Accountability in Music • Page 569

for the record the post Jake brought up about how addiction is not a mitigating factor in bad behavior was absolutely not immediately repudiated by anyone but Jake. it still has a lot of likes (including by Carrow incidentally!) and had more before Jake's post that day

 

Not only did I not say...any of that, but no answer on why the women who posted last week seemingly don't matter. Why listen to them, right? Very cool and good for the accountability thread. Y'all are crushing it.

 

Love when this thread that's supposed to be about raising awareness of bad behavior in the industry becomes the "dunk on people who care about accountability" thread, even better when a mod participates in it lmao.

This site is so beyond saving. If I didn't use it for news I'd have no reason to come here

 

If marginalized people feel like they aren't being heard, the solution is not to keep talking. It's to shut the fuck up.

 

right which is why posts like "damn you sure were silent when a marginalized person was raising an issue in here" are so damn mystifying lol

 

maybe when a conversation devolves into "my marginalized friend said this is bad" versus "well MY marginalized friend disagrees with YOURS" we can consider the fact that people in all circumstances have all sorts of opinions and while marginalized perspectives are valuable and can offer unique ways to look at specific issues, simply pointing to someone and saying "this woman said THIS, checkmate" is not particularly valuable

 

Don’t want this to go ignored. I’m sorry this happened, it beyond sucks that anything posted on this website and especially in this thread had an actively harmful effect on someone’s irl safety.

 

I’m sorry this happened to you, very glad you are still here.

 

Not only am I not dunking on anyone, I'm trying to make sure the extremely important conversation that happened last week (that y'all were noticeably absent for) in which multiple women said they felt uncomfortable posting on the site and in this thread specifically because of the overly aggressive tone being used doesn't get forgotten, and I'm doing that because I care about accountability.

People actively make the conversation about themselves in this thread and then act like it's weird that we're addressing it. Yes, the way you post is and has been a problem, as evidenced by the aforementioned conversation. And again, crickets. So do you care about how you make those people feel or are we just going to ignore that?

 

Not the first time it’s happened and likely won’t be the last. But almost everyone is silent on it when it happens. Wonder why.

 

I mean I typically don’t go replying to posts that aren’t directed at me and that I agree with bc it feels redundant? Has nothing to do with who she’s friends with — I don’t hate Anthony, I’m just frustrated that what’s happening right now is a reflection of what happened in here days ago, which he blatantly ignored and is now denying while acting like the victim for being talked about.

edit: deleted @alina’s quote bc in retrospect the post I’m responding to feels much more like a man using her as a shield to deflect blame from another man instead of actually uplifting her voice and I want nothing to do with that

 

Also did not see the post @sophos34 is referencing but it should go without saying that I value him and his voice and am so happy that he is here so we can talk about Hum and all other kinds of bullshit

 

Is this necessary? lol. Gotcha!

sorry I’m not in this thread everyday or sometimes I skip a post in the thread and then no longer follow the thread. Doing this because someone missed a post from someone is a little weird.

 

No one's asking you to check the thread every day! Truly do not care what you or anyone chooses to do with their time on this site! But yes, it is notable when the people who most consistently and aggressively post about accountability disappear as soon as a major conversation is had about how those posts have made multiple people leave the site.

 

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I had nothing to say. I was not "absent" from "the extremely important conversation that happened last week", I was reading and not posting because my perspective wasn't necessary in that conversation. I'm not going to jump in and take up oxygen when people from marginalized groups are trying to speak. It's kind of weird that you assume I just ignored what happened and didn't follow along just because I wasn't posting during it. And if I had been posting during it, right now you'd be saying I was interrupting an important conversation that was happening last week instead of listening. So I guess I can't win!

 

Don't put this on me, I didn't start this bullshit today and I didn't start it last week either.

 

Correct, no one needs your perspective in that conversation (or mine for that matter), but I just think literally any amount of self-awareness and acknowledgment about the way your posts have made multiple people feel uncomfortable to the point of not posting would be beneficial in diagnosing why exactly this shit keeps happening. Weird concept for this thread, I know.

And now I'm the one getting aggressive because I do care about this site, I do care about the voices it's comprised of, and I care about accountability, so if you really value meerkat and the others that were kind enough to tell us exactly what's made them feel uncomfortable, please consider that when posting in the future. Literally all I'm asking. I know I need to do the same.

 

Yeah I mean, make no mistake, I’m not conflating you and Anthony_Soprano haha

Okay so like... first, that explanation has nothing to do with the thing we’re talking about here, which is the thing you posted in the first place, which was the lowkey criticism you were putting on others for not addressing a (imo) very niche situation in a different thread, and how that directly lead to @nohandstoholdonto opening up a dialogue on why that type of attitude made her and other women uncomfortable posting here. That is why I only quoted the one post

But secondly... I still don’t see how “I didn’t post about it myself to let anyone know and couldn’t even find it again when I wanted to” at all warranted “this is story has been a thing for days but crickets in the 1975 thread”. Like you have to know how that looks, right?

 

These posts are all awful and I think everyone needs to take 15 minutes away from this thread.

 

You all don’t always have to win an argument. For fucks sake.

 

Ah. Alright look, if you’re not gonna accept your crucial part in starting what happened last week, then we gotta be done here. You’re avoiding reality for the sake of being “right” and have thus far deflected criticism of your actions onto both Anthony_Soprano and British pop band The 1975. Your sudden silence in a thread that you are literally never silent in speaks for itself. Sorry for the aggro first post @ you, been holding onto this frustration for a week thinking I’d just move past it but it all came up again sooner than I thought it would

 

I just found it surprising that this site, which typically has people posting news the literal second it hits the web, didn't have a single other person that heard about the story and was able to post it. Other artists, it's incredibly fast between when a story breaks and when it gets posted on here, whether that story is positive or negative. That quick access to news is the main reason I still use this site.

This site gives a special pass to The 1975 for whatever reason, that's something that I believe personally and it's something that frustrates me endlessly. So I posted something that reflected my frustration. Yeah it was a shitty thing to post and I could have worded it differently but it's how I feel and I won't apologize for that. It wasn't targeted at anyone specific and it wasn't meant as an attack on anyone specific. It's just a statement that I made into the void that is this site. And I think comparing what I said to what Anthony_Soprano said is pretty disingenuous.

 

"yeah it was a shitty thing to post but i won't apologize for it"

this site isn't a void btw

 

Not what I said at all. I said I won't apologize for how I feel, and I won't. This site gives The 1975 a pass that it doesn't give to almost anyone else. It's the truth and I'm not going to apologize for feeling that way.

 

thanks to anyone who cared about what I shared. im sorry to anyone who didn’t. won’t be back after this. hope you all can sort this out and live happier lives because this shit is straight up miserable