Mental Health Thread • Page 205

Awesome! I'm thinking i should because I have encountered a few amex presales and I go to shows enough that perk is prob worth it, in addition to the other perks

 

If you have any questions that you wouldn’t necessarily want public about it, feel free to message me. I can also refer you in to get special offers and whatnot if you decide to go that route.

 

-On Sunday, friend #1 asks to hang out with me and friend #2
-We agree on tonight
-Friend #2 cancels just a few hours ago because they have a paper due tomorrow but suggests doing something next week
-Friend #1 informs me of this, and then I’m like “well are you busy too or would you still want to do something tonight”
-They say yeah sure, let’s try for 8 - this was at about 6
-I say sure, then ask what they want to do
-No response. I message them again at 7:50
-They immediately respond and say they’re actually just gonna stay in tonight

Do things like this happen to anyone else constantly? Because I swear it happens to me all the time, and I get so fucking depressed every time it happens. It’s not as if I’m like “I could’ve totally been doing something else this whole time” because I likely wouldn’t have, but it absolutely makes me feel disposable. I’ve always felt like I’m always on the periphery and this kind of stuff reinforces it. Like I don’t think I’ve *ever* willingly cancelled in someone at the last minute. That just feels so disrespectful to me, idk

 

I have a friend that does this constantly and I feel absolutely terrible and disposable every time. Sorry u had to deal with that. I don't even have advice or anything cause it happens to me and its upsetting. I've started initiating way less with those people and the few times I do I go in assuming it won't work out so I'm not disappointed

 

I wish it was just one specific person so I could go in with that mindset with them but it’s more general, like a person who is otherwise reliable will pull it and I just don’t understand doing it

 

Congrats @Kiana :)

Haven't really been in this thread this week. Just got back home from the conference and my first week in the job. Thought I did OK considering everything is super technical and way over my head. But as soon as I get home, the anxiety fucking punches me hard. This apartment still isn't really home or anything. I have my bed/nest set up and that feels comfortable, but little else. I've spent more time in a hotel room than I have here. It'll take time, but holy hell am I tired of this stress and anxiety.

I'm already a super anxious person, but this additional load is going to ruin me.

 

they found his body.

 

I'm feeling very down today and I feel like it's a self fulfilling thing. Like I should be feeling good and ready to enjoy my weekend but instead I'm making myself dwell on things and I just feel so sad. And it gets in the way of me engaging with people, like I'm not really present.

 

i have the amex gold card and yeah, it's great!

 

You can't control your brain, Lord knows I try, but yeah it's the worst when you feel like you should be enjoying yourself but can't

 

Maybe. I do feel like it's my fault somehow, like I'm making myself feel bad for some reason

 

Nah man. That’s just your brain, man. It’s a fucking battle. You’re a great dude, just in a slump. Let any of us know if you need anything.

 

I don't share stuff like this too often with people close to me, but I guess some feelings are getting stirred up with hearing about Scott from Frightened Rabbit and listening to Floating in the Forth and it's making me realize a few things. For some reason it seems more beneficial to share it all here to strangers than to throw it at people around me.

I spend most of the cold months (Chicago is ruthless) looking forward to the warm months so I can get into a better headspace, but over the past few years I find myself feeling disappointed that life still isn't "living up to my expectations" when better weather rolls around. It's like I have so much to look forward to and yet something is weighing me down.

I don't think I've ever suffered from actual suicidal ideation, thankfully, but my lust for life seems to be...different from what it once was. I'm lethargic in moments of conflict. I used to fight for what I believed and feel emotionally impacted by what was happening around me, and now I just find myself nodding, tight-lipped, waiting for it to blow over. It feels bad. Despite not feeling suicidal in any way, I often feel (even on my good days) that it wouldn't be a huge loss if something happened to me. I understand that I have people who love me, but I used to live in a way that made me crave the next day and now I feel mostly disenchanted. Very little that excites me, I just follow the same routine. I can engage the things I like casually on the weekends, but by that point I feel so out of sorts that I can hardly concentrate and just kind of meander through my days, disappointed again that I haven't accomplished anything I've hoped for.

I can attribute it to a lot of things, but maybe on an immediate level it's coming to terms with a lack of religious faith that I grew up with and overall disappointment with letting go of almost everything I was passionate about for years in order to find stability (and now that I have said stability, I'm too deep in to turn around.) Life just isn't what I thought it would be as I get dangerously close to 30 and I don't know how to fix it. Worse even, I don't know if there's anything to fix at all. Maybe this is just what it all is and I'm ill-prepared for it.

 

@Kiana make sure AmEx is accepted in your city / stores you go to. A lot of places don't take AmEx which can make it pretty worthless (although if you can't use it anywhere maybe that will be a good thing because then you don't have to worry about putting a bunch of charges on it haha)

 

Spent 6.5 hours in the DMV today. 2 hours of that after it closed. Got new plates and my RealID squared away but holy fuck.

Spent the time frustrated and listening to Frightened Rabbit. That was some shitty news to start the day. :(

 

Can’t wait to get out of my job. Half the staff doesn’t do sh*t and just sits around while I’m doing most of the work. Nobody documents the things that need documentation and that they don’t even get in trouble!! My last location they were on us about documentation and we would get scolded if we forgot something to the point where one section they told us if there was a hole we’d get written up. Also staffing is terrible and as I mentioned before if night shift calls off evening shift has to stay if they can’t find a cover... it’s hard to find a cover let me mention that. One of the managers is lazy and doesn’t like to to anything and sits sound not doing her job and doesn’t answer their phone ever (actually this is most management). It’s like they purposely never answer or return your call so they don’t have to come in. Still searching for jobs because I can’t do this any longer and I keep complaining but I need to vent sometimes

 

Really wish I could calm down already. So tired of this constant anxiety. I haven't really had much time to settle yet and just want this place to feel like home. Ugh.

 

I don't want to go back to Philadelphia tomorrow. I want to stay home.

 

Timehop is such a double edged sword. Lately it’s just been bad, and today was basically the reminder that my life p much fell apart one year ago today so now I just want to spend the day hiding in bed

 

5 hours and a nap later and my cat is the only reason I’m not killing myself todsy is where I’m at

 

Yeah I tried for a few days to let my emotions settle but this site and some of the people on it are really starting to get to me. I need to stay in a couple threads and only interact with people who are rooting for me in life. Which includes this thread. But hardly any others.

 

always here your you bud

 

Doing any better a few hours later?

 

Marginally lol

 

Every show about people in their 20s & 30s makes me wish I had a tight group of friends that were always together. Another example of TV setting unrealistic expectations