Accountability in Music • Page 280

I think discussing things like the impact of negative attention on abusers, or generally showing empathy to people like that guy are extremely valuable in a therapy setting, where the abuser is trying to overcome whatever is causing them to be the way they are. I don't think those discussions are relevant wrt the person he hurt's healing process. cycles of abuse cause imbalances of power, and reclaiming your story- your entire story- is empowering.

i'm sure he feels terrible about how he acted when he was younger, and hopefully with the right support system he can become a better person, if he hasn't yet, but all of that should be done within the framework of not holding the people back from doing what they need to to get better.

edit- don't think I had the full story- as he's still being terrible, I don't think any discussion about his rehabilitation or how he feels is appropriate here.

 

He obviously doesn't feel terrible, because he won't take responsibility for what he did and is instead going back out to play music like he's done absolutely nothing wrong while simultaneously blaming Georgia for all the ills in his life.

 

delete- irrelevant

 

My favorite part of this whole cycle is when people start giving the abuser the space of someone who is taking any sort of steps towards accountability, yknow the title of this fucking thread, when they CLEARLY AREN'T

 

Exactly, so much wasted breath on what the abuser needs for his mental health when they've skirted accountability entirely. You don't even earn the space for that kind of discussion when you won't even acknowledge what you've done wrong.

 

He's not different or sorry and we shouldn't infer that he is when the behavior hasn't changed.

This isn't in the past. It's still happening. He's still doing it.

You can't forgive someone for something they not only aren't sorry for, but haven't stopped doing.

 

I know it’s really not the point of everything being discussed, but I have still never been convinced that that user is an actual human person commenting. Every post always makes me feel like I’m involved in a Turing test or something.

 

I've never seen them comment in a single other thread before

 

I think it’s understandable to be suspect of Matty and his intentions. He has a serious tendency to put his foot in his mouth and say some very questionable things that come off very racist and insensitive, i.e. rock and roll isn’t misogynistic but rap is, that time he quit Twitter because people called him out on his tweets about Islam, etc.

To his credit he does seem to take the criticism on board and is willing to engage, but man, he really should know better.

 

That's why I made a personal vow never to directly engage with their content. It's not worth it.

 

My brain just naturally blazes through it thankfully

 

Decided I didn't want to support Tilian anymore a while ago, but if I hadn't already this would do it

 

Fucking gross

 

I've been in a slide away from the swancore scene for awhile now because of him.
Reminder that he sings "from every little bit of sunshine I call freedom, white 21 is the maximum fun" which is a gross dog whistle flaunting of his white privilege.

 

Every time he has the opportunity to open his mouth and do better, he does the other thing instead.

That's a "yikes" from me.

 

He’s certainly made me feel uncomfortable at times with the things he says online and some of his lyrics, but I’m just over him at this point. Can’t handle his bullshit anymore. It’s appalling how dense he is

 

it's kinda similar to black back up singers with many rock bands and singers in general. You may never know if they are selected because of tokenism but for sure they're always killing it whether singing or dancing supporting these white folk.

 

Going to go out on a limb and say there's not a "music fan" that has forgiven that guy that hasn't also forgiven every other abusive asshole. I don't think some music fan is sitting around going "well, he's forgiven, but I'm not listening to Pinegrove out of my principles."

 

I kind of wouldn't be so sure about that. I could see a lot of people thinking this situation is different than something like the Pinegrove one exactly because he "did his time" and because he wasn't successful in what he was trying to do. That's absurd, of course, but I could see it being what people say.

Also isn't Tilian like really religious as well? That angle of "forgiveness" could also be in play here. And that's even another thing that could affect where people draw their individual lines.

Honestly I probably shouldn't be trying to get inside the heads of people who would excuse what any of these scumbags did but oh well.

 

Ooof

 

It's incredible how many people use religion to forgive abusive men on behalf of the people they actually harmed.

 

People like Jack and Tillian forget that forgiveness isn't theirs to give in these situations.

 

If you can find me one "Pinegrove is canceled" but "I'm cool and into AILD" person I'll revaluate my belief.

 

It never ceases to amaze me what sick, evil shit gets excused or justified using religion.

 

I'm not saying I've seen it I'm just saying that I wouldn't be surprised. Also how much crossover is there really between AILD fans and Pinegrove fans? lol