Mental Health Thread • Page 353

Does "triggered" imply a specific kind of reaction? Sometimes I use the word for myself but then hope I'm not causing it to lose all meaning. I guess the way I use it is for an unexpected emotional response. And really emphasize the unexpected part. I don't usually have like panic attacks or anything but as a result of a specific event I'll have this sudden and unexpected desire to cry or something and then realize it's because it's connected to some form of past trauma. It always catches me off guard because I feel like I have a good sense of what will upset me, but then sometimes something will bring those memories up unexpectedly and it's always v upsetting. Or is that just called being a human with emotional ups and downs lol? I guess the label isn't important idk why I have the strong desire to label it as something.

 

Just feel like putting this somewhere because damn especially compared to how horrible I was at the start of this year, moving in with a friend who cares about you does wonders for your mental health, doesn't it?

 

I’m sorry for making another lockdown post but my boyfriend just brought up his best friends wedding that’s happening overseas next year and how much he’d love for us to have a romantic getaway that weekend but it’s just so hard to even imagine travelling overseas when I can’t legally leave 6 miles from my house right now. The uncertainty of when normality will resume for people in locked down states of Australia is the killer - the states with closed borders and zero covid and maybe two weeks of lockdown have no idea what it’s like to lose your fucking mind and money and hopes and dreams after 238 days (and counting) of enduring the harshest restrictions in the world. I wouldn’t wish this “life” on anyone

 

no apologies necessary, @Mary V

truly can’t even imagine how hard that must be

 

Depression is hitting a bit hard today cause I woke up with what I thought was strep throat, told my fellow managers(store manager and assistant) I probably wouldn't make it in since I'm very lethargic/feverish/aches and can barely swallow only to have one say they didn't want to cover my closing shift and the store manager asking me to try to just mask up and tough it out. (Mostly because he wouldn't stay late if his life depended on it) Got to a walk in clinic and tested negative but they did a mono test instead. That came back positive and I told the store manager that I'm instructed to stay home for the next 3 days. Having the diagnosis is a little disheartening but even more so that I was simply told to just come in anyway even if I did test positive for strep. I've only called out sick twice in my 6 years in this place. I feel like I'm always taken advantage of here. Only reason I'm keeping this job is because I strictly opted for closing shifts so I could help my mom take care of my ailing grandma so she could work her job in the mornings. Everything just came crashing down on me since I couldn't keep out of my head. I had a breakdown earlier this afternoon and passed out from exhaustion. I have almost no time to myself because of the family situation and work. Seems the only time I can get any is when I become sick.

 

Good mental health things that happened recently:

- I finally came out to my mom as non-binary and she was incredibly supportive

Bad things:
- My dad had a former patient of his visit my sister and they were both shooting up. The person who visited ended up having to be taken to the hospital for overdosing. I'm not angry with my sister or the visitor, because I feel like I understand heroin addiction enough to know neither of them are doing it like, be vindictive or anything like that. But I am pretty disgusted with my dad for enabling my sister's addiction for years and continuing to do so. Like, he would quite literally leave money on the table for her to go buy it just so he would avoid having to actually do anything to help her. He's a fucking coward and I hate how people used to compare me to him.

 

Has anyone felt like they were emotionally neglected by or neglected other ways by their parents while growing up? Like maybe you felt like they paid more attention to your siblings then you, helped your siblings more, ignored you when you tried to talk to them. Maybe called you lazy when you were actually depressed, or told you that you weren’t actually tired, just “anemic”, but really maybe you have a rare medical problem that’s difficult to diagnose. Perhaps ignored your needs in a way to where you went undiagnosed for something for years because they focused more on the needs of others and thought you were “fine”, but you really weren’t because your needs weren’t the “same”. The list can go on. But in whatever way you felt neglected, has it affected you in not wanting children or afraid of having children, because you don’t want what happened to you to happen to them. Has it affected you in other ways that you can’t easily explain.

 

Pretty much all of what you described is exactly how I feel about my dad.

 

I had a dream where one of my teeth next to the one I’m trying to rotate fell out...like it just fell out even though it wasn’t mobile. Then I’m trying to rush around to try to put it back. Was told I have to get an implant. Then put it in milk to try to save it.
Another dream was where ever I was living m, my ex’s parents moved in a few doors down. I forgot what happened the rest of that dream. But it really got me fucked.

 

I wish I knew what the fuck was wrong with me. Why do I always self sabotage and throw my life into chaos?

 

I got really irritated about something that happened at work today. I wish I had someone to talk to about it. There are certain things I don’t like to post on here. It’s sad that I’ll likely never have someone I can talk to about things

 

guys, you have to make squat at the gym and your men`s health will be much better.

 

got diagnosed with BPD today...I'm sure everything will be chill in the end but still having a tough day coming around to that information. I think I've maybe stigmatized that disorder a lot before and realizing now how much it sucks that i did that.

 

I was diagnosed with it years ago. Not an easy disorder to live with.

 

It’s been ungodly relieving looking back at some of my life through the lens of it tbh but yeah it seems really really hard to wrangle more often than not

 

I can’t survive alone. That’s why I’m afraid of being alone. I’m terrified.

 

Kinda crossposting from Vent Your Frustrations but everything I last mentioned there...

.. resulted in me being too depressed to pull myself out of bed one day and also was probably a contributor to a rather violent puking episode on Friday. Like, full on projectile vomiting into my garbage can. I do have enough sick time at work to where calling out those two days wasn't that huge of an issue, but all of this is also negatively affecting my performance at my job. Nothing that will put anyone in danger or anything, but I am making silly mistakes where I normally wouldn't.

 

My mental health prevents me from getting the smallest tasks done. I’m trying to find ways to be more productive. It’s difficult when I work a full 5 days instead of 4. I usually one day to do small tasks and rest. The next two; cleaning, laundry, and groceries. When I work 5 days I start to get migraines. I’m trying to get things in order so I’m not spending too much time doing it later on. I’m super jealous of a friend of mine who’s place is spotless. Part of the problem is my apt is super small and no closet space for storage or any space really for organization.

 

I think I ruined something great for me for good, I’m a fucking idiot.

 

I've been so depressed lately and have used the majority of my time off over the last year dealing with it. I just couldn't get up today and was sick to my stomach feeling down, and took a half day off. Now I'm left with 1/2 a day for the rest of the year and I'm afraid of what could happen if I get sick and need more time off than that.

 

My mental health is probably the worst it’s been since I was 19. I’m in my student teaching and supposed to graduate in December but I had to fake sick today because I was so distraught and unstable. I called a mental health facility and got put on a waiting list for a partial hospitalization program that could start as early as the next few days, but I’m so afraid of what that will mean for the remainder of my internship and graduation. This just absolutely sucks and makes me feel genuinely hopeless about the future.

 

been going through a long, drawn out break up with my partner of 5 years and it's just taken a toll on me. he is moving to another state to be with someone he met online while we were still living together. he's leaving in December and has basically been in my life every single day for the duration of the relationship. I'm struggling with how to build back, self worth, etc. have to keep telling myself that this really isn't about me at all. but it is really hard some days.

 

I’ve been on lamictal and some other meds for four years. It’s definitely a mood stabilizer. Throughout the years, I’ve slowly stopped caring about much. I just don’t care about anything now. Most days I get home from work, eat a bowl of ramen, take my emergency anxiety pill to put me to sleep, and go right to bed. The only thing that keeps me from asking for a prescription change is not wanting to feel sadness.

 

I'm also on lamictal and feel similar.

 

I mean, it has helped A LOT. I’m just having a different problem now.