‘Nondescript Pop Punk Band Dropkicks a Girl Off Stage’ • Page 13

this portion bums me out so hard because it shows other people were telling her she was wrong to get on stage and deserved to be kicked, and now she believes it.


this band has done far too much for me to ever consider listening to them

 

Don't belittle this situation and its significance in the grand scheme of things by comparing it to something irrelevant, please. It does more harm than good

 

Do you not see the inherent problem of saying "why do you care about this, it happens all the time?" Honestly.

 

If it happens all of the time, why aren't you pissed off?

 

This is completely irrelevant and does not change the fact that he's a sexist prick. But in case you were looking for a "take that!" moment, I and many others who criticize this band were fully on board with saying band members should not be molested on stage. Being a shit person doesn't mean you deserve unwanted sexual attention. Keep trying though!

 

Attempting to pass what happened here off as "not a big deal" or saying that people are overreacting feeds into the toxic nature of the scene. Many people who are into these bands and this type of music get very defensive when something they like is called into question, so they choose to demean or belittle the problem in favor of ignorance.

I get it, you're uncomfortable because if someone you support is problematic, you could potentially be problematic. Rather than adding to the problems, even if the majority of you agree it should not have been handled in that way, acknowledge the fact that there was a problem and reflect on what could be done to stop it from happening again.

If you simply don't care about grown ass men putting their hands on other people, men or women, then there's a deeper core issue that we can't really move past.

 

If I got pissed off every time that dumbass threw someone off the stage I'd be a miserable person. What I meant is, this happens a lot with this band and it isn't old. Why is it now making headlines on news sites? I'm pretty sure I've seen videos of him pushing girls off stage before and no one has said anything about it.

 

To....... make it stop happening.

 

Where did you see videos of him pushing girls off stage before? Oh, right, news sites. Yes, people have said things about it before. This is literally in the post directly above your first in this thread:

 

It's making news because it's wrong, because people want to hold him accountable, and because it's important that this type of thing is seen. The community needs to respond, especially if we've seen it before - because that means nothing has changed. Change doesn't happen if a) nobody knows it's necessary and b) if nobody speaks up. I am not really sure what your opposition is to reporting the situation. You seem to be aware of his behavior, so with all due respect, why would you rather we all put our heads down and pretend nothing happened?

 

This really bums me out. I love The Story So Far. I had no idea Parker had this kind of mentality. Poses a pretty serious question. Do I continue to support this band? I'm not trying to come off as selfish. I obviously feel terrible that this young woman had to experience something like this. But, it just sucks, you know? Anyone else share my feelings?

 

No one's feet should be held to the fire of choosing who to support, it's ultimately up to you.

There are plenty of problematic artists I support/listen (mostly by way of listenimg, I do go out of my way to sever financial ties for vehmently toxic people) to because I simply enjoy the music, but there are definite lines we all have, does this incident cross it for you? (Not meant in a guilt trip way)

 

No pressure on you, honestly. I was on the fence for about 4 seconds, after I watch the girls head whip back as she falls face first towards the crowd, and probably the floor, I delete all their songs. I also want to sell the "USAD" vinyl I have. I can't support "artists" who treat their fans that way when there are so many who appreciate and respect their fans and what they do for a living. That is just how I feel, I can understand some people being able to compartmentalize the people who make the music from the music they like.

Also, I admit I didn't know that news site was satire. My B for my reaction I guess, I should have realized that it was way too tactless and classless to be a real quote.

 

I thought it was relevant cause maybe that's why he reacted so violently with this girl? Maybe a PTSD of sorts, like "Hey why is this girl hanging on stage so long, I'm hypervigilant now *kick*" I'm not trying to condone any of the actions, just a "WHY". The space between the stimulus and response. I was only trying to look into it deeper, not a "HEY HE DESERVED THIS RETROACTIVELY"

Don't worry tho, I got a "warning" which I probably deserve for lack of context which led someone to make rash assumptions.

 

Ignoring the fact that there is a world of difference between taking a selfie and molesting someone... If Parker Cannon comes forward and says the reason he has a habit of violently removing people from the stage is a PTSD symptom because of the incident in 2013, I'll take that into consideration. Until then, entertaining that possibility is more or less simply a distraction and a much less plausible explanation than "he's an entitled dude with a temper who has demonstrated little to no regard for his fans or women in general".

