Mental Health Thread • Page 393

I'm just so fucking scared. I don't want to die. I never want that to happen.

I'm so sorry.

 

No need to apologize, same and I’ve been there a lot.

 

Yep! It was a Brent brown video.

100% the power of vulnerability is the one that my work assigned to us.

 

@bigmike ❤️

 

Yep! Enjoy. It's been pretty sunny here, I've been lucky (even if it is still cold out). I also bought some vitamin D gummies for days when it's not so nice out!

 

I just volunteered for a cat shelter to help socialize and take care of cats, in addition to offering computer support. I could have checked off web design but I need a break from my day job! I'm excited though! I really hope they use me, I think this will really help my mental health. I'll go every Saturday if I have to.

 

There’s a cat cafe thing that’s been potentially opening for months now. The other week they posted they need $50k for a sprinkler system before the city lets them open. They opened a gofundme for it on 2/1 or so. They have raised $720. I’m never going to get to go hangout with cats right after work. It’s like 2 minutes from my job. I drive by it everyday, seeing the “future home of” sign.

 

hell yeah that sounds awesome

 

Lol today I had a coworker ask me how I'm so positive all the time and I laughed so hard I snorted. Basically explained that I just fake it at work and am one of the most negative people you'll ever meet lol.

 

Fake it till ya make it is my motto!

 

Any neurodivergent people here get dominated by neurotypicals in discussions/arguments? There have been times where I get so frustrated about not being able to get a word in, I have to cut them off with a raised voice in order for me to actually be heard. Of course that is going to change the vibe too, and because I become frustrated, it becomes even harder for me to put my thoughts into words. It usually results in my feelings being dismissed and my thoughts as being irrational/ void of any logic. It almost makes me want to become mute, and only communicate in writing.

 

All the damn time, to the point I have nightmares about it, especially with my Trumper/Qanon/flat-earther/anti-vax/etc brother.

 

All the fucking time.

 

I need to make an appointment with my therapist. It's been a few weeks and life is okay but my anxiety has been pretty bad lately. It's definitely tied to my drinking (I wake up mid-panic attack a lot, and the hangovers don't help). I'm also terrified of driving and it's so hard getting back on the road after being T-boned.

 

I got sick for like, the 5th time since November on Friday. Fever between 100-102 all weekend, chills/hot flashes, horrible night sweats, congestion, fatigue and aches, all the fun stuff.

Also, tonight I absolutely broke down and had the worst panic attack I’ve probably had since November of 2021. I was scream-crying into a squishmallow my fiancé got me for Valentine’s Day. It was not cute. Before that, I was yelling and berating her over some pretty minuscule stuff that in the moment seemed catastrophic. I feel horrible. I can get like that when I’m anxious, and it’s so embarrassing and unfair to her.

She’s so kind and forgiving and understanding, but I can’t shake the feeling that I don’t deserve her. Like, what if I never get better? What if I never like who I am? What happens if we have kids and I react to them the way I reacted to her tonight? I straight up could not live with myself.

 

I actually had a nightmare last night. And now that you mention it, I've definitely had a few like that in the past. Have you tried any sleep aids/anti-anxiety meds at night?

 

I don't know what got into me last night, but I snapped. I've been struggling to get a full night's sleep for weeks and it doesn't help that if our cats sleep with us, they try to wake us up for food like less than an hour before our alarm goes off. My wife also sleeps through everything, so it's always me. Anyways, they've been randomly fighting for weeks (like hissing and growling at each other a few times a day) and I was already anxious for a couple of reasons, trying to lower my heart rate, but seconds after I was finally dozing off last night, they started fighting and chasing each other room. I can't remember the last time I've been so angry, just shouting and cursing under my breath. I felt like me dad. I think it was compounded by the fact that my wife wouldn't get up to help me pull one of the cats out from under our bed.

Feeling better today -- I recognize that it's all relatively little/silly stuff -- but in the moment, it was just the perfect storm. I was furious

 

My friends husband passed away from cancer. They're my age and have a toddler and a newborn baby. They found out he had cancer around the time she got pregnant with her second. I'd heard he was doing well for a while but then saw a recent picture of him holding the new baby where he was unrecognizable and just a few days later he died. I don't even know what to do. We're not as close as we once were just due to being adults with different lives but I checked in with her and offered support when I learned of the diagnosis since my sister went through a similar thing, and then I've checked in periodically a few times but she's been understandably too busy to always respond. I want to offer support but don't want to overwhelm and nothing I could say even seems good enough. I was just looking at pictures from when I went to the bridal shower and then their wedding a few years back and it feels surreal.

 

It’s cliche, but helping with meals is super helpful, in my experience. Whether it’s home made or to go/delivery.

 

Having one of those days is where I’m either depressed or irritated at any given moment. I’m trying not to get lost in it because I know that the days where I’m feeling negative about almost every part of my day are just like that, but it sucks. Just ready to go to bed and wake up better tomorrow.

 

Fuck everything right now

 

Been dealing with my dads death and the fallout from that. Now my company is selling off their two biggest brands and announcing layoffs

 

Fuck, that sucks. Sorry to hear all that. Hang in there. We are here if you need to vent.

 

Thank you Greg