Mental Health Thread • Page 66

Y'all making me want to cry over hereeeee!!! Everyone in this thread is great and I love you all !! Just having other people acknowledge that what he did was messed up and not what a good father does means so much. Most of my family acts like I'm a whiner if I bring anything up or acts like I'm making it up. Only person who doesn't is my mom since she had to deal with his abuse right along with me but it can be hard to talk to her about it since she understandably doesn't want to even think about him now that they are divorced. And my brother is so much like my dad so I don't even bother trying to talk to him about it. So thank you everyone

 

edit nvm thought this thread was on a talk about yr family kick but after reading through recent posts i don't think that's the case

 

Was having super anxiety yesterday cus atm me and my girl are on and off with having to deal with distance in our relationship (we still need to be in our original areas sometimes for both family and work, we ended up in different locales after our first run). We're saving up to just live full time in Maryland soon as we can afford it but the money mark she had hoped for was giving me so much stress.

Not cus of her but because my family is so.. (spoken for in prior posts).. that they even admitted to me then intend to expect more money once I have more for myself. Which I only give them some to help out of the kindness of my heart and they're purposely doing it to sabotage me (and said as much as well) cus they don't agree with me being a white guy and her being a black woman and us being together.

I finally cracked and talked to her about it super nervous she was gunna be super mad on me or something and basically just needed to hear her say "It's okay, if we need to go there with a lil less we'll make it together." Seems so small but not use to that sentiment, but she did just that and jesus christ did so much of that tension and anxiety in my chest just disappear immediately.

 

Doc just gave me some samples of Latuda to try for my cyclical thoughts, anxiety and irritability. I hope it helps, it's been awful trying to snap myself out of things when I find something to worry about. Anyone have positive experiences with it?

 

Hey kids! so its been a few weeks now, and I am happy to report that I have cut all ties with my ex. He pretty much told me to fuck off and that pretty much made me get over all if it in about 5 seconds. So, fuck him. In other news, I felt empowered and I put myself out there. I met someone! We went out Sunday night and hit it off so quickly. I'm meeting him tonight since he's going away for work for two weeks tomorrow and I'm heading to Bermuda for vacation on Friday.

I think this break up with the ex was long over due. All the hurt from last year was linked to him, and we both changed and I think we were both super unhappy together once everything else wore off. I honestly haven't felt this happy in a few years.

 

Proud of and love you. I'm so glad things are looking up for you.

 

I feel like I'm having a cheesy life crisis after the Jimmy eat world show. I never realized how many songs they have about like getting out there, don't get in the way of yourself, and not caring what other people think until I heard them all in a row like that. it really did make me feel like I'm wasting my life. I wanna give myself a year to make sure I like what I do before I commit. I'm on my own now but I know in the back of my mind that if I absolutely had to I could move back in with my dad. if I move away that's not an option. I've been saying my life will begin when I move, or I imagine all these pieces to fall together when I move and my life will be what I want it to be. those are high expectations and if the pieces don't fall together, which likely they wont, and my life is still boring and uninspired then I can only blame myself. I'll have to look inwardly instead of projecting all my problems on where I live. I know either way I need to move. I'll never truly be happy here so I have to go. even tho realistically I know ur not expected to have ur life figured out in ur mid 20s I guess I get scared of failing. Scared of being unhappy and then my mental state getting worse and I'm all alone in a different town where I don't know anyone or have support


THIS ISN'T EVEN THE FIRST TIME I'VE SEEN JIMMY EAT WORLD lol why is my brain so silly. clearly it was one of those things where you've heard it before but one day it just really hits you in the right way.

 

Fever has my mind racing and ive Been talking to myself for a couple hours. I feel crazy. Fevers got no chill

 

Did you have a nice chat?

 

I hope you get better soon man:)

 

So glad you're feeling better!

 

I always feel late to the game when people start posting about issues and I want to post something but then the conversation kinda fades into something else. Sucks not being able to browse often.

 

ty I actually feel a bit better today.

 

the best convos are the ones I have with myself ;).

fever dreams are so weird. idek where this stuff in my head comes from.

 

I've never experienced that but it doesn't sound like it would be fun.

 

Screw this week honestly. I am so done screw everything I'm done and I refuse

 

I'm sure it's all in my head or just my stupid anxiety but I've never felt more ignored and like I mattered less than I do with this thesis group. I feel like they take absolutely no consideration for my needs. We have one final meeting tomorrow - at 7pm - despite me telling them literally every week that I can't stay on campus until 10pm because I have to take the bus home for 90 minutes. Its not safe and it completely fucks up my sleep for the 8am class we have the next morning.

