Mental Health Thread • Page 34

Going into panic attack mode, and I'm just about to head to work for 7 hours. The joys of being a manager means I can't call in sick as there's no one else that can cover for me.
Going to be a long day...

 

I haven't been able to sleep yet because I can't stop panicking. I decided to finally read this and now I can't stop crying.
I just want to fast forward

 

I hope you're getting some sleep now. That's such a terrible feeling. Hopefully when you wake up things will feel a little less suffocating. I know you're going through a lot right now. ❤️

 

i dont think I ever realized how emotionally dependent on my ex I had become until she broke up with me. She's trying to be very understanding and says she still cares about me but it still hurts so bad. I can't stop thinking about her but now that it's over it seems like she had already emotionally processed this for the most part before it happened. Every morning I look over and her pillows are gone and it brings me to tears. The worst part is she feels like the only person I feel totally comfortable spilling my guts to. We just signed a lease a few months ago to stay in our apartment so we have like a whole year left

I'm just so upset with myself, I retracted from people who loved me and put all my eggs in this basket. It feels like a part of my identity is gone. I know I'm pathetic but I would love another chance with her. But she told me she loved me but not in the way I deserved from a partner. Sigh

 

dude i am literally going through the exact same situation. i was super dependent on my ex for everything. just embrace the freedom, and be happy that a) you aren't burdening anyone and b) you are now the only one responsible for making yourself feel okay. it sucks at first and the crying seems to never stop, but just let as much out as possible, and eventually the tears die down.

 

I am also in nearly the exact same situation. Only 2 months left in our lease now, but we had about 6 when this happened. I am 4 months into this and just know it slowly does get better. Everyone says it but focus on yourself, get back in touch with friends or find some new ones at work and just do whatever you want. It is a relief to not have anyone to answer to, or worry about sometimes but I understand how lonely it feels. I got turned down for a job and she was the first person I wanted to tell and vent and cry to. Not every day is good but we'll all get there.

 

For the first two months after my breakup I was fine. Just over a year since we broke up now, and I'm still struggling to find my own identity outside of our relationship.
I'd give anything to give it another go with her, unfortunately for me she moved to Australia. Will likely never see her again, which just makes it harder.

 

Appreciate the support guys, never felt so much like wanting to talk to so many people and no one at all simultaneously. It helps knowing I'm not totally alone though

 

I feel you man. I'd do anything for just one more day with her

 

I'm currently re-watching "You're The Worst".
They're portrayal of depression is very accurate.

 

Today I was thinking how I love working with ladies that are a bit older and very maternal and do like light touches on my shoulder or call me "hun" like it's just so soothing and then all of a sudden it hit me #MommyIssues

 

it's been a year and a half since my break up and it still doesn't feel that long ago. since it happened, for some reason i've felt like time has gone more slowly.

esp since i barely have any hours of work a day, and just sit down doing nothing cause i have no friends and i've given myself carpal tunnel by being addicted to MOBA games. it's embarrassing and sad. i'm physically in pain, and that doesn't make me feel emotionally better at all. fed up of feeling alone.

 

I never really enjoy vacations bc I'm so anxious. I should be at work and I'm not and it's weird lol

 

I love vacations. I got back from being away for three weeks. Felt pretty great the whole time I was away. Got home and my anxiety has been going mad ever since. I want to move away.

 

It's pretty horrible realising that the best relationship I've ever been in fell apart because for a while, my depression got so bad that she couldn't cope. It was a pretty long and dark episode, and I kinda became a shell of myself. I'm not sure what it says about us that we couldn't make it through.
A year on I'm finally starting to feel like a normal person, and now I just feel like I'm missing a massive part of my personality.

 

Sometimes I feel like I could be ready for a new relationship if the desire/opportunity presented itself but then there are days like today where the thought makes me feel sick and nauseous. I want to look into therapy but the anxiety of trying to navigate insurance and find a good one makes me more nervous than actually opening up to someone.

 

There is literally so much I need to say in this thread to reply to other people and follow up from last night but I honestly can't even handle it all right now.
I will say that school starts back up tomorrow. I am super anxious but I hope it will be good.

 

I've had alcohol almost every night for the past week. As someone who had weight loss surgery, I get drunk hella quick (like, one or two glasses of wine or a shot of hard alcohol will get me hammered), and it passes pretty quickly as well. I'm starting to wonder if I might be pushing my limits and setting myself up for abuse problems... But being tipsy/drunk helps me not have to think so much and gets me out of my head. It helps me be more sociable, as well.

Sigh. I just want to be better. Normal. Not sad or apathetic all the time.

 

been neglecting this thread. today i freaked out bc i saw some polaroids of my ex and i that were taken a year ago. i freaked out a little bit and almost cried in front of her just out of seeing them. i can't wait to move out and not have to be in the same space as her. this week is dragging by so much it feels like even my work days are longer.

 

I'm really tired and yet I've struggled to sleep lately :( I've just been stressed, really busy, too social since it was my birthday on Monday and I've been surrounded by family for a week. I'm going to rest for the next few days and look after myself as best as I can before I get too overwhelmed

P.S. I've missed everyone on here... I hate being busy and not having much alone time!

 

Never realized how much of a loner I had become. I would just stay in a lot of nights because I liked it, or sometimes I'd go out with my ex and her friends. They're still *my friends too* I guess but we never really have hung out without her being there too. I feel so low, I know that she cares about me but she doesn't want to be my partner anymore and I just feel disconnected from everything

I went to school to try to see a therapist and I got in but I don't get to have a *real* session until next Friday. Feel like such an idiot for letting myself get to this point

 

Have nothing to add but I am still reading this thread!

I would reply to some of the posts here but honestly just so drained and waiting for people's responses stress me out occasionally lol.

But if anyone prefers chatting instead just pm me your chat names (not sure what's hip these days - whatsapp or whatever). It's therapeutic for me as well.

 

I'm really sorry. I'm here for you if you need someone to chat with

 

I often wonder if stuffing myself with pop culture and beer is the real fix to my anxiety problems.

I always say I need an actual door and not just a window to the real world but I try to get out and I just look at everyone and everything and I get so frustrated for so many reasons, and I end up feeling more doomed than usual.

Doom is the best way to describe it for me at least - an overwhelming feeling of eventual downfall slowly creeping inside my head and body in small moments. I usually push that out by pushing everything else in, from comics to games to movies and while I do start to feel better I often wonder if I'm actually fixing something in me or just delaying the inevitable.

I do have a decent life, with good friends and a nice girl, and a nice job but a lot of times I feel like I faked growing up and any minute now everyone is going to figure it out. Bottling up is a mechanism that I always rely on, but being a consistent person is someone I'm not.

I just feel like any minute now my walls would start to crumble and I get to the truth - that happiness is truly a myth all along.

 

I relate to doom and feeling of delaying the inevitable all too well.

I feel hopeless lately. I'm not happy with any aspect of my life and I've been trying what I feel is my hardest to change it and to no avail yet, I feel worse with every day that passes, mentally, physically, emotionally.