Mental Health Thread • Page 406

My wife is leaving me and I’m so fucking sad and numb. I could have prevented all this but I’m so fucking mentally ill right now.

 

I’m sorry, dude. I can’t imagine being in that situation. I know we’re just people online, but we’re here for ya.

 

Anyone have experience taking Straterra?

I brought up maybe taking something for my ADHD at my last psychiatrist appointment, but I didn’t want a stimulant because I took adderall before and I didn’t like it. They gave me straterra. We’ll see…

 

I’m really sorry, PM if you need to

 

I'm so fucking sorry man. I've been there, even if it was before we were technically married. I know how difficult it is. We've talked before, please feel free to hit me up on Twitter, Discord, here... wherever. Always happy to listen.

 

I got t-boned in 2019 and have only driven twice since. I have constant recurring dreams (I'd say four times a week) where something hit me or I'm just about to crash into something. I'm just so tired of not being able to do something everyone else does, seemingly without much effort. I was a passenger today in the car with my parents and we were almost t-boned, and it set my fight or flight off for hours. Literally couldn't do anything but lay down to calm myself after work. When my wife and I went to Cleveland last weekend, we drove 15 minutes before driving by a car crash and stopping to see if everyone was okay. They were not. Driving is so commonplace, and everywhere I look, there are reminders that I could hurt myself, or worse, someone else. I need to get better for my wife and my future family, but I'm afraid driving will never feel normal to me again. I literally feel safer with a gun than I do behind the wheel of a car.

 

Have you gone to a therapist for that?

 

I have. We were doing EMDR therapy up until my wedding, and unfortunately have not picked it up. But I have an appointment this Wednesday where I plan on being up resuming that specific therapy and/or driving with her and my wife as exposure.

 

A guy I used to work with at Home Depot died. He was such a friendly happy dude and always put a smile on my face. He started feeling sick last week after getting hurt at work and got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer last week and passed away this morning. Just kinda fucking me up.

 

Good luck man. I have a similar but extremely different type of trigger based on a near accident that can spike my anxiety tenfold. Therapy has helped!

 

I totally understand this.

On a much, much smaller scale I hit a deer with my car a few years ago. I literally saw it on the side of the road, began slowing down, deer started running the same direction I was driving, I’m down to maybe 20 mph, originally at 45, the deer suddenly takes a 90 degree turn and before I know it it’s on my hood, hit it at probably 10 mph. Deer slides off hood, I was already halfway on the shoulder when the deer hit, about 10 seconds pass, I’m just there in shock, deer gets up! It’s fine! Literally looks at me like, “really? That’s it? That’s not even gonna leave a bruise. See you, pal” and then gallops off. No damage anywhere on my car.

I say all that to say that even with that “incident” being as absolutely mundane, short and almost kind of funny as it was I was fucking TERRIFIED to drive for weeks after that so I can only imagine getting into a car accident like you experienced would probably screw me up for a long, long time and I suspect many others would be the same so don’t beat yourself up too much, you’re definitely not alone in still dealing with something like that.

 

Thanks for the kind words everyone.

Not to double-post -- I'm probably just being paranoid -- but I had a really strange experience leaving for work this morning. I lock the door and on my way down the driveway, a van parked on the curb starts and drives in the same direction I'm walking until they hit a stop sign and do a U-Turn. I turned my head and made sure they drove past my house before carrying on, which they did, but then by the time I make it to the end of the second block, they've turned around sped back up behind me AGAIN and beat me to the stop sign. They do a sharp right turn before I can make anything of it.

I texted my wife to make sure she was aware, got to her car/work okay, and wasn't followed. Just poor timing with my anxiety being high right now. Did not ask for a fun game of FBI, burglars, kidnappers, gangstalking, or coincidence

 

tw s/h

I have been extremely depressed lately and have no outlet or support. I’ve been thinking about s/h a lot. I used to cut my hands and arms with a pocket knife in high school and still might tomorrow, but I don’t want to totally bleed out right now lol.

 

Been less active around here the last few weeks and am crushed to see y’all having a hard time. My DMs are here if anyone wants to vent a bit. Not pretending to be a professional or to have great advice but I’m still here for you

 

Gonna be starting ketamine injections for my treatment-resistant depression next week. I’m excited but also a bit nervous. I also will likely be starting a PHP around the same time. Really hoping the combination will get me to a better place where I can hold down a (preferably full-time) job and start gaining some more independence.

I’m 28, unemployed, and currently living at home. I’ve struggled a lot in the past when I’ve worked or been a student. I was in a teaching credential program last year but took a leave due to my depression and anxiety, and now I’m not even sure if I want to pursue teaching anymore. But I have no idea what I would want to do instead. Even once I’m in a place to work again, I think I’ll have a hard time being hired since my employment history is a bit of a mess.

Sorry for the word vomit. I don’t post in here often, but I do follow it. I’m also always available to message. Really hoping that better days are on the horizon for all of us!

 

my DMs and I’m sure plenty of other peoples in this thread are always open

 

Mine always are

 

same!

and i hope my bringing up the venmo thing didn’t bring on any extra unneeded stress. i’m gonna go ahead and just speak for strangers cus i’m confident saying we love you here on chorus dot eff emm, @xapplexpiex

 

Nah, that didn’t have anything to do with it. Thanks for checking though! Overall, I’m getting worse. But I’ve been better since my post earlier.

 

I'm sometimes slow to respond because I always want to make sure I think before I type....but My DMs are always open as well.

 

Driving does seem like the craziest thing most people do causally everyday

 

Starting EMDR therapy again at the end of the month. A necessary and positive move, but the thought of "processing" and having to trigger myself in a controlled environment is...not fun.

 

Struggling with anxiety because I can’t get the help I need and not having the money to go somewhere else atm.

 

I’ve only gotten goosebumps a couple times in my life besides just being cold. But I started taking Straterra and I get them constantly now. Reading a manga I really like, a certain part of a song, a scene I’m watching in a movie…and it lasts for a long time. Kinda weird.

 

Just feel like such a mess and I'm struggling so much; my depression and stress is just next level right now. Everything annoys me and I'm pulling away from people because I'm lacking in ability to just put on a smile and talk to them normally. So, instead I disappear so I don't accidentally say something potentially shitty or hurtful. I'm barely able to be productive at work and I worry that eventually my boss will notice and I'll get shitcanned.

I can't even do what few things I do enjoy right now that help me "reset" a little and carry onward. I like just laying in bed and watching YouTube, but the weather is fucking too hot and it turns my bedroom into a furnace during the day so I can't do that. And normally sleep helps, but that is so fucked right now too. My insomnia is just wrecking me and I spend all night tossing and turning until it's morning and I'm cranky and awake and it just spirals more.

Just want to crawl into a hole and die already. I'm so tired of existing. /rant