Mental Health Thread • Page 279

This is too accurate.

 

Struggling pretty bad today and idk why. I guess I have these days on and off. I’m restless and my mind is such a mess I can’t describe it. I can’t focus on anything. I wish I had friends I can talk to or someone to send memes to or something but I’m not worthy of anything which makes it harder to get by daily.

 

I’m worthless and ugly and no one is going to want to be with me with all my mental health issues. My ex left me because he was tired of it. I know he secretly hates me and is glad he doesn’t have to deal with me anymore. I cry every morning and every night. Wants sad is he claimed he understands mental health because he “studied” psychology for a bit but felt like it was wrong to feel the way I do, which was a problem for him. The breakup fucked me up so much I can’t take it. I never felt so low and broken and words can’t even describe. I just wish I’d get really sick and die or get in a bad car accident and die. I’m not worthy enough for anyone and don’t feel like I belong anywhere and just a waste of space. Some times I feel like he’d be better off if he never met me or just wasn’t interested. That way I wouldn’t hurt as much. I don’t want to hurt anymore and want the pain to go away

 

I'm trying so hard to reframe my state of mind. I went home on my lunch break and cleaned out my fridge and did the dishes. That has been a big sense of relief because it was a big source of shame and defeat. I think the hardest part of navigating my mental health is that it's a daily struggle and daily maintenance. It's something I have to be vigilant about daily and it can feel exhausting. It's difficult to have so many ups and downs. To be great one day or even one week and then just fall off the next makes it so hard to keep up. I get why ppl give up. Today I've had to give myself so many reminders to shift my mindset. I start getting mentally and emotionally drained and just want to sleep, but I'm not physically exhausted. It's my mindset. It's changeable but requires so many reminders it's just a lot.


Also @Carmen SD I hope you're doing well

 

Ive found having good structure in day to day is really helpful for grounding myself for whatever variables life/mental health brings.

For example, I try to make sure to read on my train ride to and from work, do deep breathing and meditation in the shower, make my bed, make sure I tidy things up around the apartment when I get home from work before I start doing stuff etc.

 

Yeah I think I'm going to make it a point to try and work on at least one thing when I get home. Whether that be dishes or laundry or cleaning up my bathroom, whatever. My routine has fallen to the wayside a bit because I keep getting off work late and then I got sick. I'm hoping this week I'll get back on track. I have an appt in a nearby city which has a cool vegetarian selection so I'm gonna pick up groceries and try to get back to the gym now that I'm feeling better

 

Hell ya, you got this. Ive found even if its something so small every day it helps. We crave structure generally, whether we know it or not.

 

Got myself half worked into a panic attack over my flight to London which is not for TWO WEEKS and now I can’t sleep. :(

 

My brain is bad and it's not been a good mental health week.

 

I just really, really hate myself and do not want to do this anymore.

 

I've been trying really hard to reframe my mindset like 10000 times a day and it has rly been helpful. The parenting book I'm reading has so many helpful passages. What we see in others, we strengthen in ourselves. What we focus on, we get more of. By focusing on what is not good enough, you will not feel good enough. When you feel inadequate, you tend to blame others for your internal upset.

This has been super helpful for me to read. I tend to dwell on things that stress me out or upset me, but by reframing it more positively it helps me get out of that rut and instantly makes me feel better. Like I can acknowledge the feeling, validate it, reframe it, and then move on. Granted I'm doing it 10000 times a day, but better than dwelling all day.

 

I feel the same :(

 

It’s really hard to get by each day. I constantly feel ugly and hideous and will never meet anyone that will want to be with me. Everyone just ends up leaving because they’re tired of my mental health. I honestly can’t get by alone in life. I put a little bit of makeup on today before work because I didn’t have time to do my “normal” routine and I look in the mirror and see this monster. I have an increased in anxiety when I go out in public. I try to hide myself with a hat so my ugly face is less noticeable. I just feel like everyone is staring at me thinking how can someone be so ugly. I can’t go on like this

 

I'm having a very bad mental health day. I've been in bed all day in tears. I'm very depressed. I don't see myself getting better. I've been battling depression since early teens and nothing helps. Most days I want to die. I strongly feel like I'm going to end up going thru life alone because no one wants to be with someone ugly, and I'm only going to get uglier and have more health issues as I get older. Every day I think "why me". I don't want kids because theres a high chance I'll pass all of this to them, and I won't put them thru what I've gone thru, but it seems like everyone wants kids these days. I've been alone and struggling alone all my life and its hard. With extra problems I can't deal with it alone and need someone by my side. But it likely won't happen. I wish all of this would end

 

I hate myself and I hate my fucking life. I’m tired of being lonely and unwanted, I feel like I’m a burden or I’m just tolerated

 

I am just so tired of existing. I loathe my body and mind. I don't know that I'll ever find happiness, just not sure it's possible.

