Mental Health Thread • Page 5

Thanks. Just a very stressful day for me between work and the custody situation

 

The second factor alone is reason enough to curl up and relax. Really hoping that all comes together for you here soon, bud.

 

I hope so. I guess it'll be over within a few months either way

If you know where I can find a large sum of money, though, let me know

 

So I've come to the conclusion that I'm more than likely bipolar and I need to see a doctor. I can't deal with these emotional highs and lows anymore.

 

i spent most of the day warding of nausea but i legitimately am not sure how much of it was anxiety from the first day on the job vs. warding off this stomach bug i've been sitting on since yesterday :|

 

My mom is like hyper-vigilant about my diet and it's weird. She bragged to a near stranger how I'm cutting down on soda and I had no idea where she got that from until I realized it's cause we went to In N Out and I got a strawberry lemonade. Which, I drink strawberry lemonade often so idk what she's talking about, but it makes me uncomfy that she observes things like that and then makes assumptions about my diet, and then I guess talks about it with randos. I feel like she's so black and white. Either she thinks I eat like garbage, or she sees me eating salad or something and assumes I'm making some big life change. It can't be that I just feel like eating salad. Sometimes I eat healthy foods and sometimes I eat unhealthy foods, wiiiild. She's so damaging to be around.

 

I wish I could just function like a normal person. This was supposed to be the year I finally graduate but I'm failing both classes I'm in. I've known for about two weeks that I can't graduate but I haven't told my parents yet. The longer I wait, the harder it feels. It's extra shitty because one of my brothers is also graduating this year and our grandparents who live on the opposite end of the country are coming to visit and to see us both graduate. My mom has been really supportive any time I open up about my depression but I can't help but feel she'll be disappointed when I finally tell her. Fuck I start crying every time I think about it.

 

Disappointment is natural but I'm sure she would want you to graduate however you can. Don't let fear discourage you for talking to her, it's better to tell the truth when you can then having it be found out the hard way.

 

@mad To add to what Anthony said, telling your parents is almost never as bad as you build it up to be in your head. Most parents prefer for their kids to be ok rather than have a degree. You're more important than a degree.

 

My depression is pretty active at the moment. I'm doing my best to deal with it. I think it is due to my partner and I having troubles, resulting in discussions as to whether or not we would like to continue on with the engagement.

 

Well I told my mom about me not graduating and it went pretty much perfectly. I feel so much better not having to lie about it anymore.

 

We've got a good group here atm so reach out if you need to. I'm sorry about your circumstances. It's hard enough dealing with those problems even w/o depression.

I'm so happy for you!

 

Thanks girl

 

I'm starting to worry I'm falling back into my old eating disorders, it's really disheartening because I worked so hard to get better.

 

:((( do you see an advisor/mentor something for it? relapse can happen to the best of any addict, what's important is you can surround yourself with people who can advise you

 

No I don't, I sweared off people like that after multiple therapists failed to help me and often made things worse in my opinion. I have a good support system with my friends and family and they've been a big help in me initially recovering. The root of the problem stems from being alone relationship wise and worrying about my appearance, something I've been fighting since I was a child.

 

For the past couple weeks, I have been struggling with how I feel about the way I look. I'll feel ok one day and then the next day I feel like I'm hideous and can't even look at myself in the mirror. I've been trying really hard to just love myself and forget about other people and their opinions. It's so damn hard and tiring. Such is life I guess.

 

I honestly can't deal with it sometimes. I saw a former teacher today that used to ridicule me by calling me "Emo" because of how I looked, I cannot tell you how long it took me to get over that. I had all kinds of dread go over me when I saw him.

 

On the flip side, it was that to which made me ridicule others for how they looked. It was a defense mechanism I had and fuck, I really regret all the times on AP I used to do that to people. I was such a horrible person to do that, I hate myself for doing it. I apologized to ChelseaRanie (I know I got the name wrong) some time back for belittling her like that. I did it because I knew that was fucked up and I just couldn't go through life any further at that point without apologizing. I also apologized to a childhood friend, whom is obese and gay, for mocking his weight. I told him I fucked up and I regretted my actions, I'm so thankful he was able to forgive me and accept my apology. I didn't deserve that.

 

Everyone acts like a shithead at some point. It's cool that you apologized bc not everyone would have. I did it for a while in my early 20's. My mom is really hard on me about my appearance. I used to talk so much shit about other people in high school and I had some extremely toxic friends. I'm just glad I recognized that putting others down does nothing but make people hurt.

 

It's just so hard to acknowledge that. I did a truly fucked up thing to a number of people and it's so hard to let go of that knowing that I myself pick at myself every day and get panicky when I feel like I don't look presentable. I honestly don't even love myself, I never have. Fuck, I am letting too much out in here.

 

In the midst of a giant panic attack, with no idea what has triggered it. Time to load up on Valium and hide until this blows over.
Hadn't had one for months, forgot how bad they can be.

 

i appreciate that you're willing to admit and apologize, i wish more people would. all we can do is learn and grow. i do my best to as well. (heh, i'm probably irritating people every day here for all i know.)

hugs x10

 

I guess this is the place for this. My lawyer scheduled a deposition for my daughter's mom tomorrow and just let me know I need to be there. I'm so anxious over it.

 

I'll join this thread. As someone who is diagnosed with OCD, Anxiety, and Panic Attacks, mental health interests me a lot. And maybe I'll learn something new, or some new ways to try coping on this thread. :) I took 200mg of Zoloft all of last year until Thanksgiving and have been off since. Feeling weird these days.