Mental Health Thread • Page 117

I have my share of basically dangerous psychology professors in my town, strangely all teaching psychoanalysis. Can't wait until I get out of here, and I hope your professor will be suspended as well.

 

We have free therapists on my campus. The principal one said the same thing, among other abysmal things about mental health. I'll never forgive her for the guilt and the shame she put on me, on my ex, and on the friends that did therapy with her as well. As someone who want to be a psychologist later, it disgusts me.

 

What idiot would voluntarily have a panic attack

 

Hope this thread helps someone in here

 

I hate when ppl comment on my diet. Usually it's my mom commenting negatively, but lately ppl at work comment how I eat healthy but now I feel like I have a weird bar to reach? Someone commented on my fries today and remarked that I usually eat healthy and then I felt kinda guilty even tho I don't think they meant anything bad. I just feel like I have to eat healthy all the time to not disappoint the weird narrative of me being healthy? And I can't stop talking about weight and health lately. Just towards myself, like I have to justify things to myself aloud. It's all a product of disordered eating but when I hear myself not able to shut up about it I annoy me so I have to be annoying those around me but I can't stop

 

Thinking of a total change in career path. I'm scared, still just thoughts at the moment - but a Bachelor of Arts (Music Industry) course sounds fantastic. Ahhhh

 

Hm. I normally am not this disassociated. Interesting.

 

I get this all the time from my parents and it pisses me off so much that I almost want to yell at them "shut up, I'm stress eating." I find that it's easier to control my diet when I'm not feeling like shit, and making me more self-conscious about how much I'm eating doesn't fucking help.

Sometimes my parents' tone is only "wow that's a lot of food" and not "wow that's a lot of food you should be more conscious of what you eat I'm only worried about your health and not about your appearance." Still makes me feel more shitty about it.

 

My mom def gave me a complex about ppl commenting on my food. I don't eat with my parents unless I'm eating out with them and if I eat out I usually get something unhealthy cause it's a treat. In my day to day I eat more reasonably. But like let me live. And yeah it's never even faux health concern with my mom. It's straight up vanity bs. Her father also comments negatively on my diet (when he eats nothing but frozen t.v. dinners) so I'm guessing it was passed down to her but it's so toxic and I watch really hard to try not and do it to others. But i think when I obsess over my own deal it makes others around me feel negatively too. Like it has to, so I need to stop.

 

Therapy starts tonight.

Idk what to expect, since the last time I went was pretty pointless.

Hopefully she can help me find a way to feel normal again.

 

Thursday should be my escape with my girl and I starting our life together... that said as amped and excited for that as I am I'm sadly PAINFULLY used to shit blowing up in my face so in ways I've called upon that dark, smile in the face of all things back to make sure I'm okay regardless how this goes.
Not said a thing to my girl about it but I'm use to my life failing in key moments. I trust her, I believe it'll happen, I love her.
That said.... as someone who's been ruined numerous times before I go that side on call. In ways I've already accepted my 'Please, test me' position.




Perhaps it's toxic in other ways (hence why I avoided sharing it with my lady) but my cold, dark side is the ultimate "We have nothing, and we could beat others into the dirt or leave (life) for good just as easily without feeling" side. I hate having to juggle both times in times like this. But at times I feel so strong in face of knowing a failure now (with my lady) should ruin me.... but tbh its like I'm at this level of knowing if this don't work I'ma turn cold and that side who... in its own right is giving the other side it's chance first is fully waiting with a smile for its chance. OR everything works out for once and life is even better on literally every level.

Fuck mental health in some ways,I just wanna be happy right now. But sadly in other ways its prepared me for the worse in other situations. Agh, life.

 

Just venting. I've mentioned before my wife and I have been living apart for over 10 weeks now. I just found out she booked a long weekend trip over Father's Day; kind of butt hurt and anxious about it. She doesn't see the big deal as it's my day, not hers, but I reminded her I wouldn't be a father without her. It's a month away so I'll probably get over it, but right now it stings. It doesn't help that every little thing that happens I over analyze, and this just makes it seem like she's over it and this is destined to end in divorce.

