Mental Health Thread • Page 350

I'm so sorry for your loss. Hope you and your family are holding up okay

 

I am so sorry. Thinking of you and your family, bud.

 

my thoughts are with you. my grandfather is starting to suffer from dementia and seeing as I live very far away and only see my extended family once a year or so (and was in and out of treatment and doing my thing with drugs back when I was living at home last year/early this year) I highly doubt he’s going to fully remember me the next time I see him, if I ever get to see him again. I’ve been putting off making a trip back home or asking my mom how he’s doing because I would rather not know because I know he’s doing awful and it’s just a matter of time until I get that phone call. I haven’t had to deal with a major death or illness in my family pretty much ever so this is all new to me.

 

Thanks so much for the well wishes, everyone. I really appreciate it. Just a weird time for sure, I don't think it's fully sunk in yet.

@sophos34 I'm sorry you're going through a similar situation with your grandfather . I totally understand the feeling of never dealing with a major death or illness in the family, and it's really hard. Wishing you and your family well

 

I think the saddest moment of yesterday was seeing my grandmother quietly walk over to my grandfather and gently tucked him in and tried to close his open mouth. It was such a sweet and sad moment from her.

 

When my grandma died of Covid it was my first major loss as well. I don't think I've even processed it yet because with Covid it didn't feel real. We had to watch her body on a webcam and it didn't even look like her. She always had her hair and nails done but she looked so messy and unkempt. I feel v disconnected since she and all my extended family live in California so I didn't get to partake in any memorial for her. I think I'll be in denial for a while

 

I feel like I'm absolutely losing my mind and all my energy. Doing basic things take such an immense amount of willpower and strength. I basically only eat once a day if that. I can't see myself beyond an unintelligent, lazy, talentless and futureless parasite on my family and friends. I'm just a shell and I'm floating by barely surviving. I can't even fathom what it must be like to have some sort of self worth or dreams or skills. It's gotten so bad. I have an appointment with my therapist on Tuesday, but I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to do moving forward.

Why is this form of existence even a thing? Why can someone experience this much self loathing and mental anguish? It just seems cruel. I don't feel like I deserve this...

 

To those that believe in past lives, Does anyone else relate to feeling like they’re being punished in this life? (Or rewarded?). My entire life as far as I can remember I feel like I’m being punished. Nothing in my life has gone well. People tell you to “be patient” and wait yadda yadda yadda. But how much Longer does someone have to wait. I’ve been waiting for over 30 years. My life is shit. I don’t have a typical “family”. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere.. I’m just “existing”. I have no skills or talent and I’m not smart, I’m ugly. I come to realized that maybe I don’t have BDD (something I never talk about), but I’m actually ugly. Always felt ugly. I avoid mirrors. Can’t look at them even if I can’t see my reflection. I just wanted an excuse for myself. Reason why I don’t mind wearing a mask since I can’t cover half my face.

I’ve been depressed most of my life. I feel like my depression currently is at a “standstill”. Like I know I’m depressed because I can’t manage to get simple things done like laundry or put dishes in the dish washer. I try. I feel lazy. Simple things just take too much energy out of me. I’m just lost. I don’t have anything to look forward to in this life.

 

I feel this way a lot actually. I really wish I could find a way to help both of us. Wouldn't it feel great to just once feel like you're good at something or have some sort of future?

 

Yes. I never felt like I had a future. I wasted time getting a degree that is “useless” unless you want to go to grad school. If I would have known, I would have chosen something different. Now I’m working a job that isn’t so much of a career but can be, working my way back up.

 

I often feel like I have nothing to live for but it’s what I deserve due to my shitty behaviors and my drug addiction. I view myself as nothing more than a worthless junkie even when I’m not actively using so I get what I deserve. Which stops me from even trying to better my life.

 

I'm out of refills on my meds and the doctor won't refill them until I come in for an appt so even tho I know the meds are working and want to continue on them I still have to come in, pay a copay, and then pay for labs. Yay.

 

They can’t do a zoom appt. or phone appt? Do those cost?

 

That's so dumb. I hate when they do that. Why even bother prescribing the meds to patients if you aren't going to refill? It's a joke.

 

Idk they didn't give me the option they just scheduled an office appt.

 

My psych is willing to do a lot of things over email as long as I come in at least 2x/year, which is really nice

 

Got a preliminary diagnosis of inattentive adhd along with the anxiety and depression I knew about

Never been on medication or had regular therapy as an adult, I wonder if it'll fix all of my problems

 

I have a similar diagnosis. It'll be all good friend. for ADHD, the meds will definitely help but I will say that in my experience, Adderall made me super twitchy and angry (FOR ME! It's really helpful for some) so I had to switch to focalin. As for therapy, go for it! But the one thing I was always told was therapy is just a tool, it's how you use it that makes the difference, you know?

 

I’m not safe. I constantly live in a state of anxiety not knowing what will happen next. I have to “hide”.

 

Thanks :)

 

This past Saturday our house and cars were hit/totaled by a tree during a tornado storm that blew through our area. I’ve never experienced anything like it before and I’ve lived in this state my entire life. We live in a tiny little two bedroom and there’s no basement. The storm was getting really bad, the tornado siren was going off, and the news was telling us to seek shelter. My wife kept looking out the window and finally suggested that maybe it’d be best to at least get in the tub with our kids. She had just grabbed my son and brought him into the bathroom and I was about to pick up my daughter when I looked up and saw this massive tree go flying and slam into both of our cars. Then it hit the roof and it was so loud and the whole house was shaking and I genuinely thought we were going to die. I am amazed we are alive. Coming out of this is a nightmare. We’re all exhausted and I can’t stop thinking about it. My son is having nightmares and is terrified to go back in the house again. I feel completely overwhelmed.

 

Omg that's so scary I'm glad you guys are physically okay

 

Thank you. At one point we had no choice but to go outside and make a run for it across the street to our neighbors. Another tree came crashing down a few houses over while we were running and my son was screaming in my arms. I just…I can’t stop thinking about all of it. Over and over in my head.

 

Holy fuck @Nyquist i am so sorry that happened and I’m glad everyone is okay. That is petrifying.

 

Thank you, Mike. The arborist showed up for the inspection and when he and the others got out of the truck they all gathered at the foot of the driveway and just stared. One of them looked at my wife and I and said “Hooooooly shit you guys, I am so sorry.”

Weirdly enough one of the worst parts has been watching people walk by the house and stop to take a selfie in front of it. Like…hope your TikTok subscribers get some joy out of our tragedy.