Mental Health Thread • Page 330

Thanks. Yeah it seems like I'll need to go to court over this. I am tempted to waive my right to child support if she gives up her 50% custody, but at the same time I think why should I give that up? I'd just be giving up a right I already have with no benefit to me. She does nothing but take and pressures me into doing what she wants

 

Feels like the appropriate thread for this and I'm not really sure why I'm posting it.

For the last 4 weeks now I've been in rehab trying to get to the root of my alcoholism. I'm staying 60 total days so I still have a while to go. For the first time in my life I'm very motivated to stay sober for life. I've drank since I was 16 and drank like an alcoholic for about 9 years now. By the end, right before I checked in here I was drinking all day every day, even at work while working from home due to COVID. My eyes were starting to yellow from jaundice (but they look much better now). I definitely have done a toll on my liver and my blood work results show that. Just crazy to think how time flies. When I first joined AP.net I had never had a drink in my life. For a long time now alcohol has consumed my life.

I'm ready and motivated to get through this. One day at a time, but in reality it has to be no more alcohol ever. Again, not really sure why I posted this here, just helps my recovery in writing the words down and sharing. If anyone else is going through anything similar, I'm here for ya!

 

I'd quite like to talk to some people right now. My friends are asleep and I'm not. And I'm not in the best place mentally but I just want a chat.

 

well this is where we chat and bs so come join us
SlappinCups MemoriA1 • Page 39 • forum.chorus.fm

 

Not been a great week, but did cap it off by having my first therapy session, which i guess went alright. only bummer is the next session won't be for a couple weeks since next friday is a holiday, or a day off for people anyway. Decided I will look into meeting with a specialist for one continuing health issue. it'd been chalked up due to my anxiety and whatnot, but it's never truly gone away and i could really use answers because i'm so fucking tired of it.

 

I’ve been a lurker in this thread because I have my own unresolved issues but I just want to tell everyone who posts in here - you all are so brave and I think you all are very strong. Just know I’m rooting for you! You all rule!

 

feeling very off today and i dont know why or even really how. just out of sorts and it's freaking me out.

 

Really sorry to hear that, I've coincidentally been feeling the same way all day. Just really anxious, sad, and an upset stomach. My dad asked me if we wanted to meet up for a socially distanced picnic at a park on Sunday and the thought of going out in public only made my anxiety 1000x worse so I just had to tell him I've been having wicked bad anxiety all day and will have to get back to him tomorrow because I can't even think straight

It really fucking sucks when you can't trace it to any specific trigger

 

I just moved an hour South and I’m fucking exhausted, cause, like, moving is the absolute worst, but during a pandemic is like a level of mental exhaustion I just couldn’t comprehend until today.

 

yeah pretty much me to a T, though i have managed to control it a little and lower my anxiety somewhat since waking up this morning. i just had no idea what triggered it and that was just freaking me out even more.

 

sometimes I think that the worst parts of me are what are going to win out in the end, and that no matter what good is in me, that it will dry up eventually and be replaced by bitterness, resentment and hatred for myself, my situation and the world around me; that all the worst things that could happen to me will, so why even try to fight it? i don't know that I'm wrong to think that stuff either. I don't know if people really can change, if I am capable of the real kind of change it takes to get me out of these holes I've dug myself into

 

I have a lot of things I need to get past. today I made the decision to quit smoking pot for a while, to curtail my porn watching, to not have any more casual sex, to stop eating and drinking so many unhealthy things, to change my attitude and my behaviors as those are the only thing I really have control over anyway, to drink more water, to push myself to get in better shape, to talk to less people, to trust less but be more loving, and even to spend less time online. some of these are really hard things but nothing worth doing is ever easy. I've just reached a point where I don't want to wake up one day and be 47 and still doing everything I can to get a bag of weed and agonizing over how much I can smoke until I get the next bag, or whatever... I love pot, I love porn, I love sex, I love sugary drinks, I love bad food, but enough is enough and I have to make a change for me right now or I'm going to be stuck in this loop for the rest of my life and I would rather die than to do that

 

Holy shit, did I write this? Seriously, though, best of luck, you got this.

 

thanks, my dude.

 

You got this! I started doing yoga a few weeks ago with my girlfriend and that led me to feeling better which led me to get out walking and then eating better and on the whole I feel way better. You’re gonna crush it!

 

thanks y'all

 

Take it slow, but I believe in you

 

yeah, I'm definitely trying to not do too much, too soon because oftentimes when you do that, you end up not doing any of it because you tried to tackle too much at one time and I've been there too many times to not learn my lesson. every little bit of progress helps tho, and I know that it's not a case of perfection or failure, you just have to take it a day at a time

thank you

 

I am furloughed from work and the uncertainty is mentally taking its toll on me. I’m now into my fourth month off and most of my department have returned. I have not had any direct communication from a line manager in months. The generic director emails to all staff keep using ‘restructure’ in them but also saying keeping as many people employed is a focus etc.

The other difficulty i am having with it is that i have worked for the company for the best part of a decade and grown to make a few good friends from there. They are all back and I am not. Ive now realised that a lot of the time my recent conversations with them are talking about the goings on in work. I’m not sure this is the best thing for my mental health. It just opens it up to speculation and conjecture on what is happening with the company which in the current climate isn’t bound to be great.

I’m trying to just get on with my days and keep productive until i get a call from work hopefully saying I’m still employed and hopefully not victim of ‘restructure’.

 

I hate my brain!

 

Managed to already meet with a specialist regarding my physical issue, which i've never really mentioned in here but was just a sudden urinary urgency/frequency that freaked me out and spiked my anxiety even more. The urologist basically said nothing appears physically wrong, but I do have crystals in my urine (a precursor to kidney stones) that is gonna irritate my bladder and the anxiety is likely gonna play a part here too. so we're gonna see whether the prozac helps once it actually kicks in (only 2 weeks so far) and I'm going to work on drinking more water. So fingers crossed.

I got so anxious over this appointment and barely slept last night, so i'm ready for a nap and it's not even noon yet. lol. i'm such a fool.

 

lately I struggle with doing little things like putting away laundry or EATING ACTUAL MEALS or literally anything that doesn't involve laying in bed or sitting on the couch.


I start therapy on monday.

 

I feel this big time. I hope it goes well!

 

This site takes such a toll on my mental health