H*rny on MA1n II NSFW • Page 657

Shakriel · Dec 3, 2019

K0ta said:

same

iCarly Rae Jepsen · Dec 3, 2019

oldjersey said:

If you haven't recieved a teebs apology PM on here you aren't a true chorus.fm member

pretty sure I'm a true chorus.fm member

ChaseTx · Dec 3, 2019

oldjersey said:

If Cait saw my posts on here she would be 0% surprised

She may care about bork

The supreme court guy?

supernovagirl said:

Holy hell just love yourself and eat a damn chip

supernovagirl said:

Fun ruiner amber to say I know we’ve all got jokes and stuff but this is actually really disordered eating and I feel genuinely sad for anyone who engages

100% correct. If you are hungry you need to eat.

supernovagirl · Dec 3, 2019

Lmaooooo @Dirty Sanchez gonna like ALL OF MY POSTS EVER except the one saying I feel bad for your disordered eating habits lol

I’m not trying to make you feel bad or blame you or anything like that. Just have to speak up sometimes about really problematic stuff.

Ken · Dec 3, 2019

oldjersey said:

Oh Kenny you know how to get me excited

Why French Bread Pizza Never Disappoints

WHAT THE HECK is happening to pizza? Once a low-key food of the people, a paragon of nonchalant excellence, it has become the next culinary fetish. There’s the retroactive “discovery” of micro-regional styles—and have you seen the stack of new cookbooks on the subject from chefs? We’re encouraged to build pizza ovens in our backyards or buy special (read: expensive) contraptions that take up kitchen real estate most of us don’t have.

If you ask me, there’s only one type of pizza suited to home cooking, and that’s because it’s not “real” pizza and has never pretended to be. I’m talking about French Bread Pizza.

‘I do think it hits those nostalgic notes, and it’s really delicious.’

FBP can’t be claimed by any one region, though some proud residents of an upstate New York college town might refer to it as Ithaca-style pizza. In 1960 Bob Petrillose, aka “Hot Truck Bob,” started selling hot subs to Cornell students. He used the sandwich bread to make pizza too. It’s possible the folks at the Stouffer’s brand of frozen foods were aware of Mr. Petrillose’s invention. According to the legend on the Stouffer’s box, it started with a “late night post-disco” visit to an unspecified food truck, which one might assume to be Bob’s. Julie Lehman, current marketing director for Stouffer’s, relayed a second origin story: Milton Miles, an employee in the marketing department, faced a challenge regarding the brand’s garlic bread. On its own, it couldn’t support a product division. But, he reasoned, if the baguettes used for the garlicky item were split, spread with tomato sauce and topped with cheese, he’d have an adjacent snack to sell. He was going to call the saucy version an open-face sandwich but then opted for “pizza.” As Ms. Lehman, noted, “In the early ‘70s, pizza was really starting to take off in America, especially frozen pizza.”

Designed to fit in toaster ovens, Stouffer’s French Bread Pizza debuted in the freezer sections of supermarkets in 1974. Two years later, the corporation was selling $1 million worth a month. Ms. Lehman attributed some of that success to the product’s being so effectively targeted to teenagers and kids. She was one of them. So was I. Our parents didn’t eat FBP. “That was food that was uniquely mine and my brother’s and nobody else’s,” Ms. Lehman recalled. This, she said, engendered a “profound love” that has endured.

My friend Gillian Shaw, owner of Black Jet Baking Co. in San Francisco, has her own childhood memories of eating FBP. “We would think it was really quite spectacular,” she said. Today, she feels that way about the redux she and her colleague Max Newman created at the bakery. They’d begun making baguettes on the premises and wanted to use up the leftovers. What started as a goofball snack for the staff became part of Black Jet’s retail repertoire.

Theirs doesn’t stray too far from the O.G. in the red Stouffer’s box, but it does have a few bonus features. A slick of “special sauce”—mayonnaise mixed with spicy Calabrian chile paste—goes on the bread before the tomato sauce. “There’s something magical that happens where the sauce is getting invited in by the mayonnaise,” Ms. Shaw said. “It kind of melts it all in.” Mr. Newman loves cheddar, so they add some of that to the traditional low-moisture (for better melting) mozzarella.