They just don't fucking care. Instead, I'm the asshole who's inflexible and not committed to the group. I told them day one about my commute. But no, the schedule is only flexible for those who have jobs and internships. Not someone who has a terrible commute and a need for more than an hour of sleep tonight.

I hate that this is making me cry but it just feels like I don't matter and that literally no one cares about my well-being, not even my group who I've been with since August. And then on top of that I just feel like a selfish asshole for wanting to take care of myself instead of putting me at risk for something. Idk. This probably isn't even in the right thread.

 

Ok I'm home to fully rant about my day. first of all my car wouldn't start this morning which was awesome since I had to be to work on 10 minutes. I've also been reminding my rm for over a week to pay the water bill cause it's past due and in her name. of course she didn't so she texts me saying they've shut it off and oops she only has cash and can't pay it so I need to call. I call and they're super nice and say they'll email me my account info. they get my email wrong and it never sends so I call back. they resend it and then when I put in the account info I see they sent me someone else's account info. I call again and finally it gets figured out and paid but now I need to be home for them to turn it on but they close in 30 min so I need to go home now. but I don't have my car. nobody I know answers their phone and finally my boss sees me on the verge of a breakdown and gives me a ride home (and even offered to loan me the money which was ridic sweet but I didn't need it) and I didn't even need to be there cause the guy was finishing as I got there.


Just bs. I'm over it. this is ridiculous like this should not be happening and I'm mortified that it took place. like I'm not embarrassed cause it wasn't my fault but I can't explain why it was so upsetting. like I'm a massive responsible control freak so I just melted down

 

Good last few days, finally gaining the full level of mutual understanding from in my relationship and it helps almost open the airways (both literally and like.... spirtiually? lol) it's crazy. Some bumps, but that's more people being sucky than anything I did/have any control over, so forget that, ha.

 

I'm coming undone. Oh well.

 

Not being able to drive is basically ruining my life and I'm so over this. I can't even ever vent about it to anyone in my life because they are all super mean about it and make fun of me and act like I'm just lazy or something. I want to see you drive during a panic attack while throwing up. Fuck off. I'm basically trapped in this house all day every day. I miss out on these things I want to do because they are all in either Pittsburgh or Cleveland, both of which are over an hour away. If I need something from the store I can't even just go and get it. I feel like I have zero freedom and I just want to cry. I can't even get a new job because only a few things are within walking distance and none will hire me because I don't have a car. Trying to find a job is fucking depressing because everything near me says right on the application you must have a valid driver's license to be hired. Like you are an 8 minute walk from my house......why??????? I can walk 8 minutes......

 

I know this hell well. I didn't deal with panic attacks (I did have like a breakdown at one point over it), but everything else is pretty much the same I went through last year when (in Nov of '14) I hit a deer, my "friend" at the time had his own shop. Said he fix it for me. Cool, great. Got it to him right before Christmas.
Took 9 MONTHS, 3 cars, 2 engines (on his end aka they royally fucked shit up, numerous times), and a whole fuck ton of lies, procrastination, and putting me off I had no car.
Those 9 months I felt like a animal in a cage of my own life. No money, no car, no jobs would hire cus I'd need reliable transportation.
Family would mock me/make light thinking "He must have a reason."
No mechanic can have a 9 month excuse.
I watched friends, love interests, opportunities, etc all come and go in that time.

I honestly fell into probably the darkest place I've ever been during that time cus of the car (and numerous other things prior to that all piling up on top), when I finally got my car back I cut that dude out of my life, and had cut out most of the people prior to that who were still friendly/made light of it.

Sorry you're dealing with that, hope it helps to know you're not alone. I lost sight of the light at the end of the tunnel myself than but it found me again, hope it finds you/you it soon.

 

I feel ya sis. I have my license now but it took a very long time and failed attempts at my test lol cause I have driving anxiety from a past incident. it sucks because ppl don't get it at all. like they think you enjoy bumming rides and stressing over the inconsistency of that and never being able to get things done for yourself without putting aside a huge chunk of time to walk there. it's ridic. I have my license now but I still hate driving and will always pawn it off on someone else if I can. I'm sorry the people around you don't understand. people can be so insensitive!

 

Unless the job requires driving to other places if you told them it's within walking distance I don't think they'd care. Just ask at the interview if you get one

 

Slept through my first alarm today and my phone died before the second went off. Missed a conference call. Decided to just stay home from work. No idea if my boss is marking that down under "another reason to let him go" after everything that's gone on in the last 6+ months with my job.

Something feels really off the last two days, and I am not sure what it is. I'm an impatient person, and I don't feel entirely in control, and that is a bad combination.