is, and how I think I contributed to it. When my parents were divorcing I had to watch her constantly cause they both worked and my mom would go out and party so I was taking care of her almost all the time. I was very depressed and going through my own things and I was too emotionally and mentally unstable to be looking after anyone that much. She would scream, pull hair, bite, scratch, and insult me and we'd get in these physical fights. I don't think it was all me cause my parents should've been doing more and stepping up cause I was too young, but I do think I was old enough to handle it better? Sometimes I hope my sis doesn't remember that time because it was so dark and I'm not that person at all anymore. But she's still so angry inside that I can't help but think it's still impacting her and I'm partly to blame. I always feel guilty over it.

 

This week is going to be super rough. My ex and I are finally moving out of the apartment we've shared although separately for the past 6 months. Most of those 6 months were terrible and we barely spoke but of course as it's nearing the end we've been getting along better and she's put more effort forward than she has in a long time. I know it doesn't mean anything and it is probably just her feeling guilty but it hurts. I don't want to live alone.

 

Yeah... I'm not sure what my answer is to that either. That's a tough one.

 

Numb, I pick numb. At least for today.

 

I don't think my life will really start until I move away from here. It's such a dead end. While I live here I don't think I'll ever find a job I truly feel passionate about, I don't think I'll ever meet anyone friend-wise or partners, and I don't think I'll be truly happy. The longer I stay here the more of my life I waste, but I also do like my job and my coworkers and my family and it's scary to take that plunge alone. I know I have to do it, but idk if I'll ever feel ready. I'm trying to build up my resume as much as possible and be sure I like what I do before I move and get stuck in it, but idk it's all scary. The thought of my nephew growing up barely knowing me kills me because we're finally getting close, but I know I can't let that keep me here. idek.


edit: I should form a pop punk band

 

I just woke up to the news that my parents are getting divorced, and I can't help but feel likes I'm responsible because of the state I've been in for the last few years.
If i didn't have my friends I don't know what I would do, I really don't and I'm so scared, I'm trying to get better but all I can do is hold myself together and it just hasn't been good enough, and I wish I was someone else so bad. I've been having trouble just leaving my home now, and now with this news it's just too much I'm glad I see my counsellor in a few days and have a brief thing with a psychologist who's going to open my file again but I'm worried it'll just bring things up and I'm really scared.

I don't know what to do, I'm just rambling
Everything's my fault, I need to talk to my friends but I don't like opening up because they have their own issues and I hear about all the horrible things going on in my family and in the world and it makes me feel so selfish


I just want everyone to be happy but I can't even make myself happy. I see good people here struggling so much worse and I wish I could give them something that would make it better but I have nothing to give I just take I take people's time.
It was easier when I was still in school because I could just go home after and play video games but I don't want to be anywhere now.

I have to try harder now and never isolate myself from friends and professionals. Now more than ever I can't give up... :/

 

It sounds like you're going through a lot and I'm sorry I can't address all of it but I just wanted you to know that wanting yourself to be happy and taking steps to get there, including by asking for help from other people, doesn't make you selfish.

 

I usually start feeling the effects of SAD by the end of September, but going to the gym every morning has helped tremendously. Just trying to keep my focus.

 

I realllllyyyyy need to start working out. Even going for a walk every day will be better than what I do now: nothing.

 

Amen to that

I am a lazy mofo

 

Today's world mental health day

 

Even just walking gets your serotonin up.

TRIGGER WARNING

Beyond Ending the Stigma: Radical Compassion for Suicide Prevention | World of Psychology

 

All I can think of

 

I was working out quite a bit before I moved into my apartment. Haven't done shit since.

 

I used to work out when I drank

I was such a productive drunk

 

I jog every day but still feel like shit so go me!

 

I told myself I get a gym membership once I got a job.

It's been 10 months later since I got my job and still no membership.

 

I got a membership in January and I've been four times.

It's $40/mo.

I hate myself.