Mental Health Thread • Page 169

I had my first therapy session last night, and it went really well. Basically laid out for her my issues and their genus, and she told me to jot down a list of all the other things I want to get off my chest for the next session and to write down a list of goals that I'd like to achieve at the end of all of this. Also, I dunno if this is true of all therapists but she had the most soothing voice ever. Like a female Morgan Freeman.

 

Ever heard of ASMR?

 

Therapist office never called me back smh so I'll probably call the other one.

Went into work for a few hours today and ugh. It's an optional work day and I officially go back next week but omg I was there for like 15 minutes and couldn't deal. Idk if I'll las thru May for my mental health

Also currently overthinking a text. Im telling myself that I'm misinterpreting it because they have no reason to act rude towards me, but I'm still arrrrgh about it and annoyingly feel super anxious and can't think about anything else. Y is my brain this way

 

Meh. I was about to call the other office in town yesterday when I googled their number and saw they were only rated two stars and it scared me away. I might look into ones in the town 45 minutes away which is still annoying but idk what else to do at this point. Part of me is glad I'm looking now because I can't imagine this struggle if I was more fragile. It's a pain and defeating.

 

Did the reviews say why it was rated so low?

 

They were kinda vague just saying it wasn't good. Which is tricky cause there are lots of therapists in that office and none specified which one(s) they disliked so idk. Just makes me nervous. I know sometimes it involves shopping around and it's ok not to find the right one on the first try but it adds to my skepticism. Part of me doesn't think any great doctor would even practice here because why would u - doesn't pay much here, so I think I naturally am hesitant of any in my town.

 

Totally understandable. The shopping around sucks I had a REALLY bad psychiatrist before I found my current one, but she's the best ever

 

They wanna test my Dad for the same thing that took my Grandpa... Goddamnit.

 

its hard meeting ppl that understand how I warp the mental health shit that i suffer through into strength, like... if all this can hit and still finesse it... i can enjoy the bend but not break and find strength there. ive always had a complex angle of understanding and i feel for me to be understood from a romantic angle I need that, i'm not special for dealing with mental health, but I should be special to who wants to be my partner (esp since ill own my flaws and wanna help partners on theirs; but ill pour endless love to those who supply the same (well, or say they will and I stay waiting on,) and wanna help in return as I always would too..... its just been too one sided.).... I'm finally learning that now. i cant keep condemning myself to anything else.

 

I can't say that it's been a good year. There have been highlights (the concerts I went to), and my loved ones do make me smile every day. And yet, I have no purpose in life, my grades fell a lot this year and I had many discussions about how to fix it. I still haven't enrolled in the course I want and it might be too late now. I know what I'm like though, once things get too hard I get so overwhelmed and never hand in anything on time. But to be a music journalist, or get into promotion, or management, anything in music, is my dream. I have to work hard to get there but I can't! I fall over as soon as I try! Im a fucking academic failure and I don't see how that will improve next year. Finding out that people who helped me through my darkest times (Jesse Lacey...) are monsters has been really difficult to deal with. Also struggled more with depression for the first time in years. Just feel flat and not proud of myself at all. However, the friends I've made on this site this year have been the most supportive, fun friends I could ever ask for. I'm devastated I'm so far away from everyone. I'm relieved this year is over and with luck I'll get my life together in 2018

 

1. I'm looking forward to being able to grow a better beard in 2018, because this facial dysphoria has got to go.

2. Soooo I woke up soaking wet from night sweats this morning. Drenched. It's so gross. I did a search and welp, everything I do contributes to them, apparently:
"what can i do about night sweats" - triggers:

1. smoking and inhaling secondhand smoke.
2. wearing tight, restrictive clothing.
3. using heavy blankets or sheets on your bed.
4. drinking alcohol and caffeine.
5. eating spicy foods.
6. being in warm rooms.
7. experiencing excess stress.

 

Night sweats were the second worst symptom of withdrawal I got, worst being restless leg syndrome. But the night sweats last past initial withdrawal and I'd wake up in a puddle for a solid two weeks

 

the only time i've ever had them is med withdrawal so this is throwing me off

 

Didn't know where else to post this... I enrolled in benefits during the time I was supposed to (even printed out my confirmation). I even received cards for medical, dental and vision. Recently I received something in the mail saying my "confirmation" of what I enrolled in and nothing was listed! Looks as I chose not to enroll. Yet when I look it up, it says I have no benefits listed (dental web site and even medical). The company website doesn't even show anything for "future". This really worries me that the head corporate benefit office or something messed up and now I may have to find a new job and find coverage from them. I have appointments I need to make.

 

I don’t even know where to begin.

 

I wish everyone a happier and more successful 2018. We need it...

 

2017 was only half way good to me... the last half. I met my bf and got a new job. The first have ended in tragedy. And it will be a while before I can say I'll be ok from it

 

Something relatively small has ruined the first day of the new year for me. Good to know some things don't change

 

That would be nice! Hopefully tomorrow is better

 

My anxiety is really high right now. I checked my benefits center today and no everything is gone that was there earlier this morning. Still can’t find anything on other sites. My print out says effective today. Had to email them and since it’s a holiday I won’t hear back until tomorrow. I don’t know what to do

 

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Sounds like someone messed up and these kind of things can literally be life and death. I hope it gets sorted out soon!

 

That’s what I looked liked. But it also doesn’t make sense since my cards were received and nothing was taken out of my check for the remainder of 2017, confirmation says start of 2018. I get paid Friday and can’t wait that long to see if anything was taken out of my check. And too anxious to wait for a response to my email. I don’t want to have to get alternative coverage because medical is over 500 a month compared to what I wouldn’t be paying is around 100 per check. Hope it’s get sorted out soon too! Thanks!

 

ive been complimented a lot lately from my hair, to eyebrows to nails, style, etc and ive never been a.. shallow or fickle person... but is been nice to see the opposite sex see my angle in the world and appreciate my presentation.... I felt strapped to fam, friends & lovers who never understood for years.... its kinda cool to have that be an attention grabber lol.
I'm tired of hearing I'm "gay" for being fluid... I just like being pretty like my shorty lol..... whoever that is.

im not one to stroke myself at all... but lately life has tested me a lot and its just nice realizing all my efforts arent totally misunderstood. I can only paint who i am to the world.... still learning to accept those that grasp vs. those i want to though. Theres where the sigh comes in and all ya can do is continue.

and i still love who im still waiting to appreciate all that.... all these years later, all these options denied, later.

 

Return to work on Wednesday and just, fuck, I really don't want to. Hoping I hear something from the place I interviewed with because I don't know how long I can continue to work where I do. I just simply don't want to be there in any form anymore.

Not really doing resolutions for the year, but do have goals I'd like to accomplish:
1. get a new job I can at least not hate.
2. eat healthier and lose some weight
3. start saving money and stop buying shit I don't need

 

Benefits center still doesn't show anything and nothing is displayed for the end of last year (makes sense). I still have my confirmation print out with the confirmation number. Tried looking for another way to view them and it says I have no coverage which I know is not true and I'm thinking they messed up somehow and I don't want it to be a situation where they messed up and I'm stuck with no coverage because of them. But I'm sure there is a way for them to override the system somehow? And again it doesn't make sense since I was given all cards, yet the individual websites don't show coverage for me or can't find me in their system. Have to wait for a response to my email ticket tomorrow hoping they reply quickly. Still really anxious.