(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 382

Been texting this British girl who is super nice! Unfortunately she's going back to England Monday so I'm outta luck there. Hopefully I made a pen pal though.

 

There's this girl in my stats class that I thought was pretty cute and then she spoke and I heard her Swedish accent and my attraction level instantly shot up tenfold. So I partnered up with her for group work aaaaand that'll be the extent of it cause I suck haha

 

Need help with this new one.

Not really a dilemma, but I'm kinda unsure what to do. Met a girl recently who I'm really into. She's awesome, and we've been Snapchatting daily (lame I know), but I think it could be something. I wanna make a move, but starting in two weeks, I'm working with her on a stage production where I'll be seeing her like 3 times a week (we're both behind the scenes, that kinda thing, etc.) and I'm worried if I make a move sooner then it'll be awkward as fuck for the 3 months we're working together if she's not keen, and I don't wanna have to deal with that during rehearsals and shit.

Wait until production starts? I'm terrible at making moves and shit btw, and have no idea what she's thinking.

 

Personally, I would see how chemistry is during the timeframe that you are actually with each other at work and, if you feel like there is chemistry, you should ask if she wants to grab a drink with you when you both get off!


Edit: man, I feel like this is the most poorly constructed sentence I have ever written. My point still stands.

 

Thanks man, seems like the smart move. I was watching The Lion King the other night, and I snapped a few people that I was watching it, and she replied like 5 seconds later of a shot of her in her Lion King PJ's and she was like 'theeseeee are sooo comffyyyy...' and I was like 'Whoa. This rules.' Haha, I was thinking of asking her for a drink sometime then, but I'll wait till' we're working together.

 

On the other hand, I don't think one night of getting a drink or doing something to get to know one another a little better is all that forward. It all depends on how you approach it really.

 

Download duolingo and start to learn Swedish. I saw some job postings in Sweden that I wasn't qualified for but then started to learn Swedish using duolingo just so I could put it on the app. I never got the job, but the 3-4 months I spent learning swedish was fun.

 

So my ex (feels weird typing that) and I have been no contact for the most part but periodically checking in with each other to make sure we're okay, etc. So I checked in today and apparently she's doing "wonderful". I'm happy for her but also really torn because I'm doing pretty bad this week. Ugh.

 

She's not.

Edit: unless she's like, a total narcissist, she's not actually doing wonderfully. Even if you guys aren't right for each other, the fact remains that you were in each other's lives for a long time and you are important to each other. It's hard to let go of someone, even if they are toxic, it's like a drug. She misses you. However, you need to stop "checking in" PRONTO. What you want to hear is someone saying they miss you, it feels good, but eventually she genuinely will be feeling wonderful without you and you'll still be hanging on.

 

So, idk if it is a coincidence or that I'm just lucky, there's a new University friend I've made during the previous semester's finals that I want to make moves with. Earlier this week, it suddenly clicked with me that she was very interested in me. Her behavior, even when I was still with my ex, which I broke up with few days ago, all makes sense now. She always wants to see me, she even invites me to the classes I don't even take. We have so much chemistry together, she's there for me and makes me feel happy to wake up and to go to school. It's funny because she basically said the same thing to me and at the time, I didn't realize the meaning. One of our common University friends was like "I told you so ! She's always talking about you or missing you to me when you miss a class", which reassures me because it means I'm not imagining things lol. I think I'll be a little careful because I'm still saddened by my recent break up, and I don't want to repeat the same mistakes I've made early in my latest relationshihp. First, I want to get to know her better, then I'll see how it goes. What do you think ?

 

As someone who was a serial monogamist from the age of 19-24, I personally think the best course of action is to fly solo for a good while, especially having just broken up. But everyone is different so, who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. You know yourself better than anyone so do what's best for you. My only warning is, being so fresh out of a relationship, is to make sure that you actually like and want to spend time with person and not that you just don't want to be alone. I've made the mistake of clinging to people fresh out of a relationship simply cause I was lonely.....no bueno

 

If you feel okay to get back on the horse, get back on the horse. Just maybe don't ride it too hard.

Metaphors aside, don't read too much into things coming back through friends and ask her if she wants to meet up outside of your classes. See how things go from there. Sounds quite positive. Well, apart from missing you when you're not in class. That's a bit weird.

