Mental Health Thread • Page 114

I appreciate it, thanks dude.

 

I feel so down all the time lately. It's exhausting.

 

I might be starting to see a light at the end of this 2+ year tunnel. Hope you all do soon too.

 

I feel like a lot of people question what their purpose is, but I don't feel like I have one at all to question? I was born and I'll live my life and someday I'll die. I happen to be here like millions of other people are and millions have before me and it just is. Like we just do stuff and then we die and the world keeps on going until we destroy it I guess. Idk if that is a depressed pov or just pragmatic

 

When you see certain photos that hurt in a way because it's bunch of people that stopped talking to you, and shut you out all because of mental illness and going through tough time. And you realize they never cared for you because you were a little different, otherwise they'd stick with you through it all and ask you how you're doing, but they don't even bother.

 

I hate my birthday. It's a day I've never enjoyed. Maybe I'll just sleep the day away.

 

I've lost 20 pounds. I'm too broke to even fucking eat, I literally live off 3 dollar snacks a day. I'll probably start selling some of my stuff for food. I have no one here. My best friend abandoned me. I'm over it guys. Can't do this shit for much longer

 

very sorry to hear that, I hope a positive change is on it's way for you

 

i'm in my bed lying down and i feel like i'm about to pass out. kinda scared. my friend is coming over to bring me food cuz if I get up i'll pass out.

 

I totally lost my desire to eat last week due to mental health issues and the effects that not eating had on me were really scary, I'm glad your friend is bringing you food and I hope your situation gets better soon.

 

thank you. it was a rough week and i've barely been eating. normally it doesn't get this bad and i would have had someone deliver but I can't even get up to go downstairs to get my wallet and I don't want to risk passing out on my staircase, done that before.

 

I think the Wellbutrin is starting to take effect. My mood has been great the last couple days and I'm not losing energy three hours into my day. I don't really hate my job anymore it is what it is and even with shitty tips I'm still averaging 11-14 an hour depending on the shift

 

happy for you. please please please if you ever go off of the meds do it the right way, just cause if you're like me I was always on and off them. I didn't think it was a big deal and quit cold turkey and ended up in the hospital. that was lexipro though which I've heard might be worse for quitting.

 

friend brought me fruit. ate a bit, puked, ate some more, and feeling a lil better.

 

Oh yeah i don't think Wellbutrin has a horrible come off period but I know not to quit anything cold turkey if I can help it. I quit heroin cold turkey this last time but I had to. With pharmaceuticals there's no reason to go cold turkey and its super dangerous

 

I had something vaguely similar in that I had convinced myself that the people in my life who weren't my family were only nice to me/hung out with me/talked to me because I would do/say things to try and make them laugh. It took me a long time to realize that's not the case. The majority of people in life don't go through the effort to fake a relationship and the rest of the population are to selfish to waste their time on it. Point is: if people are hanging out with you/talking to you/whatever, it's because they're choosing to do so.

 

@sophos34 miss you in the poli threads friend, but also fuck if its not better for a mfs health to avoid that shit.

 

I'm still putting off getting a therapist.

I'm starting to notice that my disordered eating is getting worse. I'm trying to combat it but I don't know that I'll be able to without some help. Currently prepping everything I'm going to eat in a day in the hope that doing so will keep me from eating a bunch of garbage food. I have cookies on my desk at home that I'm going to break into the garbage can so I can't eat them when I get off work.

I'm a mess. ugh.

 

Going home to get clean.

 

Yeah I had to dip out when I was attacked in there in the middle of my relapse it was so toxic and horrible I just couldn't do it anymore and I'm glad I don't post there now it's just not good for me

 

i literally can't listen to God of Wine without balling my eyes out. that song is my life rn in every sense. "can we get clean again" and the ending
"And there's a memory of a window
Looking through I see you
Searching for something I could never give you
And there's someone who understands
You more than I do
A sadness I can't erase
All alone on your face"

like fuck... being abandoned by people you love due to your demons is one of the most painful things to go through. I still haven't learned how to deal with it.

 

never fall in love when you don't love yourself.

 

I totally hear you. The, "well why you can you...," questions are incredibly frustrating and exhausting. Like yes, I'm sure people would turn off their mental illnes if it had a switch.

 

God of Wine is a song I can always count on to just shatter me

 

my transformation into the person I always wanted to be continues, and there's another thing I'm finally accepting after more than a decade, now that I love myself. i don't know how to say that, so i'll put it that way : i'm pretty sure i won't be a man forever.