2 Dating 2 Relationships Thread II: The Squeakquel NSFW • Page 210

in the wedding planning process and my fiancé's parents are giving her their guest list. its 52 people and a large chunk of them she has never met. one of them was literally someone they rented an airbnb from

this is fun

 

Yeah we had to quash that pretty quickly when my wife's grandma started inviting people neither of us had met lmao

 

My mom made me invite my cousin who I maybe talk to twice a year and this was two weeks before the wedding lmao

we had all the meals finalized, luckily we did a food truck and they were chill adding one more

 

We both have large families and some different groups of friends so a large wedding was inevitable.

But we had it at my dad's property and her parents basically funded the whole thing so both my dad and her parents had some leeway on the guest list in exchange for that haha

 

We were engaged less than a month before my mother-in-law started telling my wife who she had to invite to the wedding since they were paying for it. My wife immediately told her fuck that no thanks so we booked an all-inclusive resort for just us 2 and that was the best decision we ever made.

 

My parents are very much the “invite everyone we know” type people. It really bothered my sisters when they got married and all my parents friends who they barely knew were there - but at the end of the day, my parents paid for their weddings so they also didn’t feel comfortable complaining about it to them.

I don’t know if that’s a generational thing or what, but it seems that my parents are always getting invited to their friends kids’ weddings too and it seems to be a common theme with that 50 & 60 and over crowd.

My wife and I purposely booked a smaller venue so it wouldn’t be an issue for us because my wife was adamant she only wanted close friends and family at our wedding, which I agreed with. so when my parents would be like “oh, what about so and so” we’d be like “actually we’re having a tough time dwindling this down to our friends who need to be there” and that seemed to solve the issue.

 

Must have been one hell of an air bnb

 

kaitie and i are only doing parents and siblings/their families. mostly because we purposefully chose a venue that maxes out at less than 30 people

 

Adam and I want a small wedding as well, luckily we both have small groups of loved ones so it’ll be close family and friends and (maybe) workmates, depending on who we’re still close with in, like, five years lol

 

Got married on a Wednesday evening in my brothers backyard with family only + 2 friends.

 

I feel like a lot of parents get extremely involved in the wedding planning process and it feels extremely selfish and entitled

 

I think our guest list ended up being like 186 people and, tbh, it was a blast. Didn't care about the people we didn't know our parents invited because we just partied with all the people we knew haha. But they paid for it, so. I woulda never paid all that money for a wedding that big myself.

I also had massive amounts of anxiety the night before and only slept for like 1.5 hours, so the whole day/night ended up being a blur to me lol

 

Can't speak for everyone, but with my parents, it was at least well-intentioned. They were pretty good about respecting boundaries once we set them. Plus-side of having a bigger wedding is more gifts, lol. Pretty much paid for our honeymoon (which wasn't anything super extravagant, just a week at Universal).

 

Oh yeah, good point. Since her parents paid for the wedding, all the wedding gifts went strait to our bank accounts. Paid for our road trip honeymoon AND gave us a nice little nest egg to start with.

 

yeah good point, I’m talking specifically about them getting involved re: who is or isn’t invited

 

For some parents I feel like they kind of see it as another opportunity to “correct” or “fix” parts of their wedding ceremony they didn’t like or maybe didn’t have the option to do at their wedding. Not a good reason and trying to look at that happening in an optimistic viewpoint but yeah.

 

I'm not good at dating. I don't do it. Dating apps are horrendous and I'm not a very attractive person to begin with. I have insecurities and jealous tendencies from previous relationships and it makes things so tough because the second something comes up I get this feeling in my gut that makes me sick.

I started talking to someone and it seemed like we've been hitting it off, it's been a few weeks of daily conversations. Then I noticed they're still on dating apps and changing their pictures and it made me upset. It's illogical and immature of me. Of course they would be. They're an intelligent, gorgeous person and we're only talking and it hasn't been that long.

It just makes me realize how low my self esteem is. It just makes me think things like "of course they want to keep looking, why wouldn't they?" and that this has been a waste of time.

Dating sucks and realizing how much work you still have to do sucks too. Because I know it's my problem, not theirs.

 

It sounds like you're being very hard on yourself. I know it's hard not to take it personally, but considering you're still just talking, I think it makes for some people to keep themselves open until they're locked into something exclusive. I doubt it has anything to do with what you two have not going well!

 

You're such a nice person, Aaron. I make a lot of dumb posts on here and 95% of them are jokes, but I am someone who truly does just want to be happy. I'm very fearful that I'll never be enough for someone and that I'll never measure up to others who can give people more.

It's hard. I'm losing my hair and I just look weird in general. It bugs the hell out of me. A previous partner said I was below average looking whilst we were dating and that was a fun time.

 

I 100% identify with how you feel. I am not a confident person in my physicality or my personality a lot of the time. Just try to remember, you are your harshest critic. And what that previous partner said is an INCREDIBLY fucked up thing to say that, I cannot stress enough, says way more about them than it does about you. Whenever you find someone, your looks are going to play a much smaller role in your relationship than you ever previously thought.

 

I don’t think there’s anything mean spirited about still looking while you’re talking with someone or just starting to date as long as there’s honesty but I don’t do it and it it is a gut punch when you’re interested in trying something out and the other person is still looking.

 

I've been there too if I really like someone I generally will focus in on them but always kind of casually look because I've been burned too many times as well. I feel like if you feel it's going well it probably is and just keep doing what you're doing don't do anything extra cuz when we get in our heads that's the biggest downfall lol

 

Also definitely will 2nd we're our own worst critics, my self esteem about how I look is at an all time low since I've not worked out and have eaten like crap. But if you're having good chemistry and can make someone laugh I think that's the biggest thing

 

Update: not much has changed but online dating still blows

 

I'm realizing very quickly that I'm not mentally healthy enough to date, which sucks