(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 384

Also, those many high schoolers were played by adults.

 

Yeah, that's very true. And even more generally, I think the near-universal romanticization of relationships and sex in movies/TV plays a huge role in the pressure we feel to be experiencing those things constantly, young or old.

It sounds dumb, but think about it. By the time we're old enough to realize the chasm between movie relationships and real ones, it doesn't matter; the very concepts of love, lust, attraction, etc. have been seeded in our brains by an unrealistic depiction that will always influence and tempt us. Maybe that's a little overdramatic, and it may become less true the more bad/failed relationships someone goes through, but still. I've noticed this because in my day-to-day life, being single doesn't bother me that much most of the time; yet, when I'm immersed in a TV series or something, I catch myself momentarily feeling despondent that I'm missing out on what's being shown, before rationality kicks in. The real relationships around me, on the other hand, make me feel that way considerably less often... lol.

 

Yeah I spend way too much time comparing my life to TV lol. Maybe not as much now, but it's definitely where I got my ideas of how things should be. In high school i struggled with feeling like I needed a ton of friends, dating, shopping, having our own cars, house parties, basically living at a bff's house etc and it was so not like that at all. And it's taken me a while to be like ugh I don't even want my life like that cause I'm an introvert and it's exhausting. Kinda the same with college. I didn't do the party thing and I was always holed up in my apt and it felt like I was wasting those years but tbh I look back on them fondly.


But yeah even now I whine when ppl are getting married and having kids and how "behind" I am, even though I don't even want those things right now haha. I think it's just those things we're socialized to believe we need to have done at a certain age.

 

Yes this, a million times this. i dated for someone for 7.5 years (we dated from 18-25 years old) and the pressure from EVERYONE about getting married was so unbelievably horrible. Although i had told and stated how i felt towards the situation, it didnt make sense to anyone. that its impossible for a young female who has been dating someone for a long time to NOT want to get married, that happiness and life only goes on with the promise of marriage. to me, being married was never a crucial part about being in a relationship but the ideals of growing up to get married and having a family were taught to me at a young age.

i think the number one thing is.....that people are too opinionated about OTHER people's lives. of course family wants whats best for you but i think society puts a lot of pressure where its not needed...like just butt out, damn. i think it has a lot to do with deep rooted traditional values. women are very much separate and independent people today and being married is not necessary to many. i think thats hard for a lot of older generations to grasp.

 

Lowkey have a crush on a coworker and tonight we went out drinking and she told me I'm hot and that it's super weird that I don't recognize that about myself and that felt nice I guess??? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. But she's like....super hot. Did not know how to react

 

Duuuude....what did you do?

 

I went home lol. Honestly, it was flattering, and I had a lot of fun, but I'm not really looking to make the moves on anyone right now. I'll the confidence boost but I'm ok being very single for awhile

 

Define adequate dating experience tho?

 

Whenever I hear stores about like Ricky Martin meeting his fiance on insta or the Hanson brothers meeting their wives at shows I'm like... don't give me hope about me and my faaaaaves

 

I can never tell if I find those stories cute or creepy, especially one like
Jake T. Austin dating fan who Twitter-stalked for 6 years

 

Tbh I find them creepy lol. Well not all of them. I guess it depends on how it happens. But the power dynamic seems like it'd be way off. I'd totally be willing to wait until Harry is balding and irrelevant to even that out tho!

 

Anyone got some suggestions for Love Songs (in general, but songs about young/early love are ideal) for a playlist I'm working on? Feel like I've been listening to the same 20 songs this past week.

 

I'm convinced I'm gonna marry Emma Stone.

 

That's tough. I feel like there are three main areas. One, sexual experience; pretty simple. Two, a reasonable level of comfort and competence with the dating/meeting ppl process itself (I know it's stressful and can be awkward at times for almost everyone, but there's a difference between a reasonable and unreasonable level of difficulty there). Three, experience actually going through all the trials and tribulations of a more serious, long-term relationship and learning from mistakes along the way.

If you're only missing #3, even after your mid 20s, you're probably fine; it's not that rare these days. If you're missing 2 or more of the 3, then realistically, it's awfully tough sledding past a certain point.

 

Best love song ever.

 

When I was like 14 I legit thought me and gerard way would make a perfect couple. When I was 7 I also thought me and Nick Carter would be legit a good couple. The delusion has been alive for many years!

 

Now nick is my 2nd least fave bsb member tho so some things have changed!

 

I don't trust people who hate Maya Rudolph.

 

Posh was my fave Spice Girl as a kid, as an adult she's clearly the worst and I just liked her because she wore pretty clothes

 

No like I'm actually gonna marry Emma Stone

 

She was mine too! Cause I had the barbie of her. But when we'd watch spice world and reenact all the scenes as our spice girls, she was the most boring cause she was too posh and cool so I secretly resented her but I couldn't just switch spice girls you know?

 

I was quite inexperienced before my current relationship. Had only slept with one person, which happened pretty late, my longest relationship was six months and it was when I was 15 so it wasn't the way a real relationship as adults works, only really ever had a shot with so many girls and I was so shy and timid I'd never make a move (even just asking a girl out was like pulling teeth). Now, I've been in this relationship for eight months, I'm confident, have had lots of great sex (with the same person but still), and overall I'm just a much more well rounded man when it comes to dating. And guess what? I never have to date again. I'm spending the rest of my life with this woman and I couldn't be happier about it

 

I'm really glad you're happy, man. I may be drunk, but I say what I think when im drunk haha. And you're wonderful. I'm glad you've found happiness. You deserve it. Fight me irl. Fucker.

 

I was (kinda still am to an extent) obsessed with Taylor Hanson and he married a fan (I think) and got married in Pine Mountain Georgia while we were there for vacation. We didn't know this until afterwards but I was 16 and devastated. They have like 10 kids now and are super happy and I'm..single, 30, and still bitter.

I was into Scary and Sporty Spice the most.

 

I should just forget about trying to date. Guy I was kinda texting hasn't texted me in like two weeks. We both work jobs that have long work hours and my current position I can't have my phone on the floor, the position I'm taking classes for, I can only use my phone on the floor for work purposes only. I'm not a text the guy first kind of gal, plus I've told this guy what my days off are and to hit me up to hangout if he's not busy and he never does and the cycle repeats. Maybe there's someone he has more interest in. I don't blame him.