Farther down the West Coast, food writer Karen Palmer regularly hosts a FBP pop-up in and around Los Angeles called Pain Pizza. (The “Pain” refers to both the French word for bread and the familiar searing burn to the roof of your mouth when you bite into a FBP before it’s had a chance to cool.) She swears by the baguettes at Bub and Grandma’s bakery in Silver Lake and Bianco DiNapoli canned California-grown tomatoes. “I’m updating it for sure, but still with a playful attitude,” she said. “I’m not pretending to be a master pizza maker or anything, but I do think it hits those nostalgic notes, and it’s really delicious.”

This kind of reboot is to be expected at a time when everyone’s freaking out over toast as well as pizza. FBP is where those two apotheosized workaday staples intersect.

Ms. Shaw has mastered a technique to maximize the crunch. After letting her sauced bread sit overnight soaking up its slatherings, she tops it with cheese and starts it in a 450-degree oven for a few minutes before lowering the heat to 350. This toasts the baguette perfectly and melts the cheese without over-browning it. “You want that soft bite on top and crunch on the bottom,” she said.

The tomato sauce is less of a concern. You could use one from a jar. But if you do it from scratch, you can engineer it for closer Stouffer’s verisimilitude. I started with Marcella Hazan’s four-ingredient recipe, because it has butter in it, and that struck me as appropriate for a baguette. Stouffer’s sauce is smooth, and there isn’t much of it, but it’s surprisingly flavorful. So I added a few ingredients to the pot: garlic, oregano and what might strike some as peculiar but is actually part of the Stouffer’s formula: smoked paprika. I also borrowed Ms. Shaw’s mayo trick. She’s right: The condiment acts like a primer.

Ms. Palmer likes to play around with toppings—nothing too complex, and not too many at once. Stouffer’s introduced a few trend-driven embellishments of its own in the decade following FBP’s debut: Hawaiian-style ham and pineapple, for instance, and what Ms. Lehman called “a hilarious cheeseburger with relish.” These iterations were short-lived. In the pizza category, cheese and pepperoni pies account for the majority of sales.

I’m a straight-up cheese person, myself, and I add a little aged provolone to my mozzarella for a sharper bite. You can copy my copy of the Stouffer’s classic, or spin off in your own direction. No one’s going to call you out for it, because it’s not pizza; it’s French Bread Pizza.

FBP
TOTAL TIME: 1½ hours MAKES: 8

For the sauce:

1 (28-ounce) can whole peeled tomatoes
5 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 onion, peeled and cut in half
4 cloves garlic, smashed and peeled
¾ teaspoon dried oregano
½ teaspoon smoked paprika
½ teaspoon salt

To assemble the pizzas:

2 day-old baguettes (about 20 inches long each)
½ cup mayonnaise
1½ cups shredded low-moisture, part-skim mozzarella
½ cup coarsely grated aged provolone

1. Make the sauce: In a medium saucepan, combine tomatoes, their juices, butter, both onion halves, garlic, oregano, smoked paprika and ¼ teaspoon salt. Bring to a simmer over medium heat and continue to cook, uncovered, so tomatoes break down and flavors marry and deepen, about 45 minutes. Stir occasionally, using a spoon to mash up any chunks of tomato. Discard onion halves and garlic cloves and season with remaining ¼ teaspoon salt. In a sealed container, sauce will keep up to 3 days in refrigerator and a month frozen.

2. Make the pizza: Meanwhile, cut each baguette into two 9-inch sections. Slice each section across the middle horizontally to create two equal open-face halves. You should end up with 8 pizza bases.

3. Spread 1 tablespoon mayonnaise on each pizza base. Follow with 3 tablespoons tomato sauce, per base. Let the pizzas sit for about 10 minutes so the sauce can begin to absorb before wrapping each one in plastic wrap and transferring them to the refrigerator to lie flat overnight or up to two days.

4. Preheat oven to 450 degrees. In a small bowl, toss together mozzarella and provolone. Place pizzas on two baking sheets. Scatter ¼ cup cheese mixture over each.

6. Bake pizzas 7 minutes, then reduce oven heat to 350 degrees and continue baking 7 minutes more. (You can also do this in the toaster oven, but once you reduce the heat to 350, bake for less time, about 5 minutes.) Don’t let the cheese to get too brown—it should be molten, just starting to turn golden around the edges; but you want the bread to get toasted through, so it gives you that crunchy contrast to the soft cheese.