 

I nearly had an anxiety attack at the grocery store. My anxiety is already increased since the breakup. I was in line at the check out and I literally couldn’t move because the person in front of me was there. The guy behind me was super rude and was saying things like “other people don’t think about others” to the person next to him and kept saying “the girl in front” too. I really wanted to turn around now and snap but I have a dirty look instead and too my swert time when paying for my stuff. He was like in his 40s-50s too.

I really don’t know how I can get past this heartbreak. I find myself declining mentally and physically. I have bursts of breakdowns where I’m balling my eyes out and times where I’m just ok. The only happiness I ever experienced was ripped from me. I strongly feel like I won’t find that happiness again. I always feel awful and rather not be living. I don’t have anything to live for. My health problems are only going to progress and get worse over time. Part of me feels like my ex did his own research and found out how bad my health is/would get and didn’t want to deal with me. Constant doctors visits to specialist, higher risk for things like cancer, constant pain, etc. I really don’t want to go thru all of that alone. I can’t. He had said things like “i don’t want you to die early on me” which words like that make this breakup more difficult because i was lead to believe we had a future together. But I guess who would want to be with someone who doesn’t know if they have a future. My health problems are known to cause depression and anxiety in which I went from mild depression to severe and more anxiety. Can’t keep going on like this.

Has anyone seen a therapist or avoided seeing a therapist because you know talking to them isn’t going to do anything and you don’t want to waste time and money. That all you will get out of it is meds that may not even help because you literally can’t fix your health problems. I don’t feel like therapy will do anything because they can’t magically cure me. I wish I could wake up and be cured.

 

I think if you go in with the mindset that the therapist is going to or even should magically cure you it's never going to be successful. What I appreciate about my therapist is that she encourages me to see things from a different perspective or sometimes just helps me untangle and organize my thoughts into something more productive. I think we tend to feel calm or content when things are going our way. We get frustrated when things don't go how we believe they should. That's when I find therapy helpful - to develop those tools when things aren't going my way and I need to learn how to cope effectively. It's def not a quick fix process which can be super frustrating, but it's also oddly rewarding when I'm able to work through it using what I've learned. Also thinking you need a cure implies there is something wrong with you - there isn't! You've been thru something super difficult and I hope you're doing well.

 

Alsooooo today was a tough day. I'm trying to remind myself that I can redirect my frustration into learning a new skill. Instead of dwelling and being annoyed at others ppls behaviors which I can't control, I need to channel that energy into doing what I can to avoid this situation happening again. But my sense of wanting to control everything wants to dominate everything else. Part of me is like "no they're wrong and they need to know they're wrong." Logical brain realizes that isn't a productive way to think and won't get me anywhere, but it's so haaaard.

 

When I was talking about "curing" I was referring to my health problems, which can't be cured :( My health problems are the main cause to my depression and anxiety (other triggers will either make it better or worse. upon doing some research the depression and anxiety can be lifelong). So to me I don't see how a therapist will help me. Like when I was with my ex, I was in the best place I've ever been. Before him and now were/are bad places. I'm glad therapy works for others, but I just don't know how it will make me feel better. I know I shouldn't say it won't work unless I try it, but if I feel like having someone that makes me feel like I have a purpose and wants me makes things better, then I don't see therapy as something what will benefit me if you know what I mean.

 

I get that, and I don't think therapy has to be for everyone so I def don't wanna come off preachy. But like if depression and anxiety is going to be a lifelong struggle, which I think is unfortunately the case for many, therapy can help to learn tools and coping skills to manage those feelings and work thru them. Having someone who makes you feel good about yourself and makes you want to make positive change is really awesome and can be helpful too, but I think it can be tough putting all your eggs in one basket. If your esteem and purpose is all tied up in one person, that is giving them a lot of control over your life and your well-being. It took me going thru an abusive relationship to learn that unfortunately. I think being content and okay and happy with yourself is one of the most challenging things we can learn, and one that's an everyday lifelong process, but I do believe it's possible. Just remember to be kind to yourself bb.

 

I feel like everyday I toe the line of a mental breakdown heavy sigh

 

I'm so tired of each and every fucking day.

 

Weird moment for me tonight when my gf essentially said she doesn't want to have kids with me if I stay a grocery store employee

I mean no I don't want to work minimum wage the rest of my life when min wage isn't a living wage. But damn there are things to unpack here

 

What was her reasoning? Not having enough funds? Growing up my dad was (and still is) a grocery store employee and it was fine?? If anything it was nice cause he could easily pick up medicine after work if I was sick or a prescription at the pharmacy or any random food craving cause he was already there!