 

Yeah it was just a theory as to why he's an entitled dude with a temper. Just trying to go outside the box with a little back history. Sorry if it was distracting.

 

You posted a video with zero comment. It was not a "rash assumption" to assume you were being a dick. If that was really your intent, you should have said that in the first place instead of posting only the video.

Not to mention he's been an aggressive, entitled, misogynistic asshole since WAY before the incident in that video.

 

Exactly. Lesson Learnt.

 

Not trying to start anything, but combing through this (specific: page 13 of this thread) page right now you seem to be the only one hyper-aggressively using foul language and doing any kind of name-calling. I get that this is a passionate topic and a big deal, but maybe tone down the incendiary language a bit? That's the kind of stuff that leads to deviation from the actual topic at hand and instead focuses on the format of the discussion itself. He apologized and recognized his mistake. Let's move on.

 

Literally the only name calling has been directed at Parker Cannon (who has no qualms insulting women) and the person who said we were all "jumping on the feminist bandwagon."

Our frustration with this scene and the way it treats women is the the topic. It is not a deviation.

 

You specifically said he was "being a dick." That sounds like name calling to me. I feel like the majority of the people on here are frustrated but let's try to keep it civil. That's all I ask.

 

Something really weird to me about telling women to "keep it civil" when discussing a man who has repeatedly shown aggressive misogynistic tendencies.

Maybe you should rethink your approach here.

 

the fact that you're conscientious enough to not take this at face value is actually (imo) the biggest step so go you!

the next step is variable though. everyone has lines they draw. some of these are obvious/popular (not a whole lot of people feel comfortable supporting Bill Cosby these days*) and some of them, you'll get told you're being a hardass for or are more specific for what you're comfortable with (i decided not to listen to Whirr because of their comments on GLOSS) and this falls in more of the latter category. to some people, it's not gonna be a big deal. to some, it is, and they'll stop supporting the band as a result. some will dislike this and decide to continue to be a fan because they want to criticize this act and be a positive force from within the band's community. where you're gonna fall along that spectrum depends a lot on what you look for in music and community, and while i can't speak for this whole website, i don't think a lot of users are gonna tell you that you "should" do one or the other. cause it's a personal decision, and there isn't an obvious right answer, or maybe a right answer at all.

so like i said, the fact that you're even thinking about this - about this girl as a human being, about the fact that the band should be held accountable, about fans' safety going forward - those are all the things that i think are actually the hardest step to take because it means you've gotta be a lot more proactive and a lot more thoughtful about the media you consume/support, and a lot of people, i think, turn that part of their brain off because it's easier or because they never had to put themselves in these shoes or whatever. where you decide to go from here in this specific incident, i think, actually isn't even as important as that being the bigger picture.

in my personal opinion, this is just one more thing on the list of shitty things i've heard about TSSF, so i've pretty much decided i'm never really gonna bother to get into them. if you're already a fan, though, that's a more difficult decision to make, so like i said, i don't think this is something people are gonna nail you to, but at the same time, i don't think anyone will have a clear cut answers besides a sympathetic "doesn't it suck that the people/groups whose art we love can sometimes actually be really terrible."

sorry if that came off as condescending lmao, def not trying to be, just understanding where you're at with this right now as i've been there with enough bands/artists before that i start rambling like an old person telling war stories


*disclaimer: enough people still defend him that it's gross and indicative of the kind of fame and trust we blindly place in public figures, especially at the expense of women

 

Okay, so what is everybody going to do to make sure things like this don't happen? All of you are completely down for the cause until it comes time to get off the internet and actually do something aside from "discussing/raising awareness armchair activist shit". PM me what city you're in and I can help you find volunteer work that helps victims of assault. Also, if anybody is down to help discuss issues like this and how security should handle it with actual venue security, I've talked to owners of venues in the following cities and need help there: Jacksonville, Orlando, Atlanta, Augusta, Charlotte, Baltimore, DC, Philadelphia, Brooklyn, Boston, Chicago, Indianapolis, Portland, San Jose, Fresno, Anaheim, Tucson, Austin, Nashville. I'm also working on getting Warped to teach sensitivity training to all the bands at a few stops this summer.

Let me know if you're actually down to help stop things like this from occurring.