 

Well, it escalated quickly. Her said friend got back to me and didn't learn anything from what I tried to say to her. I did everything I could to be pacific, to explain my thoughts, to tell her why and how she made me feel awful, like shit, I even had to reveal her I was neuroatypic so I had to do what's best for me otherwise I'd end up in a suicidal episode, and she didn't even care one bit. I feel so bad, why are people so mean ? Am I too nice or naive, by always wanting to help everyone without anything in return ? She's a highly manipulative person, and I fear she will have a big influence on my ex, so I had to block her on facebook/all social media, and cut any ties with her. About my ex... idk, we broke up in such good terms, but if she decides to be on her side... so be it. I don't want to suffer anymore. I'm already getting back to my ex therapist, who I couldn't get to anymore because of financial problems. I feel like she'll able to help me so much again. Thanks to all of you as well, it means a lot to me.

 

My girl hit me up yesterday asking me to go the DMV again soon as I can (she's been back down there as of late cus her great grandma died and I've had to work at my new job so I stayed here) to check out apartments, said she found one she loves for just about 1k$ a month. She also said she got a minor inheritance from her Grandma.
Meanwhile I've been here growing to really dislike my job cus I'm starting to see all the shit they get on so I'm 100% for that process speeding up (getting a place that is) getting the fuck outta NY, and officially starting our life together in one place for good. Rather than both of us moving back and forth. The day I can quit my job to move will be glorious.

 

I've been in a monogamous relationship with a guy for 5 months now. Things are going really well, this has been the best relationship I've had for a long time. He knows I'm Polyamorous and says he's cool with it, but I don't know how to talk to him about starting to open up our relationship. There's a guy I've met recently that I'd like to get to know better, but I'm afraid my "yeah, an open relationship is cool" boyfriend won't actually feel that way if I start to see someone else. :/

 

Hey, you are welcome:

 

Lmao.



The best tho tbh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

Yeah, deep down I know you're right. She just moved to a new place, got a new job, is getting a new roommate, etc. so I feel like she's almost too busy to really process this right now. On the other hand I'm still in limbo here at my parent's place with nothing but time, thinking myself to death. I'm just looking forward to March so I can go up North and see my friends. Today was better though.

 

That is tough but it is a conversation that needs to happen, sooner than later. My girlfriend is polyamorous and I am not. She knew that within the first month of us dating. She said she would rather be in a monogamous relationship with me than in a poly relationship with anyone else, so we've been monogamous, but it is a clear definition that needs to be set as early in the relationship as possible.

 

The girl dating my ex really fucking hates me for no reason. I got a heads up phone call from his friend that basically was like you were brought up when we were talking about liking the people our friends have dated and she's pissed. I don't know this girl and she's cussed me out a couple times on the phone and I guess I'm going to have to block ex's friend's #'s now too which sucks. I don't get hating someone bc they dated your partner forever ago and I never will. /rant

 

I think I've been there before. You're doing the right thing. Don't waste your time on her, because there's nothing you can really do about it. People are stupid.

 

I don't really get what it means when people say they don't believe in divorce. It's not bigfoot or ghosts where ppl debate about its existence. And you can't really believe in not getting a divorce I feel cause like if ur partner wants to divorce u, u don't have a choice really. U can't just be like "sry, don't believe in divorce. Ur stuck with me." So I guess they mean they don't see it as an option which I think is weird but also again like if someone wants to divorce u it doesn't matter whether you believe in it? So it seems like a meaningless phrase.

I've been over thinking this for dayyyyys

 

I think it's that it's hard to believe that people can go through all the trouble of marriage, spend all that time together, and then find out that it was a bad decision I guess is the nice way to phrase it

 

A friend of mine says this. I asked them what the phrase meant to them and she said the following: "it means they'd have to sue me. You dedcide to get married, you're making a lifetime committment. I would fight it every step of the way, because there is no "not working it out". You can always work it out."

So, basically, it is about possession and the belief in a commitment that exceeds the personal wishes of others.

 

This makes sense cause the person I heard say it yesterday seemed to have this attitude when her ex was divorcing her. She was so mad she didn't get a say and I was like I get u don't want it to happen but do u also wanna be married to someone who doesn't wanna be married to u? Sounds miserable tbh!