Mental Health Thread • Page 26

Pretty sure I'm about to go off the deep end....it's been a good six months...rippp

 

I chewed all my fingernails off and a good portion of the skin on my fingers today. Fuck I hate everything. That's what three flights with minor turbulence does to me.

 

i'm truly scared that it's all going to come apart again when school starts

 

One of those nights. I feel really down and depressed. My 26 is coming closer and closer. I remain single af. At the rate things are going my biggest fear will for sure come true.

 

aye man don't get down on urself

i met my future wife at 28 u good

 

I do that too and I hate myself afterwards. Twinzies though bc I bit all of my nails and ton of skin off last night too. We can't help it so I'm always like breathe, this isn't the end of the world. I hope you feel better.❤️

 

I was watching the movie Her a couple of years ago and one of the filmmakers talked about how they were a virgin and never went on a date until they were 30, which is when they met their first girlfriend. It was a sweet story the way they told it, and maybe puts it in perspective that relationships happen when they happen, and it is always a beautiful thing, so don't feel like a loser because you might find true love in your 30's or later and that's more than what many, maybe most find throughout their lives. That advice probably sounds really saccharin and whatnot hahaha, but in a society where relationships are (hopefully) increasingly being viewed in a more open minded and realistic way, I think you maybe shouldn't necessarily be ashamed of/need to worry too much about something like that. /2 cents

 

I'm tired of hearing that tho. I may not have the "looks" but underneath all the mess and issues that I have, I think I have a decently good personality if I was given a chance. I've pretty much given up trying. I don't like to share the fact that I've been single for life with people irl because people have made fun of me/mocked me about it in the past. I would lie tho. I know some people think "she's so ugly what guy would want to be with her, is he blind"

 

I am feeling extremely bad and hating myself a lot tonight

 

The fact that people made fun of you for that shit makes me so mad. Things happen for people at all kinds of different ages so you being single at 26 means nothing. You're not "behind" or anything.

 

I wasn't implying it had anything to do with your looks or "issues" or anything, lol. I just feel like being single in your late 20's or maybe even perpetually is no reason to be ashamed or worried, personally, though the depression and feeling of loneliness does of course suck if you're seeking a relationship and haven't connected w/ someone recently or quite yet. Sorry if my post invalidated your experience, it was maybe a simplified response to more complex experiences you are going through

 

This is why I am very negative and aggressive about society's expectations about relationships and sex. It's gross that being a virgin makes tabloid headlines and people in high school are all like "WHEN WAS UR FIRST KISS? LOLZ U'VE NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND?" Kind of pathetic people have been 'wired' to think that way. It's not something to be mocked about. Some people have few relationships, some have a lot, some have none. It should not make or break a person.

 

I can relate I've never been in a relationship and when virgin is used as an insult I always feel really bad about myself, but then I remember that Lisa Kudrow waited until marriage and everybody loves her

 

Yeah I remember in hs people teasing me and spreading rumors I was a lesbian cause I hadn't dated anyone yet. I was only 15! I felt kinda pressured to date my first bf and regretted it pretty quickly. I think he still hates me lol

 

Lisa Kudrow is goals!!!!!

 

I know. I just feel like me being single has to do with my looks. Probably just my paranoia. Like there's guys that have no problem wanting to fuck me, but when it comes to dating me it's like a totally different game.

 

from what other people have said a lot of it is confidence and how you present yourself, but I have no confidence so I can't let you know personally

 

I'm 25, never been in a relationship, never been on a date....I've never even had my first kiss, yet! I know how cruel people can be about it, though. I don't even talk about it openly anymore because I got made fun of pretty bad by a lot of people because of it. I know even people in my own family make "jokes" about it because my cousin who is about 10 years younger than me had her first kiss before me. I guess people just don't think before they open their mouths and don't realize (or care) how hurtful their words can be. Some "jokes" just aren't funny. Other people pressuring me made me feel really bad about myself and it really damaged my self-esteem and made me feel like something was wrong with me. But lately I've been in a better place with it and realized that it was probably for the best. I wasn't in a very good state of mind and honestly probably wasn't ready for a relationship (or could have easily fallen into an unhealthy relationship if I had chosen to go with certain people my "friends" tried to hook me up with). Going through some really big years of my life being single really allowed me to grow as a person and find myself (cheesy as it sounds). So now I'm just kinda waiting for it to happen, whenever that may be.

 

I hate that too. I think it makes people feel bad. There was a show on MTV called "Virgin Territory" where people talked about being virgins and shit like it was an issue. Some as young as 18. Like you're fucking 18! You don't need to worry about that shit, and its not a big deal, not even an issue. What was weird tho back in hs I felt like I was the only one being judged about choices back then (by certain people), and these same people that judged me wouldn't judge others. Like wtf. What was different about me that I had to be judged on the same choices and not others?

People suck. Didnt Adriana Lima wait until marriage too? I don't know why people care and invested in other peoples personal lives.

I'm pretty sure people had spread some rumors about me too, if so that may explain why guys probably didn't want to date me/talk to me. And so what if someone is lesbian. It's 2016, I don't understand why people care so much about someones orientation.

 

Same thing happened to me! Everyone said me and my bff at the time were lesbians. It was really damaging to both of us because we were both figuring out that we weren't straight so having people call us lesbians (and other things...) like it was some super gross thing really messed us up. It took me forever to accept that I'm queer and I think a lot of it has to do with that. Growing up in a small town filled with rednecks was awful.

 

Small towns can be so damaging. I hope kids now have a bit of an easier time? Idk homophobia seemed just like the norm growing up. Watching shows that take place in the mid 00s and earlier is so jarring with all the casual homophobia. Not trying to say it's all peachy now but idk im glad there's more awareness and outlets for ppl and I hope it gets better. Small towns are like 100 years behind everyone else tho so that sucks

 

I know in my little cousin's friend group, a lot of them still think it's no big deal to use homophobic slurs. But unlike when I was growing up, people will actually call them out for it. It was a really, really big problem and why I never was open about it. There were a few girls who were openly lesbian/bi and the amount of bullying they received was so fucked up. But my hometown was just completely behind on just about everything, and most people I went to school with still seem to be judging by the gross shit they post on fb (or did before I got sick of it and deleted them lol)

Also kinda off topic but talking about small towns: It was so dumb but I think the thing I was bullied most about was being a vegetarian. Everyone took it like some personal insult. But my school was so redneck, the first day (or first Monday? I feel like it was always a Monday...) of hunting season was a "holiday" and everyone got the day off so they could go hunt....So glad I don't live there anymore lol

 

man we must be from the same town lol. Glad you escaped!

 

I'm about two months out from school starting again, and I'm scared it's all going to come apart again and this time I won't be able to stop myself

 

So I'm currently giving some very serious thought to packing up my life and moving to the other side of the world.
I'm not sure if this is still related to the last manic episode I had, but right now, nothing sounds more appealing than moving away, getting a fresh start somewhere, away from all the bad memories I have here.