2 Dating 2 Relationships Thread II: The Squeakquel NSFW • Page 205

Oh I can't even IMAGINE that!!!

 

Also dating at 38 - Would not recommend.

I met someone recently who's a little younger (30) and super into a lot that I'm into and has a great sense of humor. But she has several extenuating circumstances, including being stuck at home while she waits for surgery for jaw and head issue. She also suspects she has borderline personality disorder and has had issues with being a love and sex addict. On top of that, she's dealing with verbal abuse from a parent. I think meeting me had caused her to hyperfixate on me being the cure for a lot of her problems. She texts me several times a day wanting words of affirmation and often, she said the texts I send aren't enough. It's too overwhelming for me.

I don't want to be ableist (There are people that have dropped her at the drop of a hat when she's mentioned she might have BPD). I just don't have the emotional capacity for the love that she needs and I feel absolutely terrible to say I don't want to pursue her. But I know that if we keep at this, it will just continue to hurt her. I just wanted to put that out into the world because I feel like I'm losing my mind and am feeling a ton of guilt for how I feel.

 

I thought I was the only one who is constantly saying "I don't have the emotional Capacity" for whatever the reason may be when it comes to this dating thing. Its fucking exhausting.

and I'm sorry you're going through it too. But don't feel guilty for dropping her or not being able to deal with HER situation. Its not our jobs to "fix" people....I learned that the hard way a year ago.

 

congratulations... and apologies.

 

I just want someone to hang out with a couple times a week. Dinner, movies, hikes or chill at my place/their place. Like we don't have to talk everyday. I'm not out here trying to be someones gf or wife. I just want companion ship and if somewhere down the road it leads to something more serious and we can't go a day without talking, then cool.

I'm just.....so fucking tired

 

Definitely needed to hear that. And yeah, I feel like figuring how much we can give and take emotionally is something that comes with age.

 

I'm glad I could make you feel a little better about the situation!

 

fuck him.
there's plenty of better fish in the minestrone.

 

I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like their breadsticks

 

I'm getting married in October and everything between us has been better than ever recently up until this past weekend or so. We were supposed to have some nice one on one time but couldn't because of a family emergency, so the work week rolls around and I'm bummed, kind of in a funk, just feeling like maybe I need some space to myself. Then, tonight, she brings up something about me not cleaning enough and it frustrates me to no end because I get home before her and do six or seven chores every day before she gets home, only for her to hone in on the one thing I missed. And any time I try to defend myself or push back about it, she just completely shuts down and won't even have the conversation with me.

I don't know what's going on. This has been an issue forever (she's a germaphobe) but I have worked so hard to do so much more for her and our house and our pets than ever before, but it just never gets recognized. And when she shuts down like that, it guilts me into saying sorry, but I feel like I shouldn't have to apologize for wanting to identify and fix the issue. I guess we're just out of sync right now.

 

Sorry brotha I can def relate to that

 

Yeah, sorry, I should clarify that I'm not necessarily looking for advice (I made a list of a few reasonable things that would make me happier and am going to encourage her to do the same), just venting because I feel like I'm losing my mind haha.

 

Dating in your 30s is hard in general. Unless “mr right” falls from the sky and lands in front of me, I’m not going to be in a relationship any time soon. Even men in their 40s don’t know how to talk to a girl and come off like they’re 20. No thanks. The guys in my area never change. They’re immature and 98 percent of them don’t have the small qualities I look for (no kids, no want kids, no smoking, no drugs). It would be nice to have someone to chill with and do fun things with but I’m all alone. I also go back to the health problems issue I have and afraid i won’t have anyone to help take care of me. Like There’s a chance I need a joint replacement in 10 years or maybe less

 

Maybe you guys should sit and talk and make a chore chart? have her show you how she likes things done....sounds so fucking stupid, but Its worked for me in the past and present. she also may have slight OCD, which I have as well (thanks mom).......Therapy helped me A LOT!

You shouldn't have to apologize or walk on eggshells because she thinks something wasn't cleaned the right way. This is a very Gaslighting situation. My mom did this to me my entire life which made me the same way for years and years. If she really wants this life to work with you and her.....she will hopefully understand and maybe get some help. Other wise its going to be this way forever, and you both will be unhappy.

 

Yeah, this is a great idea. I've had her show me how she prefers the vacuuming and swiffering be done, so I can ask her to show me this as well. She has diagnosed OCD and therapy has definitely helped us a bunch, but we still run into obstacles. I sent her a text this morning apologizing for getting as frustrated as I did, but also explained that there are some small, reasonable things that would make me happier and that if she felt like creating a list for herself, it would be good for us to have a conversation about it. It feels so dumb to make a mountain out of this little molehill but it's been a problem for our entire relationship and I think some negative feelings have been building up because we haven't had any one-on-one time together in like two weeks. Hopefully, this weekend will be different.

Thank you for your advice :)

 

I got to stop seeing this girl. She's in an open relationship and I knew that right away so it's not her fault but I'm starting to feel like shit after every time we hang out because I'd actually like to date her. Also I just hung out with her yesterday and another one of her friends came out and when I was coming out of the bathroom she was kissing him and I feel like that's kind of fucked up to do with me there even though we're not in a relationship. Anyways kind of been feeling this way for a while just really bums me out cuz I always have a lot of fun with her and I don't think I'd be able to go to just being friends

 

Keep me posted on how things go! Once you guys have a chat and get on the same page, things should be better!

 

You need to get out of that situation right now!!!! I'm sure you know that, but I've been in a situation like this and it did not end well.

 

Hi Friends.

I have a Date this Saturday. And for once in my life, I'm not anxious or nervous...I'm beyond excited.

Taking the train from Worcester to Back Bay and we are going to spend the day walking around the city, finding all the good coffee spots and food. I haven't done a day in Boston like this to just hangout with someone since like 2009.

 

I could post The Hills gifs allllll day lol