Mental Health Thread • Page 479

The fact that my biggest fear has came true. I always felt like it wasn’t in the cards for me. It really sucks. I’ll never find love or happiness. I hate this life

 

How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? Have you seen a therapist?

 

I’m 34 and yes I’m in therapy

 

My ex moved out and I put up my mediocre tree for the first time in like 2 years. Feeling pretty good and relieved about it all. Still have lots of cleaning to do, but at least I now have more storage space with her moved out

Also had a good, productive day. Got up at 8:30 to get some work done on my car that I kept procrastinating on, did a grocery shop, and was home by lunch, and then hung at my mom's for a few hours and had dinner with her so I could get out of my ex and her dad's way. Hope this is the start of some growth for me. Next step is to find a therapist

 

@RyanPm40 congrats man

 

@RyanPm40 did you open her car door for her ?



very happy to see you’re moving on. Hope you have a good evening

 

Just hit 30+ days clean again. Came to Baltimore to watch some football (go WSH) and check out the Xmas market; got mad lucky with this room upgrade.

 

My girlfriend of eight years, by far the longest relationship I’ve ever had, asked me to move out a couple nights ago. I have no idea how to make that happen and I’d rather die than have to move in with roommates. Really excited to still do family Christmas with her tomorrow and act like everything’s cool; fun times over here.

 

I guess I'm only allowed to experience fleeting moments of happiness or whatever approximates before everything collapses back into shit and i'm back where i started, no matter how hard i try.

 

I'm really, really sorry to hear this friend. Regardless of where I am now, I went through something very similar (twice) right down to it being around the holidays. Pro-tip: right now is a time for self-preservation. You by know means have to do family Christmas together and act like everything is cool. I still remember how hard that was. Just focus on taking care of yourself, bud

 

Thanks dude

 

Being single during the holidays hurts.
Being single in your 30s and during the holidays hurts more.
Being single in your 30s, during the holidays, and had your heart broken right before them hurts so fucking much bc you thought you were going to spend them with someone special, but instead you’re alone with an aching heart.

 

I think I'm getting worse. Therapy and meditation isn't enough. I need to change more. I'm lost. I don't know what to do.

 

My new years resolution is as soon as I have reliable health Insurance I am finally going to go through the official autism diagnosis process.

I am 36 and I figured out on my own I was on the spectrum since I was around 20. I don't need a diagnosis but it would be nice to have it on paper for potential benefits.

 

I hope that works out well for you! It's always a relief to have an explanation for things for me, anyways

 

I am considering doing the same. I’m pretty sure I’m on the spectrum somewhere and I don’t need a diagnosis but would really be reassuring. I hope you get it! I just keep procrastinating starting the process.

 

I learned to just stop caring about what people think of me and stop caring about people who don’t care about me. Like if I’m gonna reach out to you and you’re not gonna bother to text back than fuck it, I’ll go find people who will and you can just deal with that.

 

Holy fuck

Depression strikes back

 

It's weird having no one to talk to tbh

 

I understand this but am very much on the other end of the equation. I'm so thankful for friends that understand life is insane and challenging and don't get offended if I go a few days without responding to a text or something.

 

It really, really sucks. I'm sorry.

 

So last week I had a big surgery I had been working toward for so long in my transition and it went well. Except everything turned to shit in the last two days at the hospital, more particularly the care of lack thereof that happened suddenly. Understaffing due to Xmas is to blame, maybe, I don’t know, but it was rough and there was one moment in particular I was in so much pain I started thinking about death, as a what if. My mind had never went there in that context and I think it left a scar on me because I came back home in a traumatized state.

That was on Thursday afternoon. That same night, I started feeling something odd I initially wrote off as a panic attack, but I wasn’t so sure because it physically felt different, and new. It went away but came back yesterday and this time, it just kept going on for hours and hours. At some point I was sobbing, something I very rarely do, because I had no idea what was happening. I thought I was going to die and I was just terrified. I ended up calling an ambulance and stayed in the urgent care all night up until early afternoon. Every test came up fine but I did end up with meds to take and doctors to call if medication doesn’t help. I hope it will work out from now on.

I don’t know how to process this yet, because so much happened in so little time. The thing is I literally feel like a different person compared to even just before that massive health scare.

Since I came back home again, I’m talking to my relatives differently, like I’m much more open and warmer too. I realized so many things about myself. It has truly been a huge waking up call. It’s like I feel shame for once caring so much about trivial things. That I also took so much for granted, such as the love my family has for me. That I’ve been a failure for not often being able to give that love back due to my lifelong struggles with showing emotions. That things like a random bad memory from school or the resentment I felt towards someone from the past, all that stuff doesn’t matter to me anymore as well. It’s so weird.

My therapist had already strongly suggested I book a teleconsultation with her in case I needed one after the surgery, but now I have double the reason to do so. I hope I can see her as soon as possible.

I don’t know what direction my life will take from this point forward as I’m focusing on the post-op recovery first and foremost, but I do feel like I’m entering uncharted territory.

 

That's a lot. I'm not sure what to say other than I can't imagine how scary that is, but I'm glad you seem to be on a path to wellness now and I'm also glad you sound like you have a great support system during this huge change. Uncharted territory is often scary, but it sounds like it could also be a very positive emotional change in the long run. We're also here anytime you need us!

 

Oh honey but these are not people I’m taking about. These are people I tried to reach out to and establish a connection with. If they’re gonna treat me like that after caring more about them than they me, what did I really lose here?

 

Just wanted to say thank you to the folks who have reached out to me when I've needed to hear kind words. I tend to just spew random statements in threads and dip without making meaningful relationships. So. I appreciate everyone in here. Happy New Year to everybody