Mental Health Thread • Page 473

Well, on one hand, my relationship is officially over.

On the other hand, I just read my engagement ring appraisal and it's apparently worth $1,000 more than I paid for it and I desperately need a new mattress.

Wonder the best way to get as much money for it as possible...

 

My therapist believes I’m burned out from work. I agree, I have felt burned out for some time, but it’s the level of burn out I didn’t realize. Like basically my body needs a break of at least a week. I’m working on looking for another job and she recommended me taking a 2 week break to “re cooperate”. Idr the exact verbiage she used but that my body is telling me I need a break.

 

I'm very upset so my brain isn't functioning very well rn so this is about to be just me incoherently venting. Obviously today is very stressful for everyone. I don't even like Harris for obvious reasons but seeing the vast majority of my family rooting for Trump to win is just beyond upsetting. I was SA'd at a concert and it was the most traumatic event of my life and has done more damage to me and my mental health than I can even put into words, so watching my family cheer on a rapist...idk even know how to articulate how that feels. Seeing my nephew who I love more than anything like homophobic posts and share selfies wearing a MAGA hat.... as a queer woman, again I can't even articulate how that feels. Nights like tonight just crush me bc it really shows how just absolutely alone I am. This is the only support system I have and they actively support people and policies that would cause me harm. I will never be able to be my true self around these people. I can never tell any of them I'm queer or be open about anything. I have had to shove down all my true feelings and have had to hide my true self for so long that it's like idk even who I am anymore sometimes. I just want the support and love and understanding to be able to figure that out again but it's so hard doing all the work on your own, especially when you know that you might lose everyone in your life because of it. I just wish things could be different.

 

I am stressing over the election. Idk how it’s close. Trump is a terrible candidate, person and a horrible representation of the Republican Party. If he wins we’re doomed!

 

Really don't know where I'll find the will to keep going on as our country sinks further and further into so much awful. I feel defeated and done.

big hugs to everyone else in here as we try our best or whatever

 

Sobriety feels completely impossible right now and I don't know how to get through the X number of years we'll still be alive for

 

Yeaaaaaaah not feeling hopeful today

 

Not a fun day to be alone. At least in 2016 I had someone to commiserate and “get through it” with. Now I’m just alone and it’s incredibly hard not to let myself spiral out right now

 

Really unwell today

 

It's like i went straight past depression and straight into despair. I knew today would be hard, but everyone in my office is laughing and cheerful and acting like it's an average day. I try to tell myself that most people don't really pay attention and they just want lower costs and change and they have no idea of what they done. Surely people aren't this terrible, right? I just really want to be with my dog and cat. Having a really hard time coping.

 

My one friend I’ve made in this city came in today happy saying that he hopes Trump does even half of what he says. Feeling really alone right now.

 

HOW. Literally HOW did we fail as a country. We’re going backwards. I want to cry. We’re doomed. Ive never been more afraid of the future than ever.

Edit: the fact that brainless maga thinks cost of everything will go down when things will go up. The fact that they think they’re “saving babies” and women but really they’re harming women and children. The fact that they think trans women are “out to harm their daughters” but really the real predators are the cis men siting next to them in church. Slowly gonna remove people from my social media that’s a maga cult member

 

Might need to dip out for a while. I am upset and empathetic and angry for all of you, for my wife, for our child. I am really struggling with the comments about everyone being dead in the next 10 years and how unbelievably fucked/doomed we are, because how can I possibly reconcile those possibilities with having a child in February? I need to search for slivers of hope, because I need to stay alive for my family's sake.

Feeling for all of you, sending love and wishing you the best. I'll be back at some point.

 

Side note, and apologies if this is an inappropriate use of the thread, but if anyone here is in the Buffalo area and would be open to get coffee/a beer/go to a show/record store let me know. My friends all live 6+ hours away. My only real support system/social life here is my partner and I can’t keep putting that all on her.

 

see you in 3 hours pal

 

God, just drive faster

 

It has been one rough week and a half. In that span I found out my uncle is dying, my gf and I broke up, and then this election couldn’t have gone worse. I’m functioning ok but I really need to make an appointment to see someone, this is too much at once. I can feel it starting to get overwhelming.

 

very thankful that i have therapy tomorrow.

however, i recognize the grim irony (coincidence?) that my therapist (a black woman) will be helping me (a white guy) navigate this.

she's a former activist / organizer, though, so i think it'll help.

 

On top of the shit I’ve been dealing with from my workplace, if to all, most of them are maga trump followers. I over heard this lady work with tell another co worker she’s happy he won. What’s heartbreaking is that not only her and her husband are poc immigrants, but they have a daughter! I also happen to work with all women so it makes it sad. I work in healthcare. We have patients who are lbgtq. I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that my co workers secretly hate these people

 

Trying to stay positive but it's so hard. I tell myself I'm not giving trump and his supporters the power over me to make bad decisions for myself. I wanted so much to try my best and exercise and eat great and show only I could have power over me. But my body was riddled with anxiety and I had a pit in my stomach. It feels like how I felt before getting on meds. I'll try again tomorrow.

 

At some point yesterday, my frustration and fear gave way to drive, especially with regards to raising a boy in this climate. If I can pick up the right values without my parents instilling a lot of them in me, I can definitely raise him to know right from wrong. If we're in a war against right-wing ghouls who want to indoctrinate kids via the internet, maybe I'm meant to be in the situation I'm in to help combat that.

 

This definitely happened for me as well. I'm sorry you felt like you had to step away and I know part of that was my doomer post (and I know we're both valid in feeling however we need to feel about what's going on) but I'm glad to see you feel that fire to do what's best.

 

Yeah, that wasn't directed at you specifically (I'm seeing it a lot of places and rightfully so), I just wasn't (and am still not really) in the headspace to think that way, but I am glad that I'm feeling better sooner than expected.

 

Oh yeah I didn't feel called out and I did also understand your feeling for sure, we were just in different places