Mental Health Thread • Page 356

My goal for this year is to not over buy things I don’t need. I’m really bad at remembering when I bought something unless I date it. That’s why starting out first of the year, saying ok let me see how long it takes me to use this up might be helpful. I’m working on going through all my lotions, body washes, shampoos etc and will not buy it unless I actually need it. Really trying to minimize the stuff i have.

 

This is my goal too. I've wanted to get a fancy new moisturizer and I'm making myself finish the one I have and then decide if I still want the new one or if it was just a fleeting fear of missing out on a product thing. It's surprisingly difficult!

 

Especially when there’s a deal on something. I waste so much money buying things I don’t need right away!

 

I rarely post here but I needed to get this out somewhere.

I have an extreme phobia of death - everything around it scares me. I hate the idea of not existing, I hate the idea of aging, I hate the idea of time speeding up as you get older. Has anyone else dealt with this and overcome it? I have episodes that will last weeks at a time. I am seeing an existential therapist for it and I got medicated again on my old medication that I stopped because I thought I "fixed it." I hate feeling this way and I have contempt towards myself because I'm 33 and still haven't gotten a grip on it. I turn 34 next month and that's scaring the shit out of me because it's one year closer to death.

 

I’m afraid of dying alone. I have health problems and live alone and have no partner, so if need be I have no one to take care of me. I don’t like to think about death. The death of my aunt was really hard on me. She would send me stuff and give me stuff, and now that’s gone. Just thinking about where my soul would go when I die and what happens on your death bed really gets to me. Like just not existing anymore is hard think about. I can’t explain it.

 

Been on adderall for a while and it does the job but ive always wanted to be on Vyvanse but my insurance wouldnt cover it. Finally for whatever reason it will now and just got it prescribed today, really excited to try it.

 

I feel like I really need to treat my ADD, but I found myself getting very short-tempered when coming down from Adderall

 

Vyvanse has a reputation as being similar to adderall without the shitty side effects. Of course it is diffrrent with everyone, but a big thing ive seen is no crash. Ill report back on that haha.

 

The shitty irritating part is theres no generic form and the on brand is expensive af, like 300 unless insurance decided to cover it.
Stupid fucking american healthcare

 

I'm so fucking depressed. Living alone, working from home with this shitty cold weather and no car. I finally managed to get on a normal sleep schedule, but I can't manage to get out of bed when I wake up. I just lie there for hours and it ends up being nighttime.

I'm wasting my days and my life. Covid sucks and I don't know how to even begin to have a life or a future again.

What do I do?

 

Vase, I know this is the most cliche response you have prob heard 100 times and I prob have even told you this before but the thing to do is reach out for help. Professional help, You need to tell someone how terrible you are feeling and how miserable/unmotivated you are, be completely transparent with them and see what they think you need. Inpatient treatment can be a great option, I could help you look around as I have some resources in the field I could ask around.

I have been where you have been more or less and trying to get out of your own miserable funk is impossible after you pass a certain point. You have probably passed that point where you absolutely need to rely/seek out other people who are qualified and certified to help you.

PM me if you like, of course something like seeking inpatient treatment requires insurance, idk your working circumstances but dude, I have seen you struggling for a while now, the only way out is through reaching out and doing something different. I know the thought is probably that it's a waste of time or you are helpless but you need to dig deep and break through that belief and put in the foot steps to seek guidance and help.

There are outpatients, support groups, hot lines. Please let me help you find something I really want to.

 

I have a therapist and a psychiatrist, one of which I like and the other one I'm working to replace. The hardest part is the state of the world right now. I don't live with family, I don't have a partner and I live far from any friends so being social absolutely never happens for me and that's very draining.

Before the pandemic started I was finally doing new things, I got a new job, was trying creative things again, but then a few family tragedies happened and then the pandemic literally only months after.

It's hard imagining a future for work or a personal life because I don't even know how to do those safely or realistically right now. Dating is an absolute joke right now as well. It's just a very lonely time especially in the winter when I can't go for long walks into town or something without freezing haha.

 

You should look into taking the level of care a step higher, I'm sure there are outpatient programs near you where you could meet with people a few times a week and have some more therapy too, I always forget what state you are in.

But really my friend, you need more than what you are working with right now other wise it can continue to be a cycle that continues our misery.

