2019-2020 NFL Season Thread [ARCHIVED] Football • Page 831

Fold. You god damn savages.

 

titans are shit

don't quote

 

I crumple and I stand and there’s nothing @CarpetElf can do to stop me

You never ever ever get poop on your hands if you stand and crumple. That’s the most important thing imo.

If you have an especially messy poop there’s a sink right there. Just wet the toilet paper and get it all out like a bidet

 

I also will openly state that standing to wipe is not as bad as peeing in the shower so *painting nails emoji*

 

I don’t want to stand where I peed @CarpetElf

I don’t want to sit where I peed @oldjersey

And I definitely am not putting my hand anywhere it could accidentally touch residual poop on the side of the toilet bowl @Dinosaurs Dish

I am an emblem of bathroom purity

 

worse.

 

You are an emblem of bathroom idiocracy because none of these things happen ever

 

See above post

 

Randall probably pees in the ocean and doesnt think that's worse than peeing in the shower

 

he called the shit poop

heh

 

Omg it LITERALLY isnt

Ocean water sanitizes urine INSTANTLY

Urine can stain a tub or a toilet if it isn’t cleaned often enough

 

YOURE PEEING ON YOURSELF VERSUS PEEING INTO NOTHING OH MY GOD YOU ARE DEVOID OF THOUGHT AND I HATE YOU

 

Thought I was ready to return to the NFL thread today but some of y’all need god

 

Can someone fill me in on what's going on with Ben Allbright on Twitter?

 

I cannot.

 

God cant save Randall.

 

Peeing on myself what the fuck lol! That’s not how that works. Obviously I don’t just pee IN my swim trunks. I make sure absolutely nobody is nearby and I whop it out underwater, and I move backwards as i pee. It gets washed far away from me by the current and sanitzed in literally less than a second

 

What is one’s seated ass wiping technique like that makes standing the preferable option? You lean to one side while seated, lifting one cheek off the seat, then you have both cheeks naturally spread, reach from behind under your lifted half of ass, and easy cleanup takes place. Then your hand is already in position to drop the paper into the bowl in one fluid motion. Your hand and arm should not be making contact with any water, or toilet seat, so I don’t know what the issue is here and I don’t feel like I can trust anyone arguing otherwise in a crisis

 

Also peeing in the shower is not peeing into nothing. You are peeing on the ceramic we both stand on and acting like “oh this shower water will wash it fine”

 

he got hacked

 

Exactly. Gonna call some parents and have them reteach potty training

 

How about, reaching behind yourself is ergonomically a lot easier while standing than while sitting. I could reach harder from an awkward diagonal sitting position... or I could reach my butt more calmly and naturally by standing

 

I’m not even going to comment on sitting directly on the rim as that poster will be dead any day now by performing some other routine task in some other absolutely baffling way that’ll get him killed

 

I just simulated both motions and if anything it is the same motion and amount of reach. I’m dealing with a slipped disc rn and the standing reach actually hurt like twice as much so seems like there’s been definitely more strain involved if you’re really trying to get everything clean