Mental Health Thread • Page 409

I tried on a dress I've never worn because I was saving it for something special but when I went to wear it, it didn't fit anymore. I avoided a spiral and am trying to convince myself it's cause my arms have gotten more muscular because that's the only part that didn't fit, the shoulders/arms area. Hard not to feel defeated tho

 

It’s frustrating when you go to vent to friends about your struggles and it’s clear they just don’t get it. It feels like a wasted effort and you just don’t bother anymore. You tell them you’re fine because they wouldn’t understand anyway. It’s just one less place to turn to in struggles

 

I’ve been horribly sick the last few days and the shit it’s doing to my mental health is downright scary man. Like I’ve been doing very well lately, I rarely ever get cravings anymore and when I do they pass, and generally I’ve been very happy with where my life is at right now and where it’s headed. Now it feels like some kind of switch was flipped in my brain yesterday because I have been craving opiates hardcore in a way I haven’t in a LONG time, I generally feel like my world is dark and depressing, I feel lonely and unhappy and unfulfilled and I keep having insane fever dreams that shake me to my very core for one reason or another. Idk man I hope it’ll all just pass once I’m not sick anymore but I’m starting to get scared I’m gonna snap and start doing some classic “drug seeking behavior” (aka driving to the bad part of town and looking for people who might sell drugs) before this blows over


It doesn’t help that being sick has made me unable to partake in any of my usual coping mechanisms. Video games take too much focus, music is too loud and distracting, tv and movies and books are hard to follow and concentrate on, I’m too weak to go outside, basically all I can do is waste away in bed and endlessly scroll. It’s no wonder my mind is wandering to bad places since it’s the same exact situation detox always put me in

 

@Shakriel @sophos34 I admire you both and see you! Both of your struggles sound hard and know you’re not going through them alone. We’re all here for you

 

Totally get the “can’t play video games when sick” feeling though. Get mad/jealous when people say stuff like they have the flu so they get to take out their backlog of games. I definitely can’t game when I’m sick.

 

I can seemingly do nothing while sick. I’ll try to keep up with some household items so my apartment isn’t a disaster once I’m better, but hell, just standing at the sink trying to wash a few dishes requires all of my attention and focus and I’m worn out before I even finish the small task.

I always try to remember how that feels because it’s crazy how down and out you can be and then when healthy you’re multitasking 65 different things like it’s nothing, so I try to appreciate all the things I’m capable of when healthy even if they are just basic things like dishes, throwing in laundry, vacuuming, making a sandwich, etc.

 

we’re all here to give you digital company

 

I’m feeling better but the fever dreams are still getting to me

 

Sometimes I feel like my fiancé is the only person who truly cares about me. At least she’s the only one who genuinely makes an effort. I constantly feel like I’m getting reminders of how unlovable I am and she’s, for some reason, the exception to the rule.

 

Being trapped in my mind. I don’t know how to explain it. I have bad anxiety that my dr won’t do anything for so I suffer. I also believe I have adhd but I need a psych to diagnose that but can’t get one. I also feel like I might be bipolar. I can’t get my mind to relax half the time or more. I can’t be productive because it takes every ounce of energy to do so. I just want to feel normal

 

Can you try another doctor?

 

Have you tried a psych nurse practitioner? They tend to be easier to get in with vs a psychiatrist based on my own experience

 

I’ve thought about switching my pcp because I feel like he doesn’t do much for me.

not sure how I can see one where I’m at. Plus where I go is awful anyway and didn’t do anything for me last time, so I rather pay out of pocket somewhere else. I just don’t have the money atm.

 

Don't usually post like this but several seemingly minor incidents today have absolutely broken me. I am the most incompetent piece of dog shit on the planet. Just dumb as hell, ugly to boot, bad husband, bad son, bad brother, bad friend, and as much as they don't know it or would likely claim otherwise, I know their lives would be easier if I wasn't around. I only bring additional stress and strain into people's lives. Being alive is hard.

 

That’s your brain lying to you. You’re loved.

 

@Aaron Mook .. obviously we’ve never met in person, but you’re an absolute gem. I’ve been too busy to post lately, but i legitimately log on to see what you’re saying about film. I WISH I could articulate my thoughts the way you do. You’re incredibly kind and welcoming to all those who engage on this site and you’re a fantastic mod. You have the ability to navigate and deescalate extremely difficult conversations in a way that I haven’t seen. It sounds like you’re in a tough spot, but man you’re cool as fuck and you’ve got worth.

 

Dude, I don’t know you well but you’ve given me words of encouragement when I’ve been down. You’re a good dude.

 

Just want to second this because @Aaron Mook is one of my favorite people on this site!

 

You are all such wonderful people, the friends I've made and discussions I have on this website give me a reason to keep going. I apologize for my moment of weakness and appreciate all of your kind words, they truly meant the world at a time when I needed them most. Taking the next couple of days off work to get my brain right. Things could always be worse, I'll be okay love you all.

 

Never apologize that’s what this thread is here for we love you

 

I fucking hate this body I've been given. All my mental and physical issues are just cascading and ruining me.

I don't want to be an asshole, I want to be happy again. I don't want to be in pain, or scared or anxious. I'm so, so, so miserable and every time I make another step forward I feel like I'm just punched in the stomach.

I feel like so many people don't understand how difficult it really is to live with this kind of mind. A mind that ultimately is working against your wants and needs, every single day. It's horrible. I feel completely hopeless.

 

As someone that suffers from chronic illness and anxiety/mental health issues, I feel every word of this.

 

I just legitimately don't know what to do. I feel like a failure. And I don't want to be lazy, I just feel broken and exhausted fighting everything all the time.

 

Amen.

 

Yep I definitely identify with that too. Wish I had a solution, it's definitely hard