 

got hired at a new job today. great news, very close to my apartment (walking distance) and excited to get back to work and make money again. only problem is, over the last year and a half i have been hired at 5 different places. every time i either relapsed before starting work or shortly after and never made it more than a few weeks at any of them. most recently at the end of last year i got a job at a great brewery i love when they opened a brand new taproom and was sober when i got hired, but had to wait two months to begin working and by the time training had started i had relapsed and it took only about a month for the wheels to fall off and for me to end up hospitalized and then in rehab without a phone or way to contact them. obviously lost the job. the other places i tried working for through the year and a half ended up about the same. thankfully i start monday and im clean and plan on keeping it that way for some time, its just hard to get too excited when my track record with employment has been horrible while navigating early recovery. and its not the type of job or anything that contributes, i dont even know what it is really, usually its that im always looking at my sobriety as a temporary status until i can 'make it work' while actively using (which it never works, no matter how much i trick myself into thinking it will) and this time my sobriety feels much more permanent than it has in the past so i would say im a little more optimistic but still weary.

 

It feels like the only thing that is standing between me and medication is exercise. I'm feeling good! I am always been majorly conscious of brain health given dementia and suicide being in my bloodline. It's an insanely noticeable difference. My fear comes more in thinking what happens if my routine collapses? Then it's back to total disconnection from life. I've worked in behavior analytics for 8 years now, you'd think that I would've figured this all out by now.

 

I am on the verge of complete collapse. I've spent much of the last 3 days in bed, only leaving to do bare minimum work-from-home stuff for my job (as I don't need to come into the office rn), eat and drink. I'm on 150mg sertraline and have started taking 2mg melatonin to help with sleep. I've lost all enthusiasm for life and nothing is appealing except sleeping. I'm unbearably depressed and think about dying multiple times a day. I don't know how much longer I can hang on.

 

I'm going to echo what Jersey said and reach out to a therapist right away.

Your life sounds a lot like mine and as hard as it is, you absolutely have to force yourself out of your bed. It's the smallest steps that add up to something big. Even something as simple as taking a shower is a big deal for people like us.

 

the worst thing about this is I had a phone appointment with my therapist last week

 

Don't be so hard on yourself. I have missed appointments and had to reschedule. Things aren't easy sometimes. It's hard to create a habit, but it will totally help in the long run.

 

I texted my therapist about scheduling a session this week and never heard back from her. I’ve been seeing her for three years and have no idea why she wouldn’t answer we text all the time and if I DONT reach out to schedule she tells my psychiatrist whose office I’ve been at every day for TMS therapy and he hasn’t mentioned her saying anything so idk maybe she got too busy and missed it, she moved all sessions to virtual so I’m sure that has caused some confusion and mix up but idk if I should text her again or wait til she realizes she missed my text or never got back to me without realizing it. Point is right now is especially tough to deal with setting up something with a therapist, I’m having trouble even with someone I’ve been seeing for years. The ongoing pandemic continues to ravage and leave behind people struggling with mental health issues of any kind

 

i would say it doesn’t hurt to text again. i once had a therapist who didn’t text back to a request I made to book in for an entire month and it basically ruined our relationship. i’m aware it wasn’t really my responsibility to chase up on them, but they’re human too and sometimes just forget to text back like anyone else. a little nudge doesn’t hurt!

 

I have gone months between appointments since the pandemic began because that was the best they could fucking offer me. I had to wait four months for another appointment after my breakdown last year... a week after a previous appointment. it's not been out of choice except for that one time before this. September through January felt achievable. I was content enough to push it out and get by with medication, then everything went to hell last month. I can't afford to attend as often as I would like anyway, which sucks. Next tentative appointment is late March.

 

she did get back to me late last night and offered me a slot today that I can’t make lol

 

I think after next month I’ll be able to pay off my credit card. It’s been nearly two years maybe more. The biggest thing was a large vet bill. Plus cat supplies and food from chewy. And Hulu. Hulu doesn’t let me use my debit card so I’m stuck.

 

First time posting in here, i think. But i talked with a friend last night and I finally took steps to start shutting down all of my social media accounts. It's been a long time coming for me, as I've noticed I spend a lot of time lurking and doom scrolling and it creates more anxiety for me and i waste a lot of time where I'd rather be doing more healthy activities. While this is definitely extreme, I really feel like it's something i need to do for myself. I'm completely deleting it. Don't feel a need to have a trace on my data too. So far I've deleted and deactivated FB, Twitter, and my Reddit accounts. The last 2 left are IG and TikTok, which I'm planning on shutting down this weekend.

It helped to have a friend last night who agreed in my decision, supported it, and also took steps to shut down their accounts in solidarity.

This site feels different to me. there's an actual community here and I enjoy it, so I'm hoping i don't just move over here and start another addictive pattern with it.

Anyways, that's what's going on with me right now and i just wanted to share about it somewhere. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk