Pinegrove Address “Sexual Coercion” and Announce a New Album • Page 2

If you’ve ever read a single post of mine on this website, you’d know I am also care about those things. It’s not about her feelings, it’s about dumb sexist takes being used to diminish her capacity to think critically and write critically. There are conversations about all of this in the album thread in the music forum and the accountability thread. Feel free to participate, since it’s definitely more in depth than the comments on news posts.

 

Isn't the whole story a private matter to begin with ? I feel like it exclusively belongs to these two people if one is an asshole to the other, and that it's nobody else's business to comment about the private life of a couple.
Plus isn't it dangerous, infantilizing to women to consider that only men are responsible for the relationship ?
I know it's hard/impossible to discuss these matters in this forum but it's a genuine consideration

 

So where's that album

 

You have the right to hold that opinion, but I think your thoughts or mine pale in importance next to a victim's thoughts on what justice or accountability means. I'm not comfortable with your take on it, because it implies that a person can never completely right a wrong, or transform into a person who can be trusted with responsibility, no matter what actions they take to self-improve or do right by people they've hurt. I don't subscribe to the "once a cheater/abuser, always a cheater/abuser" philosophy.

 

Someone can right a wrong, but that doesn't mean they should be granted access to the position they once used to harm others. Like I said, I'm glad this reconciliation has taken place and he seems to have made a genuine effort to improve on himself and reflect on his actions, but as a victim of mistreatment myself the idea of him making a move back towards the place he once abused feels discomforting and unpleasant. I don't express this point of view from a desire for retribution or what have you, but because I feel it seems wrong for him to just go away for a year and then come back and go about it like he did before. I do hope that given the chance he has been given, he shows himself to be a better person than he was before for the sakes of those he hurt and those who may also view him with mistrust, but until he's proven himself I can only feel the discomfort I've expressed and feel annoyed at seeing another abuser allowed to reclaim space he rescinded the right to hold.

 

Did you read the article?

 

Yes I did, and as I said it's great they've reached a reconciliation. I also feel it's far too soon for him to come back or at all, as I don't think it's appropriate considering his behaviour. He can talk about how he feels he's changed and it's awesome to actually see someone holding themselves accountable for their actions but of course he's going to make himself look good for a journalistic piece that could help him re-enter the music scene, so I'm going to have to say I don't really trust his words 100% yet. Obviously he's going to relaunch his music now regardless of what anyone says and if that's how it is, I can only hope he backs up his talk of making up for his actions. God help him if he fucks this up though because I guarantee he won't get a 3rd chance.

 

I have, which is why I'm frankly surprised you've staked out this position. But we seem to be talking at cross-purposes here, so I'll refrain from commenting further.

 

but how bout that album though. P - good.

 

Who are you to be the arbiter of his career? Especially when the issues have been dealt with internally. It seems like you just want to be outraged to be outraged, but don't actually have any sincere thoughts on the matter or what would constitute an acceptable return.

 

I don't give a single fuck about his career. I care that a known abuser is trying to return to a position of power he has pretty blatantly abused. An acceptable return, to me, would be not returning because PREDATORS SHOULDN'T BE IN THIS SCENE. Maybe you should care more about the shitty things he's done than his pweshus career.

 

IN THIS THREAD: pseudo-progressive men who defend a Pitchfork article where a known creep tries to re-sell himself, because they just want to be able to like Pinegrove again and not feel 'victimized'...

 

The situation wasn’t good but how is he a predator? Maybe I missed a part of this story.

 

Dude used someone's vulnerability and trust to coerce them into doing things they weren't entirely comfortable with. Sounds pretty damn predatory to me.

 

Maliciously or mindlessly?

...and what his "platform" as a medium class band member had to do with any of it? Cause I don't seem to fully get it, I'm still quite much confused, mostly cause I don't really get all the vocabulary and language used, seeing as English is not my L1 - but most of it sounds like dealing with a relation in a very bad taste and being close to a sociopathic ass. None of what I've read sounded like maniacal baheviour - it seems it's important if he knew she wasn't comfortable with what they were doing on the spot, or legitimately talked through it later and actually handled it with respect (like they're trying to make it out to be), well, there's too much detail in the shade - I personally can't trust one sided articles, especially when there's so much backlash within the music scene among people that might quite possibly know something more, but at the same time, that's not really enough to jump to conclusions.