Accountability in Music • Page 17

I think it embodies a lot of what a lot of us feel. It’s very hard because obviously the victim is of utmost importance and should be, however it’s naive to say no one else is affected by their actions. While in no way do I find my own emotional conflict above or greater than the victim’s, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. There is no doubt that music made by bad people had a very good influence on many, many people. It’s hard to find that balance of appropriateness, especially for brand new in my personal experience. It’s a tough thing all around.

 

One of my good friends' exes was at the party where the Mac thing occurred. Very real and very bad

 

@Aaron Mook

I think I understand where you're coming from, and it's definitely been a tough year for people whose love of music keeps them grounded/sane. If I may be as bold as to say something that is not a popular opinion around these parts: don't let anyone, including yourself, trivialize your pain or emotional attachments. I see many people coming out in support of victims on these boards which is good, but I fear sometimes we go too far in prioritizing their stories that we downplay our own struggle and hurt. For what? To make sure everyone knows where we stand? To protect ourselves from making a misstep that may serve the interests of the accused and not the accuser? I don't know, everyone is their own person with their own mind they live inside, but I do know that I've never enjoyed playing the "Who has it worse?" game. One person's pain does not mean another's is invalidated. If A > B, that doesn't mean B doesn't exist. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm very glad our scene is taking a turn in a positive direction in calling these things out and believing victims - but please do not say things like "What I feel right now doesn't matter compared to the women who are suffering." Your feelings do matter. They do, and they'll catch up with you if you try to bury it right now.


Something my girlfriend said to me last week hit me really hard re: Brand New. We've been talking about it non-stop of course, and I asked her how she's doing lately. Her response was, "It's hard. If it wasn't for this band, I wouldn't be alive. You and I would have never met."

 

I disgree re: going too far in prioritizing the victims' feelings/stories -- it's clear they have it worse -- but I agree with your general sentiment that these things take time to process and it is 100% okay to go at your own pace, mourn, and imperative that we allow others to do the same -- especially if there is a connection between someone and an artist involving mental health/self-harm. In that respect, I appreciate your thoughts, sincerely.

Gonna leave that post up, but I'm also going to dip out for a bit, not that it matters. Just need some time to break away from all of this and reboot before work. Appreciate the discussion everyone.

 

Yeah I think comparing my own feelings to that of the victims is silly.

It hurts that some of the artists that helped me when I struggled with self harm and depression have turned out to contain people who have done such things, such as Brand New, Turnover (although I think that was dealt with better and restored my faith in the band somewhat), Moose Blood, Neck Deep.

Yes it hurts with bands like this and my emotional attachments to them, but to compare them to the victims seems to trivialise what they have gone through. In the future only the Jesse Lacey thing will probably stick with me in a big way. Each and every one of the victims, from the MB girl who had nudes stolen, to the Turnover drummer's manipulated ex-girlfriend, will live with the repercussions and issues it causes for them personally for a long time.

It doesn't mean my feelings don't exist, but it's a different thing entirely and the victims take priority.

 

XXXTentacion Jailed After Being Charged With 7 New Felonies

 

Good riddance.

 

Harassing her even after everything he’s done just shows he has zero remorse. It makes me so angry, and sad for her.

 

Oh wow. I was worried that he would just somehow get away with all this

 

Sleep cancel Australian tour after booker was accused of sexual misconduct

 

Damn got a sinking feeling when I saw Sleep mentioned, good on them though

 

So question for you all. Its becoming apparent with some of these accusations that it is not just the artists that are being accused of sexual misconduct/sexual assault, but also promoters, bookers, tour managers. Something that comes up a lot in regards to bands is that the artist should not be able to return to their platforms back because they took advantage of them. Do you at all feel differently about promoters and how they abuse their position? Do you see them having a platform, similar to artists, that they tend to take advantage of despite that platform not being the central focus of the concert/music experience? How do you feel they're similar/different

My apologies if I didn't articulate the question as accurately as I would have liked to, just thought it'd be an interesting topic of discussion here.

 

They can probably get away with more without getting caught. But they definitely have a similar platform and should be handled the same way IMO.

 

Wow the previous page of people putting Tyler's immaturity on the same level as real abuse is fucked up

 

Oh come on don’t be like that it clearly wasn’t presented that way

 

It did read that way, tbh.

 

There's clearly levels, and it is a problem that Tyler has never really atoned for being hugely homophobic and saying generally fucked up shit, besides stopping and trying to ignore it. But that's not anywhere near the abuse a lot of these artists have been doing, who have then rightfully had their platforms taken away.

 

Yes it was

 

I don't think it remotely read like that. Even if it did, one could use common sense and realize that people weren't equating the two at all.

 

Plus I've been over many times why digging up years old tweets as gotchas is dumb and accomplishes nothing like when it happened to kerry mccoy and I was forced to out myself in order to have my opinion taken into consideration but hey who remembers the worst month of my life better than me

 

I literally thought there were allegations against Tyler I hadn't heard of til people just started bringing up old tweets. It was presented like that.

 

Now this I absolutely agree with. Digging up dumb shit people said does literally no good at all. It may be one thing if they still presented themselves in that way but if they've clearly changed and progressed, which everyone agrees he has, I don't get the point. I don't like brushing off troubling statements from 20 year olds as "immaturity," but when that 20 year old is now 27 it's a weird fight to try and have haha

 

Immaturity isn't tied to an age, it's possible at any age

 

True, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be checked.