 

a friend is being harassed by her ex, while she's doing finals. it's awful, and i don't know what i can do to help besides support her by being here for her, telling her how incredible she is as a friend and a person, making plans for the next few weeks so i can be sure she won't fall into a depressive trap, etc. it's taking such a huge toll on her and i'm so saddened because she's so wonderful. she's being manipulated by your typical bad boy that can't get over a break up and act like a dictator you know ? no wonder I'm ashamed of being a man, because that guy represents everything I hate about men.

not sure if it is the right thread, i can't find the dating/relationships one

 

you're a good friend that's important, and I feel you I feel like almost every way masculinity expresses itself is awful

 

Best bet is to be there and try and keep her active during down time be it with her or motivate her to do things to keep her out of sitting in feels. If she ain't tryna hear about how toxic the situation is unfortunately that is something you can only chip away at (do so smartly, can push people away).

Don't bother with the dude. Don't be like me on that one, more trouble than that's worth lol. Raised by women, and watching em be mistreated/abused ya whole life will do that though. Only time that level should come up is if it gets physical.

Sounds like you are being a great friend and have the perspective needed here. Unfortunately there isn't much that can be done outside of being a shoulder, ear, and hope to sprinkle in some reason to her.

 

Going to see my primary care physician today to start the process to see if anxiety or depression medication is right for me. Wish me luck.

 

My girl was telling me how she applied for her weed card today and told me when we move to Maryland I should apply too, saying she thinks with my mental health shit I could get it.
No idea how that works, guess I'll look into it. Not like I'ma buy shit off the state though, still going to the block first. But why not have the card if I can, if for nothing else to avoid any pinching from dickhead cops lmao.

 

Been really concerned for my brother lately. Got popped selling, been snorting Oxis, been super depressed and hung up by his car being fucked, owes ppl money, ppl owe him money, his girl almost died in a car accident (thank god she's fine now).. long story short, A LOT at once.
Just found out he got the job he applied for and I'm super happy for him. Had a lot of heart to hearts with him. The past year bought the brotherhood back into our reality of being brothers. From my self destructive tendencies and depression to his street shit and life shit, to the stuff with our family, to both having women in our life we know is the one and trying to make everything happen for them and us - all while trying to find our way and explain our reasons for why [in regards to so many things].

Happy for him to get a break finally though. Here's hoping this is the break he and I both been saying he's needed and he can get back to where he was prior.... cus beforehand he was the one most self sustaining, was hard to see that fall.

 

Good luck! Did this a little over a month ago and my life has changed drastically for the better.

 

This is encouraging. I really don't know what to expect at this point, but I've been going to a therapist for a year and after another rough patch he suggested that maybe I should explore this option. I kind of feel like I'm getting in the way of my own happiness a lot of the time and if medication can help that then great.

 

Well I certainly wish you the best of luck. I avoided meds for the longest time, but now that I'm on one, I'm kicking myself in the ass for not going sooner. Like..10 years sooner.

 

What would you guys do here? My therapist asked nicely again if I'd consider a meds adjustment. I agree(d) I need it checked out, and I asked for some recs. She sent them today, of course neither takes insurance, and I'm already out of network with her...$$$...but my other choice is picking one of the randoms that are listed on BCBS' website.

Basically I don't want to risk dealing with anyone who might not like that I'm trans/pull some "trans broken arm syndrome" shit. But the money...

 

I've come to find theres days I don't really know if I rather have an ending to all this or just have my come up spark off.
I've come to realize I don't really care either way. I'm super relaxed on either, and I aware maybe I shouldn't be so nonchalant about either, but... well, fuck it. I'm over the caring (outside actually making that one avenue light up) lol. Either life finesses or I finesse on outta here eventually (basically soon as I get closure on if I'm wasting my time or not).
I wish it was something I could talk through but after 20 years of pushing through I hit my breaking point. Shit changes or I retire. The game never was fun to begin with.

 

Uhhhhh I think Wellbutrin is causing me to experience tinnitus....I literally cannot stay on this if this keeps up. Which sucks because it's working really well. But if my hearing is at risk I have to stop.

 

I feel so unappreciated.