(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 310

Nothing about it was sexual. Finances & family is what came between.

 

Usually I know pretty early on whether or not someone will bore me so it never materializes into anything. I haven't ever gotten bored in a relationship*.


* Early high school relationships do not count as relationships because those were definitely boring haha

 

That was a joke.

 

I thought it was funny. In some cases it's fairly accurate.

 

Sometimes I go into a relationship knowing full well that it will fail. I know this is not cool of me and I also wish I didn't do it.

 

The Nada Surf Popular approach
" I
purpose we support a one month limit on going steady
I think It will keep you both more able to deal with weird situation
And get to know more people
I think if you're ready to go out with Jonny

Now's the time to tell him about your one month limit
He won't mind he'll apreciate your fresh look on dating
And once you've dated someone else you can date him again"

 

wow I didn't know they wrote a song about me!

 

Man, that's fucking awesome. Congrats. Wait so how long then were you broken up for?

 

Thanks! Appreciate that. We were apart for 3 years.

Side lil story that really odded me out: The day she actually hit me up again to just apologize for what had happened the night prior I had a one of those vivid dreams of her where we were play wrestling and she hurt her foot.
I wake up, see she had gotten in contact and was weirded out enough, then she tells me a few months prior she had been in the hospital for broken foot.
Tripped me out lol.

 

I mean, with all of the normal elements that constitute a physical and/or emotional bond. Maybe I'm just a weirdo, but I have to find somewhere else to expend my energy.

 

Wow, three years.....

Seriously awesome man. And yeah that is really odd. Somewhat similarly, I have been missing my ex's family so much and my heart has been so heavy because I guess I just assumed that once my ex moved that I could continue to be friends with her family. My fear was that their love for me was purely situational. Anyways, I was talking about this at length with my therapist because a few days prior I had an incredibly vivid dream that I was hanging out with her mom and her sister at their house. We were still broken up in the dream. And then the next day I ran into her mom for the first time since we broke up and without hesitation she gave me a huge bear hug and said she misses me and that I should come over sometime for breakfast. Felt so good. I honestly burst into tears right after she left cause I was so overwhelmed with joy

 

Yeah I could sit here and talk about ABC through Z bout all the shitty stuff in life but that was a blessing cus god knows I wouldnt tell anyone to hold their breath after 3 years lmao. But if I count my blessings in life she's #1 even after all that time, even if there's times its her and her alone lol. I got lucky.

Do you still have any interaction with your ex? Seems like they had a huge impact on you if you're not only dreaming about them but their family as well.

 

Nope. I sent her a pretty heartfelt goodbye text before she left for Holland, just wishing her well, but I never got a response. Her mom, who has always been a straight shooter, was like, "Yeah...Jordan (my ex)....she's very lost right now and not as mature as she should be." I hope to hear from her one day but who knows.

 

I know that situation well, I wish ya luck with that. Especially if you know how special she is, and it is something special. Losing that (I learned first hand) leaves a hole that you may get distance from but always remember. Not to be dim but if it's that bright; and her Mom doesn't seem to dislike you either.... that's better than where I was. (Albeit my girl's mom was against me either, she just was always team-her first so when I was gone she 100% supported her choice, in failure or not. - a trait I can admire lol. Wish my Mom was the same lmao)
I wish I could offer you some advice cus I had literally no interaction with my ex or her family. We both needed to grow up and if I'm being honest I was ahead of her in the past but I'm the one behind now lol. There wasn't even an idea of her popping up everything with her reappearing for the apology to us falling back in love was completely unexpected.

All I did was keep my heart open, really, ha.

 

How do I judge a situation when a female friend of mine, who has apparently always been interested in me is, for lack of a better explanation has beahaved bit hot and cold with me? In text her responses are not consistent, and in our last conversation, in which I told her that I had been struggling with life, which sucks, but I felt too embarrassed to talk to my parents about it, so I thought here, someone else who might lend an ear and listen to me. Unfortunately I receive no such reply, only to be left thinking had I done something wrong, agonizing, and feeling anxious only to then receive a reply about plans to meet up days later. I don't know how to judge this if we meet up, which still I don't know if it will ever happen. Am I just being irrational, and needy, whilst she is playing it cool?

I probably sound like kid, but sometimes these feelings creep up on you, and I just turn into this pathetic looser who needs attention.

 

this literally sounds like something that would happen to me

 

First, I want you to know that your feelings are valid, feel free to express them. IMO, I think she is busy with life. You won't know the situation until y'all make the attempt to meet up, if it is anything other that. You probably going to meet up soon, right?

 

Thank you, I just feel very insecure right now. I'm currently feeling like I am exaggerating my life just to make friends happy, when really I have nothing going on. Since I finished my studies, and decided to pick it up photography I feel like everyone I know always has something to say about their day-to-day lives, whereas I feel I don't have anything meaningful. This factored by in this female friend of mine, who is productive and busy, whereas I am not not nearly as, makes me feel like I am whining, and that I'm just being annoying.

 

I finally looked good with the cute gas station attendant but I was driving a car with hunting bumper stickers and I don't like how that reflects on me tbh!

 

It's definitely a good strategy to make some joke about how dumb the bumper stickers are

Although that could end badly if he ends up being a hunter but that might be a dealbreaker anyway who knows!

Anyway all I can think about right now is this:

 

These sentiments are normal and like Chicago said your feelings are valid. Seems you're somewhat letting the fact you're still figure your life out atm blend into your love life. I fall into that hole too but don't let that think you're less of anything. Everyones life speeds up and slows down or just in general moves, grows, etc at their own pace.

As for your friend you have to feel that out to actually know, of course it takes two to see if something can work.

As for feeling as if you're whining or being annoying that falls in with your feelings being valid. Of course there's the need of a balance to not overwhelm people, BUT everyones feelings are as valid as the next person's. If they wouldn't wanna listen simply cus you need an ear those people ain't worth opening to.

 

When the will they won't they finally becomes they will it will be so rewarding, no sorry I have to stop trying to make life a romantic comedy

 

Lunch date today was pretty cool and seems into me

 

If I could count the number of dates I've had lately using my fingers I'd have to cut my fingers off.

 

Thank you, I just feel like I haven't caught up with my own life, and I am trying to race ahead to catch up with other people.

I appreciate that you try to put it into perspective, I almost feel embarrassed to mention to anyone that I'm feeling low because my life isn't in order, or that I feel unwanted by someone I care about, let alone on the internet. I thought would be the last place to say anything, but I always read through this thread, more so than any other in forum, and I feel maybe this is a real community.

I'm in two minds with my friend, I feel a bit neglected by the fact my feelings were ignored. I have tried to be by their side during their hard times, but when they didn't acknowledged how I am feeling, I don't know if it's worth it. But, because there has always been this, what if thought looming in my head, it feels like the nagging thought that won't leave my consciousness unless I confront her.