Hey Now, You’re An A1lstar • Page 540

we're really being ducks to James, sorry James we haven't had our coffee

 

I'm high on red balls

 

we've had our coffee we're just waiting for the bill

 

get it

ducks have bills

 

better than blue balls

 

a duck goes to his neighborhood tavern and orders his standard scotch on the rocks
the bartender asks how he'll be he paying
the duck says just put it on my bill

 

This conversation is quackers

 

well if you like it then now I dont

 

i don't swanna talk about it anymore

 

0/10

aka a goose egg

 

sorry, i'm just very mallardjusted.

 

He has the grace of a swan, the wisdom of an owl, and the eye of an eagle. Ladies and gentlemen, this man is for the birds.

 

old as fuck, right?

 

more like ur about to get ducked on b if u dont stop

 

E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!11


















@oldjersey

right.

 

god dammit

 

waiting all week for an offer from this job is going to kill me dead

and i really wish i was the type that could stop talking about it so if i get rejected i don't have the extra embarrassment of others' expectations

but alas

i am not

 

GO BIRDS SUPER BOWL CHAMPS LETS GO

 

anyone else suffer from the thing where your Facebook memories make you want to die because of the loser you used to be

 

Yeah i had the cringy-est lyrical statuses

 

Was at breakfast the other day at cracker barrel (not my choice) and this old couple were sitting to our right and this old dude busts out this book on WWII at the table and started asking the server what she knew about it. Then said her hair was a mess and asked why she had it like that (It was in a messy bun) and she just said "it's supposed to look like that, it's a no-frills hair style" and he was like "yeah, we can tell."

Old men are the fucking worst.

I did get to hear the lady he was eating breakfast with say the phrase "I didn't like WWII much" as if it was a fucking movie. What a weird fucking morning.

 

No, that's just my own internal memories I store in my brain

 

I remember getting dumped and posting a ton of lyrics from The Black Parade

 

Hahah. Mine were mostly disgustingly love-happy statuses which is seemingly worse. And then once i just put "Surprise, Surprise" after i found out a gf cheated on me.

 

i just used to try to be as funny as possible to get validation in the form of likes from people i barely knew. so much has changed.