Mental Health Thread • Page 241

I cry every once in a while. Rob's "crying mentally" thing describes it pretty well for me. Although lately I've been feeling teary at everything which is a sign I'm not taking my meds regularly

 

i feel like i could use a good cry, but over something like a movie. i mean, sure, i could look at my bank account and think of my credit card debt and if i try hard enough that would make me cry, but that wouldn't be therapeutic, it would be just out of sadness. if i cry, i'd want it to be out of happiness or because of a form of entertainment like a song, movie, show, etc.

all of this makes me think of the episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where Deborah cries just to cry and let emotions out and Ray doesn't understand at all, tries it and ends up dancing

 

this has been happening to me way too often lately. the worst

 

I’m really sorry to hear that, Adam. I had no idea. I thought things had improved since the last time we talked. I’m always here tho any time that you need to vent. and I fucking mean that, man. you’ve been there for me so much that I am literally always in your corner and I hope you know that. be well

 

Thank you both for the kind thoughts and words. This was my first wife though, who I have my first son with! We haven’t been together for 5+ years! I’ll probably always miss having him daily still though! I’m still happily married to Laura!

 

it’s been almost six months since we broke up. and I still feel just as sick about all of it as I did the day it happened. I can’t believe what happened today and how cold and callous you are to me of all people. I love you so fucking much and you don’t even care about me in that way anymore it seems. you’ve moved on with your new boyfriend who you’re going to NY with next week. it all just makes me sick. if you ever did anything at all that I couldn’t deal with, I would talk to you about it incessantly until we either figured it out or decided we couldn’t be together anymore. but I got none of that. you just discarded me like a piece of garbage. I never thought someone who I love so much and that loves me would ever treat me this way. it all still feels like some bad dream I’ve yet to wake from. I think I’m worse every day, this should be getting easier but it’s all just so much harder now. I know I should listen to people when they tell me you’re not the one because someone who really loves me would never have done any of the things you’ve done to me but I just love you too much. I can’t even try to try to get over you. I really do feel like we were made for one another, and I doubt I will ever meet anyone like you ever again. I just feel like I had my shot at happiness and now it’s gone and I’ll never be happy or find someone I love like I do you ever again. all I want is this sinking feeling in my stomach to go away. I just want to be able to hear a stupid love song on the radio and not be distraught as a result, I want to not have still-frames of the places we’ve been and the things we’ve done randomly pop into my head all the time. I just want to be okay again and I don’t see that happening. I have no hope anymore. you were my hope. when I told you I was planning on killing myself right before I met you, I know you think I’m just being dramatic but it’s true. you saved my life, you saved me and then you threw me away. you gave me a life worth living and then you made it so I don’t even want it anymore. I don’t even know what to do anymore. I’m a prisoner to my thoughts and to my feelings about you, and you don’t even care. I told you yesterday when you were laying in my bed with me that there’s no one in this world who gets me like you do, who I know has my back and is always there for me, who is always my friend and that’s one of the saddest thoughts I can even conjure. to think I have no one else in this whole world who really gets me the way you do, and to know you know my heart through and through and yet you still threw it away, I’m just beside myself. I truly don’t know what to do anymore

 

Trav I dealt with some brutal heartbreak a few years ago, and for a few months I kept communication open and it kept the wound raw and fresh. In no way is it easy, but you need to cut off contact with her 110% and only then will any kind of healing take place. I know exactly how you feel brother, i'm sure a lot of us do and i'm so sorry you have to feel it. I know the hopeless feeling like you will never meet anyone again and nothing will ever be like what you had but I absolutely promise there are so many great opportunities out there in life and in the people we can meet. Stop beating yourself up over this, but please if you take any of my advice, just completely cut this girl out of your life. It is so important. Please reach out to me anytime, I really mean it, I talk to people all day about problems similar to this, and I have experience myself. You're an awesome guy. Remember that.

 

Just had my first panic attack today! Yay! While i was driving no less. couldn’t breath.couldnt feel arms or legs. They were like paralyzed. Luckily i was able to pull over. Thought I was going to die lol then the Ambulance/hospital/ all that Jazz. Shaking like a maniac. Took about two hours to come out of it fully.

Scary shit. Hoping it’s not a continuing thing cuz that was awful. Don’t know how people deal with that on a consistent basis.

 

thank you, Dan. that means so much to me

 

Mine is usually once a week and its typically Saturday mornings. Its ok to cry buddy. Trust me!

 

I had no idea this was going on. sending you a zillion hugs buddy!

 

yeah it helps sometimes, sure

 

Thanks- see my response to a couple other users above. I guess I should've worded my original post a little better! haha

 

haha of course i'm late to the game here.

 

So I had another panic attack. Not fun. So I’m thinking about therapy. This may be a silly question but other than just searching on google for one anybody have any recommendations for how to find somebody good or you just gotta try out different people?

Like I’m very into eastern philosophy type stuff that I might respond to better. Idk. Idk if that even matters. Basically is their a tinder for therapists or something? Lol

 

within the past week i was thinking i should make an appt with my psych but $40 copay, meh can't swing that. I feel better now maybe

 

so I got my new job and I am doing really good and they promoted me after like 3 weeks and wow life is good

 

Monday is going to be a year since the first person I ever loved died. And I can still remember the voice of the detective on the phone telling me that this person was gone. Forever. The last time I spoke to this person was a year ago today, when he told me how much fun Trick or treating was with his 9 year old. He was still a huge part of my life and we talked once a week on the phone for the last 10 years.

I lost my grandparents too early last year. And then my cat, who I got as a baby when I was dating him.

I really have no effing clue how I am even still alive right now. I had so many dark times this year. Shit I never even thought would ever enter my mind. My mom keeps saying "I have never met someone who lost so much in such a short time. I don't know where you get your strength from Julie."

Sorry to tell ya mom, but that wasn't strength, that was pure depression and basically i gave up giving a shit about anything. That was me not being able to get my zoloft filled and gave me no choice but to deal with 2 months of withdrawal, mood swings, thoughts of hurting myself, lots and lots of fucking tears, my fiance looking at me with his big beautiful blue eyes with sadness because he can't fix me, a huge ugly fight with my brother which then lead to me totally shutting that side of the family out for a good two months (at which during this time my great aunt died.)

I get a lot of shit for talking about my age here and all that, but its because the person I was 10 years ago, I fucking miss that girl. Life wasn't perfect but I was happy. I wish I could be that level of happy now.

I just had to get this all out instead of crying at work right now.

 

reminders!

 

I’m so overwhelmed with everything. I wish I had someone to talk to. No one wants to hear the same song and dance over and over though. So I’m alone.

 

I’m so fucking tired of being me

 

A really rad, strong, powerful woman? Please never get tired of that!

 

I feel ya but also I love ya