Mental Health Thread • Page 201

awesome! haha yeah i know what you mean about the car (and i had my three cats in my car the whole way lol)

where'd you end up finding an apartment?

 

Ended up with an apartment in Pleasant Hill, just right outside Walnut Creek. I couldn't find anything within my range in WC, but really loved the area with all the trees, so I found what I could close by. The place is like 8mins from the BART, so I can just walk there and it's like a 45-minute commute.

Much better than what it almost was. I originally found a place in Pittsburg, but it would be a much longer commute and wasn't anywhere close to the BART, so it would have been an extra 15 minutes (at the quickest), plus the extra cost of parking.

Excited to be done with the move. Just in time to, the 100-degree weather hits my area tomorrow, haha.

 

oh nice! i'm so glad that worked out.

also, it's gorgeous here right now and will continue being gorgeous throughout this weekend - mid to high 70s and sunny

 

Thanks! I was literally about to give up and just accept living in Pittsburg, but like late Monday lucked out with the PH place. They only showed me the place because they had a cancellation, but told me to apply like immediately if I wanted the place because they had a call from someone else interested.

I'm excited! Really enjoyed the weather when I was out there last weekend.

 

I help people get jobs as part of my job. They ALWAYS think they blew the interview.

 

Do u blow it if u upload the wrong cover letter and then realize a week later and upload the correct one and hope they didn't notice? Cause if I get an interview and they bring it up I need a good spin lol

 

Haha hmmmmm. I don't think it would make a difference if you're a friendly soul like I know you are!

 

"it says here you have a great attention to detail, however..." lol my nightmare

 

I an convinced they are laughing at me in a room somewhere!!

Haha luckily I have never even pretended to have that as a skill

 

Ok I just checked and it said first review of applications is may 7th so they hadn't seen it yet, right?? Right?

 

You are so okay. There is no way they are laughing at you. It was a slight technical error.

 

When I was applying to jobs, I didn't bother with cover letters (if their system even had the option). Got like a lot more outreach then. Was interesting.

 

This one required a resume, application, philosophy of education, cover letter, and transcripts. I feel like at that point im bound to mess up it's so much!!

 

Having another very bad day

 

I'm struggling a lot with week with feelings of inadequacy, like I just am not good enough in so many ways. I'm not charismatic enough, I give up too easily, I'm not talented or interesting, etc etc. Feels like I'm stuck in life because of who I am and wish I was someone else. It doesn't feel great.

 

Buddy you're very charismatic but I feel you and unfortunately don't have advice

 

RT
There’s plenty of people here who find you plenty adequate!

 

I recently realized how unpleasant I am. I ran into a childhood friend and my feelings of insecurity came back. She was always gorgeous and charismatic and has tons of friends. I feel like I make things a competition in my head like I need SOMETHING over her. So me being a jerk was like ha i graduated and she never did so I had a grown up job and was moving up in the world. Except while I was miserable doing that she was going on all these vacations and living life and she may not have a career but she makes more than I did, works less, and seems to enjoy life. I think part of me has always been bitter that she's so charming and charismatic and her family is wealthy and she can coast in life with minimal effort because she's so likable, while I've put in a ton of effort to get where I am and always feel in the shadow. She was always irresponsible and doing the least while i tried to be responsible and do things the "right" way and i guess the Nice Guy in me felt the tables would turn one day and they never did. I'm sure her perspective is totally different on the situation, grass is always greener, etc. But I feel like I'm so used to always living in someone's shadow and I have in turn become resentful and not a great person. I'm probably mostly mad at myself because my anxiety gets in the way of a lot of opportunities and I hold myself back. Either way I'm tired of feeling yucky and resentful.

 

I think I have something similar to separation anxiety, and I'm trying to learn how to handle it, but it's been hard.

 

Some days are all cool and confident like patriarchy isn't gonna keep me down I'm not succumbing to a society that tells women they need to alter themselves to look beautiful and I'm not gonna normalize that industry!! And other days I'm like... how long do I have to save up to afford plastic surgery??? Today is one of those days and it suuuucks. It just takes like one bad picture and then all I see are flaws for the rest of the day

 

I think you're all amazing, wonderful, beautiful humans.

 

That's appreciated, I feel pretty down on myself currently

 

Welp, I met with my boss today about my future at the dispensary in the marketing department. She used the words "hiring freeze" and basically said I can keep interning, doing B2B and B2C blog posts like I am now, but that's all there is, for probably at least 6 months. And that the CEO's son is doing a job that I could do but he's the CEO's son sooooo yeah. And that she hasn't had a raise since she's been there. She also mentioned 2 things, one that an email I sent the other day wasn't appropriate for me to send (basically stay in your lane, dude, you're just an intern), and that when I didn't follow up on a possible retail job after she talked to the retail manager with me = me flaking and making her look like a flake.

So I feel fuckin great right now, let me tell you what

I think if I can prove some type of ROI for my efforts that'd help, but it's not every day you feel like your dreams just died and you're back at square one. My therapist says that's my depression talking, and I know she's right, but that voice in my head is loud.

 

you're an incredibly kind, funny, honest individual and I'm happy to have the privilege to shitpost with you on this website.

 

I feel like I'm failing at my job literally everyday. Then little things happen that remind me that people think I'm doing a good job and it's not something I'm failing at. So you sent an email someone didn't want you to send, oh well. Happens. And you missed a chance to follow up, that happens, too. Your dreams aren't dead; you're still at the dispensary and even though you're an intern they wouldn't hesitate to let you go if you weren't doing things up to what they want. So you're clearly doing well enough to stay. It's not as bad as you may think it is. The voice in the head fuckin' sucks, though, bud. Like, a lot.