Mental Health Thread • Page 480

Feeling down with no one to talk to.

 

It’s already fucking happening, my disability assistance started coming in even before the month started since the start of 2021 & it hasn’t come yet. Under the orange one, it would come two weeks late.

I fucking hate this shit. Getting what hardly is enough to live off of & they make it even more of a nightmare.

 

Last year I was eating grapes under the table. A few months later I met the man of my dreams (literally). Right before the holidays he broke my heart blindsiding me. This year I’m ending it lonely and depressed.

 

the honeymoon period of parenthood is already wearing off. i love my son so fucking much and would do anything for him, but when he’s cluster feeding and slamming down 2 oz of milk every 30-60 minutes and freaks out when he doesn’t get it immediately, it’s frustrating. i know it will get better and the newborn period goes really quickly but between the massive adjustment to our sleep and the stress of trying to soothe our baby, shit feels rough from time to time.

 

How old is he now?

 

Some people love it but I do not miss the infant stage at all. The pictures make it look like it was all cute but it’s too recent, I still know better

 

just a week old today. i honestly feel bad for even feeling frustrated since he’s so little and it’s not like he’s doing it on purpose. honestly overall the transition to parenthood has been going as well as i could have imagined, it’s just wild to go from 0 to 100, you know? like within moments we went from being able to do what we want when we want to our schedule entirely being dictated by him.

 

Oh absolutely, the adjustment is super hard. You’re in the thick of it buts it’s going to get so much better and easier

 

I definitely had a 'what have we done' moment when my son was about a week old. If it makes you feel better, I barely remember that time now.

 

thanks yall, that’s encouraging. he’s amazing, i’m just notoriously bad at change and transitions so this one is a doozy, lmao.

 

Went to be early only to not sleep and me bawling my eyes out ugly crying. This heartbreak is so painful.

 

I am terrified at how I am going to afford to continue living in MA, but I am otherwise numb to the dissolution of my eight year relationship. I am scared for my ex for a number of reasons, but so far I have managed to suppress those feelings as they arise and accept that everything is now out my hands.

I hate the idea of being single at 35 because I consider myself old, ugly, uninteresting, and stupid, but there is a small amount of hope there, too: hope to become my own person again, hope to find confidence and self esteem that was severely chipped away at the past several years, especially the last four.

I don’t want to say anything negative on the internet about my ex, but things really took a turn in 2020 and I have not felt loved, liked, or respected since, and these feelings were often confirmed by her, sometimes cruelly. I am looking forward to no more nights in bed, frozen in fear that I was stuck in something unhealthy, abnormal; that I was too weak to make change happen even though that is the truth. I am looking forward to focusing on myself again, and having a life. I do know I’m going to feel deep regret over this relationship lasting as long as it did, and it’s going to be incredibly hard to shake that off, but I will try my best.

One thing that always happens to me in relationships is that I basically cease to exist outside of them. I let friendships languish, I stop doing anything on my own even when there’s something I really want to do, and now it feels like I have a lot of rebuilding to do. Which, in a way, feels empowering.

 

You're definitely hitting close to home here. I feel similarly in most ways you just highlighted. I kind of lost all of my friendships during my relationship. I gotta start mending fences and going on an apology tour with old friends. But, definitely scary to do and I keep procrastinating heh.

 

You just gotta reach out from my experience, people who care will listen. I will say too though that you have to accept those who don’t want to reconnect, it sucks and it definitely hurts your feelings when it happens but I promise it gets better after you acknowledge it and move on. Understand too that if someone doesn’t wanna to talk and they don’t elaborate why, then it’s not your problem.

 

Thanks. That helps. I feel so shitty, I don't even know if two of my buddies are still roommates anymore and they live 15-20 minutes up the road. I used to live with them for two years during college and remained friends for years after we graduated! What's wrong with me?

 

Nothings wrong with you, honestly a lot of getting older is the friend circle shrinks. Lots of people (the majority) struggle to balance a relationship/friendship/work/life responsibilities/fun. It’s tough. I try to remind myself that for the most part, people are high-strung, with lots on their plate so coming back to them with a a hey sorry for disappearing but I’d like to reconnect in this friendship they’re usually understanding. And if they’re not, they weren’t long-term friends in the first place, imo

 

It's just wild, my sister and her fiance invited me to New Year's at their friend's place and there were like 12 people all super close in relationships with jobs and I'm envious of how they have all maintained that lol. They regularly go on ski trips and airbnb together, I don't know how they balance it

 

Beats the fuck out of me. Best I’m able to do most days is send an instagram dm to my friends lol

 

I feel ya, it's hard to even grocery shop after a day of work

 

I had a close group of friends especially 2018-2019 but during the pandemic we all kinda went our own ways so now the only people I see are my fiancée and 2 bandmates. I miss my old social life tbh

 

Here I am crying myself to sleep again

 

I don’t want to be here anymore.

 

I'm sorry, friend. I've been there. It won't change your mind, but you should know how many of us are happy that you are here. Wishing you the absolute best.