Topping Ideas
Pepperoni • Ground Italian sausage • Caramelized onions • Sauteed mushrooms • Bacon lardons • Quickly pickled red onions drizzled with olive oil • A layer of fresh ricotta (about 3 tablespoons) spread between the sauce and the shredded cheese; optionally, finish with two or three anchovies laid over the top when the pizza comes out of the oven • Halved baby tomatoes set into the shredded cheese; finish with a drizzle of extra-virgin olive oil when the pizza comes out of the oven • A thin layer of ‘nduja spread between the sauce and the shredded cheese

For Finishing
Fresh herbs • Chile flakes • Chile oil • Calabrian chiles preserved in oil

Sean Murphy · Dec 3, 2019

iCarly Rae Jepsen said:

cliff's notes
he defended B**** N** and then acted like A1 was ganging up on him and then dmed them on their socials to apologize

honestly it wasn't even the defense of it, it was the blind faux-not comprehending the situation just bc he couldnt bring himself to be able to stop listening to the music, and needed some sort of validation to be able to keep listening and posting about them. did the same shit with p*negr*ve and the legitimate 'cycle' just continued. he never could quite grasp the "if you wanna listen to them still thats completely your decision and right to do but like dont post about it here/get upset when folks take umbrage to your posts" mentality folks kept trying to beat into him.

Shakriel · Dec 3, 2019

supernovagirl said:

Lmaooooo @Dirty Sanchez gonna like ALL OF MY POSTS EVER except the one saying I feel bad for your disordered eating habits lol

I’m not trying to make you feel bad or blame you or anything like that. Just have to speak up sometimes about really problematic stuff.

Sanch is a COWARD

GrantCloud · Dec 3, 2019

Mr. Serotonin said:

If you smell them hard enough, they will end up in your digestive system. This will in turn satisfy your cravings.

thanks for the info dr Tonin

SlappinCups · Dec 3, 2019

Dirty Sanchez said:

Ice cream too

microwave burrito

Mr. Serotonin · Dec 3, 2019

GrantCloud said:

thanks for the info dr Tonin

BlueEyesBrewing · Dec 3, 2019

Ken said:

Have you ever made your own French bread pizza? Easy as hell and sooooo much better.

No bc I'm lazy

supernovagirl · Dec 3, 2019

Shakriel said:

Sanch is a COWARD

Lol I’m not trying to make him feel bad he withheld the likes so it must be serious!!

Ken · Dec 3, 2019

BlueEyesBrewing said:

No bc I'm lazy

make the recipe I posted above and tell me I'm wrong.

Mr. Serotonin · Dec 3, 2019

supernovagirl said:

Lol I’m not trying to make him feel bad he withheld the likes so it must be serious!!

Maybe he couldn't see whether or not he liked the post. His vision could be going from the lack of carbohydrates.

Sean Murphy · Dec 3, 2019

everyone once in a blue moon in the supporters thread he still tries to spark some sort of conversation about them under the false guise of self-reflection

iCarly Rae Jepsen · Dec 3, 2019

Sean Murphy said:

honestly it wasn't even the defense of it, it was the blind faux-not comprehending the situation just bc he couldnt bring himself to be able to stop listening to the music, and needed some sort of validation to be able to keep listening and posting about them. did the same shit with p*negr*ve and the legitimate 'cycle' just continued. he never could quite grasp the "if you wanna listen to them still thats completely your decision and right to do but like dont post about it here/get upset when folks take umbrage to your posts" mentality folks kept trying to beat into him.

yeah I wasn't involved so I didn't know all the deets but I know Dylan tried very hard to talk to him

supernovagirl · Dec 3, 2019

Mr. Serotonin said:

Maybe he couldn't see whether or not he liked the post. His vision could be going from the lack of carbohydrates.

Thanks, doc, that makes sense

angrycandy · Dec 3, 2019

oldjersey said:

If you haven't recieved a teebs apology PM on here you aren't a true chorus.fm member

lmao

so true

Mr. Serotonin · Dec 3, 2019

supernovagirl said:

Thanks, doc, that makes sense

supernovagirl · Dec 3, 2019

I never received an apology from him (nor do I remember engaging in anything that would require one)
Now I feel left out

bachna84 · Dec 3, 2019

iCarly Rae Jepsen said:

@bachna84 why did the coward Larry leave?

it sounds like it’s an issue with the upper management here...

careful

oldjersey · Dec 3, 2019

supernovagirl said:

I never received an apology from him (nor do I remember engaging in anything that would require one)
Now I feel left out

Youre just not controversial enough

oldjersey · Dec 3, 2019

fuck you cant spoiler tag emojis i gotta message tate

Dog with a Blog · Dec 3, 2019

LJ left exclusively due to cummies

SlappinCups · Dec 3, 2019

bachna84 said:

it sounds like it’s an issue with the upper management here...

careful

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